I would stay away from the small Christian school. If anything get into a place that is known for your field of study. Can you really not keep up or are you choosing not to do your best?
@BrownParent I have already arranged to shadow someone over winter break and hope to figure something out for summer break.
@BackNSchool83 I am not having problems keeping up; after I dropped my calculus course I feel as if everything is fairly easy. I am working very hard though, I am not slacking if that is what you are asking. However, I am not happy here.
@NorthernMom61 I think that I am going to wait at least until this semester is over to decide whether or not I want to transfer.
Thanks again, everyone!
If I do decide to transfer, does anyone have any suggestions for good, Christian colleges? There is no certain geographical area that I prefer.
Thank you!
You said that when you were in middle school you became “missile locked” on this particular school. It seems you are prematurely obsessed with your dental school outcome. Let go! Give yourself some breathing room and do just that. Breathe! Relax! Seek and focus on avenues to connect. Maybe you will find you have a completely different interest. Go to hear a speaker. Try something new.
T seems like the school you are at can be a perfectly great match if you give it time and are open.
I echo the thought on going to counseling.
Update:
I have followed the advice that many of you have given me and went to get help at CAPS. I had my initial assessment and am now on a waiting list to get help. I am still depressed and not happy here, but hopefully they can help me figure everything out. Thanks for all of your advice!
I went to Duke. Being on East campus as a freshman can be tough. It gets better.
You are going to school with some of the smartest kids in the world. You will learn more from your peers than you will from any book or teacher. Sure it is tougher at Duke.
Dental schools know Duke. You’ll have an easy time getting in to Dental School.
Stick it out.
Don’t forget the impact of your demotion in the world!
Most first years have at least the occasional moment of going from top of the heap in high school - seniors!- to bottom of the heap. And many, many first years find the transition from the kind of work expected in secondary school to the kind of work in college challenging.
Based on some of your comments, though, your demotion could be even bigger than most: I’m guessing that you were something of a star at your old school and in your hometown- and now you are very ordinary! just about everybody around you is really smart, really achievement oriented, used to be at the top of the class. And on top of that, the standard of work that is considered ‘ordinary’ is what used to be considered ‘exceptional’.
That can be a tough adjustment.
But as everybody else is saying: you can do this. It’s like starting a new sport: you have to develop the muscles. Sooner than you will credit, you will have learned how to do the type and level of work that you need to do to meet the standard at top tier school.
One of the reasons to go to a top tier school is to have a peer group: to be in and with students whose ability and ambition is similar to yours. If you have ever played tennis with somebody who is better than you, you know how much it improves your game. This is your time to see what you can do when you stretch yourself.
@15moel, I’ve been thinking of you. I am so glad you’ve reached out to CAPS. How much longer do they say the waitlist will be? I think with support you can get through this difficult first year. Duke (and other top schools) are good at picking students they think will thrive in their environment and they clearly wanted you because you were admitted ED.
Hang in there and keep us posted.
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words and motivation. I will take all of your comments into consideration.
@GnocchiB I am now off of the waitlist for CAPS and have an appointment scheduled for Monday.
@sgopal2 I actually really like living on East Campus, it gives it a bit of a smaller, more homey feel.
@collegemom3717 After I withdrew from my Calc class I have actually been doing pretty well academically and am not too worried about being at the bottom. I’m just not sure that this is the right place for me, I am not a big fan of the environment here. It is not that the other people intimidate me, it is more that I don’t share their values. People are very interested in networking and often seem fake. There are some great people here though! I have already made some great friends.
I have begun looking into small, Christian colleges closer to home and have fallen in love with one. I know that this is terrible. I very well could be just falling in love with the idea of a “perfect school” or just the idea of leaving Duke. I know that it should get better and I will come to like it here, but I just can’t imagine the light at the end of the tunnel. College is supposed to be the best 4 years of my life and I already feel like I’ve wasted time and money here. We are supposed to be choosing our courses for next semester and I can’t even imagine coming back next semester, let alone bookbagging the courses that I will have to take. I used to love learning and trying new things, but that is now gone. The idea of actually leaving does terrify me though. I have called home crying multiple times and now my mom is sick of it. I really want to like it here and stay. I am so conflicted!
That is an absolutely terrible idea. Really? age 18-21 is the best bit, and the next 70 years are downhill all the way?
No.
College is full of contradictions: it is fun, exciting, scary, boring, uncertain, confusing, anxious, invigorating. Most of all it is full of change- in you and around you, and even good change is hard. Anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell you something.
Of course you have fallen in love with a small, safe, cosy Christian college back home. Everybody will think the same way as you and you will be a big fish in a little pond. Comfy.
But…you fell in love with this college once upon a time also. You are at a school with 6.000 undergrads and you ‘don’t share their values’ with any of them?
From here it still reads like a fairly classic ‘it’s not what I expected / it’s harder to create a new life that fits me than I thought it would be’ response to a really big change. Hand on heart, a lot of people feel just as you do now, and a lot of them go ahead and apply to transfer somewhere safer and more familiar. Then, often after spring break, when the deposit has been paid, they realize that they really like where they are and don’t want to move. Others go ahead and move to the new school and and then repent that decision when the reality of what they have chosen hits home.
I would be a lot more convinced if you were looking to move like-to-like. For example, I know somebody who transferred from Bucknell to Brown- made a lot of sense. If you were saying, Duke is not for me, but Rice or William & Mary or Cornell or Pomona or Georgetown or Washington & Lee would suit me better- I might be more convinced. But imo, what you are proposing is the moral equivalent of going home and pulling the covers over your head b/c the world is too big and scary. And the mere fact that you got yourself up and out of a place in which that is a rare thing, and got yourself to Duke, says that you are better than that.
