Is Studying Medicine Worth It?

<p>Today was a bit of a revealing day. I thought about being a pilot again. I’ve always wanted to learn how to fly planes for the longest time when I was younger since we would always pass this one small airfield near Mount Pocono when I was kid going to the grocery store.</p>

<p>Anyway, after researching it a bit, they make about $70k starting though I’ve also seen listings for $20k only for First Officers (aka a starting pilot).</p>

<p>Anyway, given this $20k to $70 range, and the fact they would like you to complete a degree before even being considered to receive a license let alone to get a job, I’m thinking to definitely do this on the side.</p>

<p>My dream job is to work 4 days a week, flexible hours, good pay, and something I absolutely love. Its out there and I’m gonna find it.</p>

<p>Anyway, my mom was weirdly supportive of the pilot on the side idea. It sounds like fun and it rings true to my heart. Wanting a pilot solely on that friday I have off (aka the 5th workday of the week since I want a 4 day week in my normal career), I am going to have to fund this by first getting an initial career first to pay for the $20k to $50k it costs to attend Flight School (especially the 90 day accelerated flight courses some schools offer).</p>

<p>In any case, this might work out.</p>

<p>Here are my plans re-ranked for the purpose of being honest of my career ideas:</p>

<ol>
<li>Stay pre-med and go to medical school. Sure 20’s are shot but if I pursue a field like cardiology or respiratory, it might be extremely interesting. Its a lot of years though so I got to keep thinking about this.</li>
<li>Switch to Biotech major so I can not only secure a job after the BA but go to med school too. The types of jobs were abundant and not just slated to one particular field, from manager to chemist, they’ve got it all. Here’s the job lists again. I do however like manager type positions specifically for respiratory or cardiology research. My heart just clicked for that too so we’ll see.
Cool, maybe I can direct a facility or hospital. Interesting:
As seen by these listings, the jobs available are pretty good paying though Medical Director jobs I’ve seen on Monster needed an MD. Whatever, we’ll see.</li>
<li>Switch to nursing to secure a job after the BA degree for $60k starting. Not bad at all. You can still advance a bit and change departments which would give me the flexibility I want in not only hours but the type of work. As far as respect goes, even Cyn said that the best nurses she’s ever had were male nurses, and I think I have to say somewhat the same too. That one visiting respiratory therapist was the man though, he really did change my life but I don’t really know his name. I didn’t realize what kind of impact he would put into my career ideas until later on so that’s why I don’t really remember his name.</li>
<li>Switch to a BA degree in Psychology for anxiety therapist position so that I can heal others with my problem. Not a bad idea but recreational therapists only make about $45k a year starting. Ok idea though. I do have major issues with this and this could be causing my asthma symptoms. This could be stomach related too though and ever since I quit drinking coffee my skin is slightly better plus I don’t feel so stressed out. Water helps tons.</li>
<li><p>Switch to Health Administration major so that I can manage health services for a hospital directly. Sure there’s office politics and the chance that I may cut funding for an organ donor but people die on doctor’s and nurse’s watches all the time so pick your poison. My perspective on this is still good and its around $50 or $60k starting, $80k median but it wouldn’t be bad.</p></li>
<li><p>Switch my major to Speech Pathology. Of course I would need a master’s degree to get a job with median $80k pay but if I’m interested I might for it. Its a slight plan that’s ok with me so far. The biotech job opportunities + med school op. sound good to secure a job and possibly go ahead in master’s or MD. It wouldn’t be a bad gig for I think I have huge problem with this personally.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Not a bad idea, and maybe I could help people overcome anxiety more than a recreational therapist could ever do.
7. Transfer to a respiratory care program. Now that I think of it, not necessarily York college, something cheaper than $26k a year with dorms please too, will do research. West Chester sounds good for being cheap, IUP and Millersville are close seconds due to the $15k per year price tag. Though, they’re all 2 and a half hours away. Bus might make it manageable but its a hard bargain when it was so easy for mom to drive me home when I needed to… I actually like ESU, weird huh. Distance is still an issue, if I find its for me though, buses might be available you know.</p>

<p>Alright, so I considered Physical Therapy today. The pay is pretty cool, $60k starting and the job outlook is good. Plus, I would feel great solving huge problems in people’s lives by helping them rehabilitate so they can move forward with their lives. Sounds like a typical textbook med school student cookie cutter answer but this job seems respectable right off the bat considering my physical therapist was an extremely sociable and like-able and also respectable professional.</p>

