I’m going to try and tread this topic carefully because I know how controversial it sometimes becomes (although I don’t worry much about that in this community).
I am a minority who’s planning to attend a boarding school next school term. My main concern is not the workload or assimilating in the community, but how I will be treated there. After visiting these schools, I have no doubt that the community of boarding schools welcoming, and most of the schools are diverse, however obviously I don’t have first-hand info on how people are treated at these places. As most boarding schools are, my school has predominately Caucasian and Asian students. I am use to this since my current middle school is similar. However, after browsing multiple image boards and forms of media - (specifically reading comments section on these sites) - I feel a sense of prejudice and bias emitting from some of these people, and I’m afraid I’ll experience it at my school
Obviously I can’t completely change people’s mindset, but I just wanted to know if there was an underlying race issue at boarding schools. Thank you!!
Im guessing I worded the question poorly
I’m not at a BS yet, I’m just in 7th grade. I guess there may be different attitudes at different schools. I mean, when you read the website they all talk about inclusivity blah blah, but I think it takes visiting the school to see if you “fit” with the way the other kids and the teachers are. One person’s view of open and accepting might be totally different from someone else’s. I think that applies in this case too. I guess it might depend on how you feel too. Do you attend public or private school now, and are you in an affluent area? I think that might make a difference, and may give you a clue to how you will feel in a BS environment.
I think what might stand out more in some of these places is more the personality or attitude of people. Like if you go to a SUPER preppy school, but you are kind of wild and like blue hair or something, that might make you feel more different than race necessarily.
My suggestion is to look at some past year’s acceptance stats. Usually people will list if they are URM or not. Maybe you can PM some of the URM’s and ask them about their personal experiences.
I would also definitely see if you can talk to some other minority students when you are visiting schools to see how they feel there and if they have any tips.
“these places”?
Sounds like you are going into the situation with your own prejudices.
@rhandco What? That isn’t a thoughtful or nice response.
Depends. I know someone who goes to Phillips Exeter who has heard the n word with the hard -er at school and in the local community. That was just his experience though.
I don’t think race is an issue. The only thing that I think there maybe is a big divide among the Asian kids (Chinese) and the American. I saw this when I visited boarding schools and at my current school.
By “these places” I was refering to the different boarding schools
I would ask a minority student who currently resides at a boarding school to get the most reliable answer. I’m a minority myself, and I go to a pretty diverse school right now, so I’m friends with many white people. The only minority student I can think of right now is @boardingjunkie, but she hasn’t been on CC for a while. Also, what school are you going to? You don’t have to say, but your experience will be different if you’re going to a school like Deerfield, with only 25% of the students identifying as PoC, than St. Andrew’s, where nearly 50% of the students are PoC.
Sorry for the late reply, but I’m going to Hotchkiss which is about 30% students of color. I’m not really concerned with that at all, my parents say they are worried for me though.
At Phillips Exeter, I don’t find many issues regarding race-- in fact, there are many affinity groups on campus and in general, our student body is involved and aware of issues around the world. We’ve had several student protests and marches, including a Die-In for Ferguson and a march for missing Nigeria schoolgirls. It’s a huge perk of coming to such a big boarding school-- there are tons of people from many different backgrounds, and we often have assemblies about these things. We also have MLK day, where class is canceled and students attend workshops.
It is true that students tend to hang out with others of the same color, but I sense no big divide.
There is a problem with students of color and the townspeople of Exeter, however. I recommend reading these two articles:
http://theexonian.com/2015/05/21/students-faculty-express-concern-for-police-profiling/
http://theexonian.com/2015/05/21/students-examine-interactions-with-local-residents/
Wow, that’s very insightful. Thank you
I teach at a boarding school with a population in the ballpark of 30% minority students (I do not reveal my school’s identity or get too accurate on details). If I asked this question of my black, Latino, and Asian kids, they would say “yes, race is an issue.” If I asked my white kids, some would agree, but many would say “no, everyone is totally accepting here.” Boarding school brings together kids from lots of different backgrounds and places. Many of those kids–across racial groups–will never have lived with or been close friends with people who don’t share their race before. There is a learning curve. I think you are right to start asking and investigating what the scene will be like at Hotchkiss, because you are clearly already smart enough to be going in with an open mind and expectation that on balance, things will be fine, but there will be some issues. My guess is that you will do very well there.
However, in your daily life, there will be numerous micro-aggressions. The “good” side is that these will generally not be based in malice or deep-seeded racism (although you will likely meet a few kids who were raised to believe filth) but most of the dumb comments will spring from inexperience, ignorance, and unexamined racism. These kids may try to adopt you as a “mascot” or a “cool friend” or they may shy away from anyone who is different. They may try to engage you in “hipster racism,” where they say horrific things and then claim they were being ironic, or just joking. Or they will say dumb, racist things, and then claim they thought it was okay because the one minority student they know doesn’t complain when they talk like that. At first, everyone is so out of their own element (and all doing different things to compensate for their own newness) that you will need to remind yourself daily that “it takes time to find your friends at boarding school.” This last thought is true for every kid, regardless of race.
Boarding Schools all have different levels of success at dealing with their “underlying race” issues. High School is a time where all kids are discovering and defining their identities, which means that there will be times where you will feel singled out or be on the receiving end of an ignorant or hurtful remark. True, so will everyone, but it can be particularly frustrating when the remarks thrown at you are racially-based. But in boarding school, you will never be alone and isolated in these moments unless you let yourself be. There are teachers and students all around that you can talk to. At my school, the older students of color take a prodigious amount of care of the incoming students in their affinity groups. We also have faculty members who work in our diversity office who are able to talk to students about their concerns. Beyond that, anyone that you feel close to, or whom you think might be sympathetic will make time to listen to you if you ask. So while I cannot lie and tell you that everyone you meet in boarding school will be free from prejudice, most will be trying to learn and grow. I can say that there will be people with whom to discuss your experiences, hurts and frustrations as well as to share your joys, your triumphs and your good times. When dumb, hurtful stuff happens, find someone to talk with.
At our school, kids of color mix pretty fluidly between their own affinity groups and mixed groups for friendships, but generally pick roommates along race lines. I’m the coach of an incredibly diverse team, and the kids genuinely get along with each other and travel well together on road trips. I think most of them would count each other as friends, although they are not all super-besties. However, I do notice that when left to their own devices, the white kids will drift back to each other, while the Asian, black, and Latino kids form groups among themselves. Again, there’s no malice, but my students of color have remarked that sometimes they want to just be among students who understand their experience.
And wwe ht begun to talk about money, which is its own exclusionary factor and which crosses racial lines. Again, people will be nice, but often clueless.
Your original post and question show that you know pretty clearly what you are walking into. So yes, there are underlying race issues at boarding school as there are in all American communities, but there will also be people taking a thoughtful approach to making things work. You will make good friends and meet people who make you roll your eyes, but also people who make you see things in a new light. I hope you have a wonderful experience!