Is my daughter working too hard?

<p>Hello, I'm the mother of a 9th grade student taking part in the Pre-IB Program. So far, she is doing very, very well- straight A's and at the top of her classes. I'm very proud of her hard work, diligence and success! However, she is doing what seems to me like an exorbitant amount of work- around 4+ hours nightly. She's told me that the work intense, stressful and rigorous.In your opinion, is this workload too large, and do you think that as a very high achieving student, she would be better off taking AP and honors classes? (Do you think the IB Program is worth it?) Thank you in advance!</p>

<p>There’s lots of discussion about that topic here

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<p>Casting the question of course rigor + time “required” for homework/study/preparation/review as an IB vs. AP issue masks the issue. If you were to look at academic private college prep high schools, or magnet public schools, or streamed classes in charter schools you’ll get concurrence from students (and their parents) in such programs that academic rigor translated to a great deal of preparation.</p>

<p>An average of 4-5 hours nightly is typical. The key is how to balance the time over the week and the weekend. Most students in such programs figure out how to prioritize the preparation time by 10th grade. They truly develop the study skills that are essential for success in academic colleges and in many professions.</p>

<p>My sense from your post is that your D is succeeding. What she most likely needs is parental support for her effort and guidance on how to best balance her preparation time over the week. Most likely she’ll learn that on her own.</p>

<p>Intense and rigorous – yep, that’s IB. The stress often comes from the workload, and yes 4 hours a night at this stage is not unusual. It won’t ease up as she goes, so if she’s having a hard time now, she may want to look at AP instead. As you see on the other thread, reasonable people can disagree, but for us IB was worth it. It prepared D for college as nothing else could have.</p>

<p>Does your daughter want this program?</p>

<p>That is – are you the one questioning the workload, while your daughter is trying to explain to you why there is so much work? Or is your daughter griping about the workload and complaining of being overstressed?</p>

<p>If your daughter is happy with the situation, I’d say that you should continue to provide support, both in terms of emotional support and also respecting her schedule (for example, recognizing that she will need to budget her time for family activities or focus on household chores) – but also let her know that it would be o.k. with you if she ever opts for an easier path. </p>

<p>If she is complaining about being overstressed, then I think that good parenting is about taking care of the whole child – high school should be a time for growth, socializing and some time for fun – and so you should help your daughter find a path that better fits her needs. What looks good for college should NOT be part of the equation now – the only question is what is best for your daughter’s well-being.</p>

<p>The ultimate question is,Do YOU think she’s working too hard?You must be immensely proud as a mother,as your daughter is an academic giant.Establish yourself as a core influence to her extraordinary achievements by being seriously involved in her academic routine(not that you are not doing this,but I’ve been in the same situation as your daughter,gotten such high grades,people did not know what to expect next,yet I nearly failed in my main exams as I was not sure of my study habits in my last year.I’m fine though,and back to the same trend)</p>

<p>Your daughter has written posts indicating that she would like to get out of the pre-IB program.</p>

<p>I think that some students have to work that hard to get all A’s in IB and others can get straight A’s without having to study 4+ hours per night. I don’t think it is necessarily a bad thing for a high school student to have to work that hard, but you have to evaluate the effect it has on the particular student. Does your child seem happy or unhappy about this? Some people, myself included, thrive in intense environments that others would find too stressful.</p>

<p>As far as college admissions go, I don’t think IB has an advantage over AP at most schools. I think the advantage of IB is in preparing the student for a college level work load. However, 4+ hours every night, night after night seems excessive, especially if she has to do work on Friday nights and Saturday, too. Is it possible that she is so afraid of getting a B that she is being obsessive in her work?</p>

<p>“Your daughter has written posts indicating that she would like to get out of the pre-IB program.”</p>

<p>Well, that changes everything. I would not force a child to stay in IB. If she has to work herself to death to get A’s in IB and wants out, I would listen to her.</p>

<p>Four hours a night is a lot, especially if she is working that much consistently over time. It would really make it hard to do other activities.</p>