<p>Anyway, I re-ranked my career ideas so far and by the way, I’m still considering getting a pilot’s license when I graduate from my BA degree. I also am thinking to probably not go to Japan for a semester since it would be only to get the bull credits out of the way + learn Japanese. The experience would be nice but only to grasp a bit more Japanese for that much time and effort wouldn’t be as worth it plus the grading system might be even more difficult by a long shot compared to my current college’s grading system.</p>

<p>I definitely do want to visit Japan for a week at least. At least I’ve grown to terms with this idea. Anyway, here are the options :D… :</p>

<ol>
<li>Switch to Biotech major so I can not only secure a job after the BA but go to med school too. I’m bound to find a manager type position I want, specifically in a research position I would die to pursue. I just have to find the topic I want to make a complete life changing difference. Sounds like a dream plan but it sounds the most flexible, specialty wise.</li>
<li>Switch to Pre-Physical Therapy. The GPA requirements aren’t tough at all and I still would take the same courses plus my credits would transfer. If I transfer next semester to this major, I would have a great shot anyway because they take additional science courses like I have to anyway with Pre-Med. $60k starting sounds great in my opinion and I’d feel great rehabiliting people to deal with their problems face on instead of ignoring it. Sweaty huh, well, wear deodorant… Anyway.</li>
<li>Switch to nursing to secure a job after the BA degree for $60k starting. $55 to 60 k starting. Not bad. Alot of work but it would feel worthwhile for sure.</li>
<li>Switch to Health Administration major so that I can manage health services for a hospital directly. About $50k starting. Not bad at all. And I can advance with a MBA Masters in Business Administration. Positions are everywhere for this job. This wouldn’t be bad at all. Only thing is that my science credits don’t necessarily transfer too well.</li>
<li>Stay pre-med and go to medical school. This would be the best bet in the long run and I’d find something sooner or later but its debt debt debt. I still have a realistic year to really really make sure though for I have to take the MCATs junior year in the spring It is sad how I rank this 5th but this is mom’s idea really. The major switch isn’t going to happen this semester. I take the same courses as the other careers I’m considering so I’m not losing anything by necessarily staying in this path but I think I’ll eventually switch. So much to consider with this path for it takes until your 30’s for it to start paying for you. Too depressing and I’d always imagine where my 20’s went. No no no, I would want to do Med School in my 30’s anyway, because those years are about working anyway.</li>
<li><p>Switch to a BA degree in Psychology for anxiety therapist position so that I can heal others with my problem. $32k isn’t as great but I can get a master’s degree plus experience to raise it to $60k. Still not as high paying as I would want. Depends, if I happen to like the field after taking that general psychology course, I’ll consider it. I want to go for a Master’s anyway. Schramm did it, so can I!</p></li>
<li><p>Switch my major to Speech Pathology. About $60k but requires a Master’s Degree. If I could get a position after a B.A. it would be good but this is somewhat of a distant shot.</p></li>
<li><p>Transfer to a respiratory care program. Again, only about $35 to $40k starting. I’m only going to do this if I suddenly get the calling to do it. The pay is too low honestly even though my heart might consider it. I don’t necessarily want to feel underpaid either. There’s got to be a balance for this.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Thanks for reading my message! I’ll keep you updated! :D</p>

<p>I think Physical Therapy is an great choice to consider. The pay is solid and you would also have options to branch out as you advanced in your career. Being a pilot and learning Japanese sound like they would add a dash of excitement to your life. Good work planning Airhendrix.</p>

<p>Yeah I’ve been learning Japanese for the past half year by myself by this dude called NamaSensei on YouTube. His videos are a bit vulgar and funny, but the amount of what he teaches for free is amazing compared to most videos so its been fun at least and not boring taking a class for it.</p>

<p>I rethought about going to Japan. I’m probably not gonna go there for a semester for even if I keep up studying Japanese until Spring of Junior Year, its not going to be as proficient as I would want it to be to gain anything out of the experience. It might take some b.s. credits out of the way plus I would get to learn Japanese straight from the Japanese themselves but I don’t know, really.</p>

<p>I’m thinking I’d like to visit Japan for a week though and bring a camcorder with me. Otherwise, the pilot idea sounds fun though, I’ll definitely talk to Dr. Erb (my organic chemistry 1 teacher next semester) about it because he flies on the side. He has a picture of a Cesna on his office door I believe.</p>

