<p>DadII, could our families have been separated at birth? Older D is very driven, straight A's, lots of honors/AP's (too many, actually - she was always sick jr. year), high test scores. S is 2 years younger, good student until his voice dropped and he started to shoot up. Then I swear that as the testosterone came in the brains went out, and although his grades have been good in hs they are nothing like his sister's. Add to that, he has a recently-diagnosed learning difference (visual processing deficit) that makes reading a slow and laborious process, so his test scores won't be anything like his sister's either.</p>
<p>So here's the good news. She left for college this fall and he has come into his own. He still spends lots of time doing things other than homework, but it isn't just computer games any longer. He's becoming quite a good magician (he's actually had some paying gigs), and I can hear real progress in his guitar playing, even though I'm not generally a fan of what he plays, or at least the decibel level. His grades are really coming up too, partly because this year he is only taking honors/AP in the classes that he likes and is good at (Physics, Calc). He's a reliable, trustworthy driver, doesn't drink/do drugs, occasionally helps around the house, and is a really nice human being. </p>
<p>I love my daughter and miss her company, but the house is so serene with her gone. Along with the drive comes the drama, and I don't miss that.</p>
<p>Don't worry about your son, unless, as other posters have said, you have noticed a change in him that might signal depression. I think that you will find that next year he will start to become his own person.</p>
<p>I don't know you or your S, and so it is very difficult for me to give an opinion about whether you're doing the "right thing." Presumably, you know your S best, and your opinion is as good as anyone's. But it is so difficult to know the right balance with our kids, plus they are all so different. For me, D1 struggled, D2 excelled, and the jury's still out on S, so our treatment of each of them was different, as well.</p>
<p>The older I get, the more I believe that we need to help our kids find their own passions, and excel at those, rather than trying to impose our standards of success onto them. After all, when you think about it we all just want our kids to be happy. </p>
<p>My only caveat is you should make sure your son is not becoming addicted to a computer game. I am one of those who posted on the other thread about my S being addicted to World of Warcraft. I eventually terminated the account. He still plays computer games, but not one obsessively. Even he seemed relieved to have the game taken away.</p>
<p>Anyway, good luck....your S sounds like a great kid.</p>
<p>I missed Serithin's post - my younger son constantly amazes his history teacher by his historical knowledge. Half of it came from playing Civilization 4 and other history based computer games. My older son claims he got 2nd place in the school in the Geography Contest because of computer games and fantasy. He got involved in programming a very popular mod for Civ 4. (It even got reviewed in a Gaming Magazine.)</p>
<p>Not that both of them didn't also waste a lot of time on games as well!</p>
<p>mathmom,
My history/geography loving DS2 also came in 2nd at Geobee based on the history-based computer games. He's full of that wonderful trivia I love (and tend to gather myself). He finds it very helpful in his history/social science classes. </p>
<p>For DS1, Logical Journey of the Zoombinis served much the same function when he was young, only in math. DS2 converted him to the history games, too, though.</p>
<p>When my son was in 4th grade we went to England and visited the Tower of London. He knew the name of every medieval weapon in the museum there, plus how it was used, and probably how many points it was worth, and he announced all this at top voice to everyone in earshot. He had learned it all from playing Diablo II with Dad. Then we visited the Imperial War Museum (it was part of a book report he had to do as a consequence of missing school), and the two of them compared the features of every tank on display, and actually kicked a few tires, I believe. Well, who am I to say what knowledge has value?</p>