<p>What do you expect next year if she stays in IB? Would she have to work harder? If so, can she work more than 4 hours a night? It sounds too much to me.</p>

<p>My kids went to a school that only had AP courses, and they worked that hard too. But the key is that they wanted to do so. If your daughter is unhappy, as some earlier posters have said, then it is not worth it, and she may need to drop IB.</p>

<p>My daughter is in an IB program, and some nights she works for four hours, but not every night. She is extremely busy with other activities as well–if she worked four hours a night, she’d have to drop activities.</p>

<p>One thing to look at is whether your D has good, efficient study habits. Is she really working steadily for four hours, or is it just that it takes her four hours to finish, with lots of fits and starts and texts and Facebook in between? IB will really kill you if you don’t develop good habits.</p>

<p>It may be that your D has never had to put in this kind of work before, and as she adjusts to the increased expectations, she’ll get more proficient, manage her time better, and will be fine. </p>

<p>S2 spent hours in front of the computer every night, ostensibly doing HW, but he was also watching hockey games, chatting with his GF and blogging. (At least he’d admit he wasn’t constantly working. ;)) He did have stretches where he had 4-6 hours a night, but it was cyclical. Generally, he had about two hours of HW.</p>

<p>But seriously, IB is intense. Not everyone gets straight As. S2 said he learned that working REALLY hard did not always yield the grades he wanted, even if he was learning lots. Good lesson for college.</p>

<p>You know your D best. Talk to her. Find out why she thinks it’s taking four hours/night. Is she sacrificing friends and activities? Is she showing other signs of stress? She may just be venting to you, but feeling pretty good about how she’s managing most of the time.</p>

<p>My kids Catholic high school didn’t have IB…just AP. However, the AP teachers were given free reign as to how much homework they could schedule (non-AP teachers were given a homework limit). </p>

<p>Their excuse was that they were preparing the kids for tests that they (the teachers) haven’t seen so EVERYTHING must get covered. I guess their strategy worked. Most kids got 5s…</p>

<p>My kids had 4+ hours of homework nearly every night. And, these teachers treated weekends like marathon homework times.</p>

<p>I did complain when one T-giving weekend, my kids only had time to eat the dinner…the rest of the time they had to do homework. I asked the principal if the school’s policy was that T-giving and Christmas breaks were holidays for FACULTY only. He was embarrassed. He then declared that T-giving and Christmas breaks were off limits for homework.</p>

<p>I agree with mom2collegekids. Four hours of weeknight homework is normal in our area.</p>

<p>Very good points made above about how much of the 4+ hours is really spent studying vs. facebook, texting, etc. That is one thing I can say about my DD, when she is dong her work, she does it and does not text or play around on facebook. I am beginning to realize that this may be the reason my DD does not seem near as stressed out about IB as what I am reading from other parents.</p>

<p>Up until this year, I only had middle schoolers, but they always did 4H a night of HW or some school related activity: projects, practice instruments, self-study, reading in addition to a heavy sports schedule.</p>

<p>4H per night of homework in high school too much, really???</p>

<p>At a recent family gathering, no not Thanksgiving, my 9th grader and I went around to extended ‘successful’ family members and asked what advice they would give to “a young person” just starting their high school career. My favorite advice from one of the sage great aunties was, “Work your fool head off.” Enuf said.</p>

<p>I concur with the above: my middle schooler has that much too. Certainly AP and honors classes at our high school often required more than 4 hours a night for my kids. When D went to a competitive academic program in our state she met top students from many different schools, both public and private. Most of these kids reported working late into the night on weeknights and catching up on sleep on weekends. So yes, I think that homework load is typical for a high-achieving student in difficult classes.</p>

<p>Also, it’s possible that your D’s workload will taper off a bit with the holidays coming. My kids always had the most work from mid Sept. to Thanksgiving and then mid March to mid May.</p>

<p>When you add in school hours, some of these kids are essentially working 11 or 12 hour days. Most adults with full-time jobs don’t do that.</p>