<p>Anyway, I’ll keep you updated, thank you for the comment on Physical Therapy. I e-mailed the program director at ESU if I could apply for a physical therapist job after I receive a pre-Physician Therapist degree from ESU or if I would have to become an assistant.</p>

<p>Thanks a lot for reading! :D.</p>

<p>To be a practicing PT, you need a doctorate degree. However, you probably could get a job as a PT assistant which would be great experience and give you a further idea of the role. You could even volunteer at a PT place now if you wanted to just to be in the environment. Let me know how things go.</p>

<p>Now that you said that, I honestly don’t know what to do about that then.</p>

<p>It seems that since I’m faced with a master’s degree only option to become a Physical Therapist to get a job, so then I might as well go Biotech so I can secure a job when I graduate and either go on to Med School with a letter from the Pre-Med department or a professor of mine, or go to get a Master’s in either Psychology to become a therapist or to get a Master’s in Physical Therapist for those master’s programs are flexible for good students apparently and also for those who want to switch paths.</p>

<p>The Health Administrator job still sounds convincing and the required courses aren’t bad at all, its just that surprisingly enough, a lot of the courses that a Health Administration major has to take are business and health related (somewhat obvious but I thought it would be more science courses). To tell you the truth, the Denike building designated for Health Administration at ESU always threw me off from the career weirdly enough. Its not even a bad looking building at all but its near the edge of campus. Small stupid thing to mention when a building is barring me from a possible career. Maybe I’m not as mature as I really am when it comes to these career decisions.</p>

<p>You may be wondering after I said that why would not having science courses in the curriculum of the Health Administration major be a problem? Do you find the courses to be interesting enough so that you would miss them?</p>

<p>I found some parts of the Chemistry and Biology material in my classes to actually be interesting and revealing about life but also challenging and painfully boring sometimes. It was also a bit of a stab at my own guilty Christian ambitions even thought I’m not as devout as my mother AT ALL, I still am Christian at heart deep inside due to the guilt my mother instilled in me as a kid. Alot of my Bio classes openly defied Christianity with evolution and scientific explanations of how the world truly works.</p>

<p>I guess you take it all with a grain of salt. The health administration major wouldn’t really transfer my credits as easily as Biotech for they’re only required to take a couple GE’s in sciences then again my Intro to Bio 1 & 2 classes as well as my General Chemistry 1 & 2 classes were General Education classes anyway… Hmmm, they might transfer now that I think about it and if I do another semester of full on science courses, then those upcoming classes like Organic Chemistry wouldn’t transfer easily into that program. The main point I’m trying to drive at is that I’m scared of not really transferring my Pre-Med credits into Health Administration. </p>

<p>Anyway, I still stubbornly want to stay Pre-Med for I take the same classes as a Biotech major and I still need indefinite time to decide. I’ll definitely know by next semester. I’m not really trying to live my mom’s dream to become a doctor because both the Respiratory and Cardiology fields sound interesting to me anyway. Its just that I really want a career after my BA and still pursue my education at the same time.</p>

<p>I’m not trying to be hesitant, its just that I can’t find a better idea than pursuing an MD I guess for the moment. A lot of my plans are getting shot down left and right because a lot of the BA degree programs that I’m interested in aren’t paying $60k starting.</p>

<p>That’s really what I want honestly, $60 k starting flexibility and good pay and something I love oh and something I also can advance in with a master’s or further certification. I know I mentioned that before but I don’t know what to do now, honestly. </p>

<p>I feel like I hit a stump in the road while driving in a car. There’s only seconds before you might hit the windshield or the airbag deploys.</p>

<p>Really bad analogy but if you could lead me in another direction, I’m open minded at this point. I’ll research how to find a dream career or something like that or even $60k starting careers on Google. </p>

<p>Somewhat of an offhanded and negative update but I guess I wanted to share my honest opinion on this ever changing career situation. All I can say is that at least I’m thinking about what I really want to do and thank God that I have still time in this summer to even think about this let alone anything else but school.</p>

<p>I’m still thinking about helping out with the Drama play people at school for backstage stuff and doing camerawork again for the Media and Communications department at ESU for I did camerawork in a news show during my senior year of high school and I liked it honestly. I’m gonna be honest that when I joined Christian Fellowship during my freshman year at ESU, I did happen to get to know people and be able to talk with them whenever I met them on campus but I stopped going to their meetings around December two weeks before finals since I was studying non stop and haven’t gone to another meeting since (yes for an entire semester, not a single meeting).</p>