Maybe I’m not being helpful, but just think the great opportunities you face are what LOTS of people loving for so long and seeking so hard and maybe failed. Treasure it, try to enjoy it. You are here for a reason.
Given that you have found a social niche, you may be suffering from depression. As others have suggested, I recommend that you seek out counseling.
It also may be that you feel guilty about the money your parents are investing and that somehow that should translate into a “perfect” experience. If not, you may be asking if the financial sacrifice is worth it? Well, no place is going to be absolutely perfect. It sounds like there is much to enjoy, though.
If you feel that you will be more comfortable at a Christian school, it would be helpful to know your preferred denomination.
@mamaedefamilia I have gone to CAPS and received help. I had an appointment yesterday and they suggested that I meet with a psychiatrist and start taking antidepressants.
That is exactly how I feel. My parents are investing a lot of money in my education and I don’t think that it is worth it. Would it be better to just go somewhere cheaper since undergrad doesn’t really matter for dentistry anyway?
I am Lutheran, by the way. I have been looking into St. Olaf in MN.
@collegemom3717 I didn’t say that I don’t share values with any of them. I have found some great people that I share similar views with. However, these people are the minority. It is not that I want to transfer to a less elite institution, it is just that I am reconsidering what I want from the college I attend. I am beginning to think that a LAC would be a better fit for me than a research university, and it would also be nice to be closer to home to cut down on travel costs. I guess I don’t really want to transfer to another elite institution because they are pretty competitive and I am not a fan of that. However, everything that you had to say did make sense. I know that college isn’t all fun, and I wasn’t expecting that. Me saying that it is supposed to be the best 4 years of my life was a really dumb thing to say. I wasn’t expecting it to be all miserable either. I know that everyone says that a lot of people feel this way and that I will learn to love my school, but I just cannot see it happening. Hopefully I do end up loving Duke though.
@njsdcisdjk That is a very good point and puts a new spin on things. Thanks for the comment.
St. Olaf is a terrific school with great placement for med school (don’t know about dentistry). We are trying to get our daughter to take a serious look at it, even though we are not Lutheran. I still think that you should try to stick it out at Duke for a year. Put in a transfer application, if you wish, and see how you feel when the results come back. Good luck. I am glad you are getting help.
Helpful updates, @15moel. Putting in some transfer applications costs only a little - and you don’t have to accept any offers that you get. As for ‘elite’ and ‘LAC’, they are not mutually exclusive! Most of the ‘elite’ LACs are not competitive (between students, that is!) - in fact, they are usually very collaborative. They often have very good grad school acceptances- without the ‘weed-out’ classes associated with bigger universities.
Also, just to put the cat among the pigeons: remember how you fell in love with Duke all those years ago, but now that you are there you are not sure that it is right for you? keep in mind that it is not impossible that could also happen with the profession you fell in love with all those years ago.
So, even though you are right that for dental school it doesn’t matter very much where you get your undergraduate degree, what if that goal changes? There are things about where you do your undergraduate degree that really do matter. It matters that the academics are challenging but achievable. It matters that you are around people who stretch you, expose you to new ideas, new ways of seeing the world. St Olaf is a great school, but- based on what has been posted here- for you it seems more like running home than going forward into life.
Davidson is a highly ranked LAC (#9 on USNWR, to #51 for St Olaf) just down the road from you- go take a look at that one Saturday and see what you think.
@15moel No problem. Hope you find a way to work out the predicament. I believe if Duke chose you, you have enough ability to solve it. Good luck!
Thank you, everyone for your comments and support.
@collegemom3717 If I did not end up to be a dentist then I would probably be a teacher, in which case a degree from Duke is not cost effective or practical. They do not have an education department (aside from a concentration). Otherwise I would go into medicine. The point that you made is definitely true, and it is one that my parents keep bringing up also.
I will keep you all updated. 
St Olaf is a great choice!
I mentioned earlier to give it time, but you know what? Duke might not be the right school for you. You mentioned valid reasons, but things still might change. Wait out the year and then decide. Even if you apply somewhere else and get accepted, keep in mind that you will probably be working just as hard, with little social life. It’s the nature of the major.
Good luck.
Another update for you all:
I went to CAPS, which helped. I am now almost completely better, however I am still contemplating transferring. I have learned to like it here and have a bunch of great friends that I would be sad to leave. The basketball games are also super fun. Yesterday, I registered for classes for next semester, so I will be staying here at least until the end of this year. I am not sure if this is the right fit for me though. The atmosphere is ultra-competitive and I am not a fan of it. (There are other things that I dislike too.) I would also like to study art during my college career, but the art classes here are very limited and fill up quickly. I probably won’t make any concrete decisions until later this year, but I thought that I would update you guys. I am doing much better now! Thanks again for all of your comments and feedback.
@15moel how has your 2nd semester been? Are you settling in, or still thinking of transferring?
@GnocchiB My second semester has been fine. My classes are manageable and I am getting fairly good grades. I am still involved in a lot of the same activities and have a solid group of friends. I have become more established here, but I am still not sure that this is the place for me. I am more interested in dentistry than I was before, so I am still on the pre-dental track. Also, I believe that I am no longer suffering from depression. I have submitted a few transfer applications and hope that I can get some great scholarships from at least one of the schools I applied to. I am still a little bit conflicted and am not sure that it is worth leaving. Overall, this second semester has been fine and is going by fairly quickly, which I appreciate.
Also, I have decided that I would not like to attend St. Olaf because my language credits would not transfer and I would have to start learning an entirely new language.