Is my essay too controversial?

<p>I'm looking for some people (not new members of CC) to read and critique my Common App essay. It's in response to Topic #2.</p>

<p>Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.</p>

<p>I chose an issue of "local" concern, but it has implications on a national level, I think. I'm worried that the topic/the way I wrote the essay doesn't say much about me and may be too risky.</p>

<p>PM me/post here if you'll help me out. Thanks!</p>

<p>I’ll be happy to help! PM me.</p>

<p>I will be happy to read it for you.</p>

<p>I would love to read it as well.</p>