<p>I don’t really miss it though for most of the people there were a bit fake, they would never be real during the meetings but could openly curse or talk casually outside of it. It felt so constraining. Hopefully, drama club and doing camerawork again will make me more confident and sociable plus give me something else to than schoolwork and guitar since I’m not a fan of TV. I am however catching up on a lot of movies that I’ve missed lately and it feels great honestly for I never had the time due to school for the past couple of years to somewhat partake in pop culture stuff. Anyway…</p>

<p>Thanks for reading my messages, Lakemom because you’ve been at least real and supportive so far!</p>

<p>I don’t know anything about Biotech jobs so you should investigate more how easy it is to get a job, where they hire and how much they get paid. In terms of Healthcare Administration, you can get a masters after a BA/BS in nursing or biotech. </p>

<p>I have a masters degree in Healthcare Adm. and it was mostly business and management type courses. I had already been a nurse for many years though so did not miss the science classes when I did the program. You would be more marketable with a undergrad degree in one health area and a masters in Health adm than with Health Adm alone. That is why I said if you got a BA in Health Adm., plan on going on to get an MBA to be a more solid candidate for work.</p>

<p>It is hard to get a high paying job in general with just a BA/BS. Nursing you can but the salary levels early, that is why nurses go on to get more education but usually they go on into management or become nurse practitioners to have more autonomy.</p>

<p>Biotech sounds interesting and meets your desire to stay pre med.</p>

<p>Good point, I’ll definitely research Biotech opportunities. </p>

<p>Its good that you mention that a master’s can completely change a career in some respects, how I can get the best out of a BA and still go on to a slightly related yet different field. Of course, it all comes down to how to pay for the Master’s but if its a 2 year program, I’ll pay for it somehow, someway.</p>

<p>Anyway, thank you so much for that. I was beginning to think maybe my plans aren’t as solid but the Biotech idea sounds prominent. I’ll definitely look into it that research later tonight :D.</p>

<p>I’ll keep you updated. By the way, I never mentioned this but my name is Sam, just saying :D.</p>

<p>Thanks for helping me so much!</p>

<p>Just a few things.</p>

<p>You said that you got into Health Administration for your Master’s. Do you like your job as an administrator? Do you have flexibility, power, and good pay? Just wondering :D.</p>

<p>And as far as nursing is concerned, is there anyway that I could just go Biotech to get a job after my BA, and get a nursing certificate after my BA or do you automatically need an associate’s degree or BA to get a nursing position?</p>

<p>So far though, BioTech seems like the greatest possibility to not only get a job after the BA but also to keep going further as MD or go for Master’s in anything I want.</p>

<p>I like the prospects of it but I don’t necessarily want to switch the major just yet. The take the same courses as Pre-Med so I’ll definitely look around and talk to some people in Nursing (aka Dr. Pekala who runs the Pre-Physical Therapy concentration because he’s actually a male nurse on the side) plus the director for Health Administration since he wasn’t available last semester since he was on sabbatical.</p>

<p>But otherwise, I know this sounds stupid, but should I be researching?</p>

<p>I tried looking at job listings for so called Bio-tech careers and some positions looked cool, the research manager positions sounded like the power I would want.</p>

<p>As long as I find a topic that I absolutely love, I could do that job too as long as its not too physically demanding due to my asthma.</p>

<p>Any ideas of any good sites to research BioTech? I tried BLS.gov but they gave slight suggestions for careers such as ecologist, geneticist, etc. Both of which sound interesting and apparently they pay good too.</p>

<p>My tutor for Bio did say Geneticists just crunch numbers all day… Maybe he’s wrong, I have no idea.</p>

<p>I’m signed up for Ecology this semester as a requirement for my science courses and it seems interesting to see the effect of the environment and society. Its weird how that seems interesting these days yet a couple years ago I could care less about the environment…</p>

<p>Anyway, what I’m trying to ask is what should I be researching? Extremely broad question, I know but I still have time this summer to still research. I’m not lazy, its just I hit a slight roadblock on where to go to research the information I need.</p>

<p>To be honest, I don’t really know what exactly encompasses biotechnology so I did a little searching and found 2 links that may help.<br>
[Biotechnology</a>, biotech jobs, careers in biotechnology, Biotechnology Jobs, health biotech, Biotechnology Careers, Biotech Stocks, biotechnology and food processing.](<a href=“http://www.123biotech.com/]Biotechnology”>http://www.123biotech.com/)
shows a side lists a bunch of areas biotech could involve to see where your interest lies.</p>

<p>[Career</a> Profiles Index](<a href=“http://www.accessexcellence.org/RC/CC/CP/]Career”>http://www.accessexcellence.org/RC/CC/CP/)
this link leads you to some interviews of people working in biotech and how they took that career path. </p>

<p>I think to view actual jobs and their requirements you would have to go to Monster.com or yahoojobs. The field seems really broad. From what I could tell, the pharmaceutical industry employs a lot either as CRAs (clinical research associates) or even a pharmaceutical sales. A degree in biotech or nursing would get you either of those type of jobs though they would require advanced specific training, not an additional degree.</p>

<p>You may have to wait until school starts and talk to someone in career guidance if you school has that for more help. </p>

<p>The other idea is to contact someone advertising a job you think in your future you might want and explain to them you aren’t applying but are interested in learning to be that and what do they look for in people they want to hire to help you plan your schooling.</p>

<p>Awesome, I’ll definitely check into these links today. These look way more solid and precise than what I found. As you said before, the field is a bit broad but that’s good to encompass any interest for a particular field I may develop as time goes on.</p>

<p>Thank you so much! I’ll keep you posted how my research goes today :D.</p>

<p>The product manager and both research associate profiles did reveal a bit to me.</p>

<p>It was interesting how most of the people interviewed wanted to be doctors initially but eventually took up positions for a company called Genetech. </p>

<p>The product manager’s position sounded cool. 50% science based work and 50% administrative work so it would give me the sense of power I kind of seek plus be able to be a part of an interesting project or research.</p>

<p>It was cool to also see how these people eventually changed paths to get jobs though the one product manager has a master’s in business administration but all of them pretty much had the necessary lab experience through their B.S. degrees.</p>

<p>Interesting to see that product manager speak her mind about her career though. I like the 50/50 aspect because strictly lab work doesn’t necessarily interest me much. I honestly like the though of networking and working with people for a common goal as a team instead of most people I knew in my science lab classes from last year that wanted to finish the lab as soon as possible and leave any “inexperienced” people out of their group thus creating a small social hierarchy of people who can get it done faster to get the hell out of lab sooner versus people that try their best but can’t get it done that quickly.</p>

<p>That was one of the things I hated. That competitive feeling and vibe I got from some people that down right ignored you if you simply weren’t up to their standards. Yet I clearly showed an interest no matter what for any of the labs we did though the work was strenuous, I easily forced myself to be interested for it was a chance to learn something new which I honestly dig a lot.</p>

<p>Anyway, I’ll keep you updated. Very very cool career insight from that second link. I really liked that, thank you so much for that!</p>

<p>Great! Glad it was helpful. Genentech is a pharmaceutical company that develops ground breaking drugs through genetic research. They are based south of San Francisco.</p>

<p>What you are realizing is that career paths are not set in stone and cannot be too preplanned. You start in your area of interest and as opportunities present themselves you drift there. What is important is to have a solid base with a degree in something that lets you add to it in a field you really are drawn to. Keep up the good research.</p>

<p>I’ve been thinking about doing either research for a respiratory based company or managing one, either one sounds true to my heart as a career.</p>

<p>Definitely would be awesome to nail a position like that after my BA and then go to Japan for a week + start getting my pilot license. That would be sweet honestly.</p>

<p>So maybe a biotech or RT undergrad and health administration or MBA for a masters. Remember, there are all kinds of online ways to get a Masters too if you already have your BA or BS.</p>

<p>Good idea. The only thing I’m worried about switching to BioTech would be the issue of whether or not I could get a recommendation letter from the Pre-Medicine committee in my school. </p>

<p>Should I e-mail my adviser about this? I always fear talking to the pre-med adviser about switching majors because I fear that he might not help me get a recommendation letter for I’m too “hesitant” and unsure of what I want to do in life.</p>

<p>In any case, school is a month and I’m kind of scared.</p>

<p>I’ve been a bit happy alone at home but I’ve been kind of lonely this whole summer. I’ve been trying to keep in touch with this pianist Pieter Verbeke friend of mine but he never calls back when I leave messages on his answering machine and he’s kind of hard to get a hold of.</p>

<p>That aside, he’s an artist based person so I got along with him alright. He’s more real than most people I knew from college and plus I really wanted to be his friend badly.</p>

<p>I got to know people as aquaintances and somewhat friends through college but I never really connected deeply with anyone for I never made any time for them plus I didn’t have a cellphone which made people become taken aback by such a thought.</p>

<p>Anyway, I did get to know a few people through Anime club but I kind of felt like a loser being around them though the one Scott dude was actually quite a normal person and really nice overall.</p>

<p>The only thing that kind of scares me is the roommate I picked this year too. His name’s Matt and he has SLIGHT tourette’s but he’s a nice guy but a bit eccentric too. I kind of honestly fear me being around him for the thought of people thinking I’m weird or a loser or something.</p>

<p>Anyway, I want to make time for friends this year because loneliness is a problem I’ve had for the longest time since I moved during my senior year of high school to a new area and got the short end of the stick when it comes to friends.</p>

<p>I guess I’m afraid to talk to people on the phone sometimes because small talk scares me a bit. I used to think it was fake but I guess its how people relate to each other easily.</p>

<p>Well, I went canoeing with my father and sister and brother yesterday and had a great time but was burnt out from all the paddling and have been depressed since honestly for the whole college story regarding friends.</p>

<p>I’m going to go to the Stage II meeting (aka Drama club) to see if I can help out with theatre stuff this year and I’m going to do Jazz ensemble this year again playing guitar for it was really fun.</p>

<p>I just want to make time for people this year and get to know people. I did get along with Rabeah too but I also never made time that much to hang out because I focused on schoolwork so much.</p>

<p>I guess I suck at balancing time hehe. If you think my current plan is alright, lemme know. I guess I’m just sick of being the lonely pre-med student that tries so much. Half of the time, I used to probably play guitar for four or five hours on the weekends (like on a saturday) so I had time but was too scared to put myself out there sometimes.</p>

<p>Anyway, when I go back, I’ll have a cellphone and I definitely want to hang out with Rabeah more often and Pieter for I think out of all them, they were the most real people I’ve met so far. I’m just scared to ask people to hang out and being rejected because people are busy…</p>

<p>That was a huge rant so forgive me lol.</p>

<p>I think since you said the classes for biotech and premed were mostly the same, you explain to your advisor that since medical school is such a long haul, biotech is your back up. Ask your advisor how this change would affect getting a letter of recommendation and if he has any input about your decision. My understanding is there is a variety of majors people do as undergrads before they apply to medical school.</p>

<p>With summer still a month to go and you feeling restless, maybe doing some volunteer work in a healthcare related area would help fill your day. If you volunteered at a hospital, you could see if someone would show you around the lab or other departments you may be curious about.</p>

<p>When I get back to school, I’m going to volunteer at Pocono Medical Center. </p>

<p>At the moment, the nearest hospital is an hour away and my mom’s car is having problems lately and she can’t really risk going back and forth every week for volunteering although we considered it before.</p>

<p>Anyway, I did think about being a clinical manager for a respiratory clinic yesterday. Sounds cool and I could get an entry level job with my BA but probably need a master’s in health administration. </p>

<p>In any case, things are looking alright at the moment. I feel a bit better about switching to biotech but I definitely want to talk to my adviser in person and not through e-mail about it. He’s a nice guy that really wants to help.</p>

<p>Anyway, I’m gonna research career based stuff again right now too. Thanks so much for the support :D.</p>

<p>I found this one site ExploreHealthCareers and they pretty much go through any possible health career there is.</p>

<p>I found it to be a bit revealing too.</p>

<p>School is about 19 days away and all I can think of is how lonely I am at the moment ha. I did go to my Dad’s house in Brooklyn last week and had a good time but I rarely keep in touch with people, even this one nice friend named Scott sometimes. I’m scared to talk on the phone because I’m too obsessed with guitar, keyboards, internet, Japanese these days to be any interesting to people sometimes.</p>

<p>I’ve been a bit down this whole week honestly but whatever. I’m also a bit scared of having to deal with random people in my lab classes again. For some reason, I always felt like the odd man out without a partner, it really sucked most of the time for that reason.</p>

<p>I guess trying to be positive is one thing but man, I feel so disconnected with people most of the time.</p>