<p>We are from Southern California and my daughter (youngest of 2) had pretty much decided 85% on a back east school. Last night when I popped in to say good night, I find her crying in front of her computer. She was chatting with a good friend (male) who graduated from her HS last year and went to NY for school. Basically, their conversation has put SERIOUS doubts in her mind. Now she is re-thinking her back east school with the urban campus, and thinks she might prefer a school a 2 hour flight away with a traditional campus, which was neck and neck with the back east school until 2 weeks ago...</p>
<p>I have been urging her to talk to as many people from both schools as she can. I also told her to stop stressing about making a decision by April 1st. She is worried if she doesn't deposit right away, that she will get stuck in the worst housing.....</p>
<p>Any advice/input???</p>
<p>I have stayed neutral on her choices as I didn't want the decision in my court. Personally, I think she would be happy at either school, but would have a VASTLY different experience
at each.</p>
<p>I think you’re right that she still has time to decide. This is a tough choice. Have you discussed how often she will be able to come home if she picks the school in the east? Can she fly out for an accepted student’s program to test things out? Plenty of kids do fine going to schools far from home, but others have a tough time. A lot of kids in my area have transferred because they didn’t like the distance and travel difficulties.</p>
<p>A lot depends on your daughter’s level of independence and readiness to leave home. If she is still on the fence in a few weeks, it’s probably safer to choose the closer school. Good luck with the decision.</p>
<p>KeeterMom’s post reminds me of a related question. </p>
<p>My S talks a lot about having to make up his mind fast so as to get the best housing and roommate. Anybody out there know if this is really the case or just a tactic the colleges use to get students locked in early? I’d love to know if his concern is valid, especially since we won’t have all the Fin Aid awards right away.</p>
<p>Any thoughts about this are very appreciated. Thanks.</p>
<p>There are schools out there where a large chunk of the incoming freshmen have already selected their rooms for next year. Depositing early can definitely make a big difference at some schools. You need to look into how it works at the schools you’re deciding among. Some will let you put down a housing deposit without accepting your offer, some won’t.</p>
<p>Especially at large state schools, an early housing deposit can be key. I remember we put down some housing deposits for D1, some refundable, some not, before she made her decisions. These were NOT the same as deposits for enrollment.</p>
<p>How much is her housing deposit, and can you get it back if you deposit now and change your mind? Is it worth it for the piece of mind, to put down the housing deposit, even if you’ll lose it, and let her wait until May 1 to <em>really</em> decide?</p>
<p>keetermom, have her put the deposits in NOW. I have found that kids who were SOOOO sure that they wanted to go to college far, far away often decide, for many reasons, to stay closer to home, when push comes to shove. Happened to my son and it was all for the best.</p>
<p>Yes, there are schools where you had better pay the room deposit if there is a chance the kid will go there, or the chances are good that he will be living in Outer Siberia. That, or a triple. Itt happened with two of my kids. I am so glad this is not the case with any schools my son is considering this time around.</p>
<p>My experiences with my daughter going to school “back east”:</p>
<p>We live in SoCal and she goes to school in Massachusetts. When reviewing the schools she was accepted to (some local, some not), she had a hard time deciding. It came down to a UCSB and WPI. WPI is a small school but far away, UCSB is a large school about an hours drive from us. Given her personality, the smaller school was the obvious choice but the distance to WPI was giving her some serious doubt. She finally decided to go with the school that she felt she would do the best at. </p>
<p>She was pretty comfortable with the decision until about a day and a half before she was to move in (and we had already been in MA for a few days). She broke down crying and said she made the wrong choice, how could she think she could live so far away, etc. etc. She calmed down and we loaded the van with all her stuff on move in day. She finally broke a smile when she met her roommates (she is in a triple) and hasn’t stopped smiling yet. She loves it and has grown up so much in the last few months (she is a freshman this year). She, along with 2 friends, have rented an off campus apartment for next year and is looking forward to being even a little more freedom and responsibility that that will bring.</p>
<p>IMHO, whether you’re an hour away or several hours away, by plane or by car; you’re still “away”. You will make new friends, have a lot of different adventures and learn to be a responsible adult. Choose the school that you think you will succeed at the best and go for it.</p>
<p>"keetermom, have her put the deposits in NOW. I have found that kids who were SOOOO sure that they wanted to go to college far, far away often decide, for many reasons, to stay closer to home, when push comes to shove. Happened to my son and it was all for the best. "</p>
<p>So are you saying I should put the non-refundable deposits at her 2 top schools?</p>
<p>My $0.02–you all still have over a month to decide. If she’s this torn she needs more time. I would never be pressured into depositing anywhere this early if we weren’t all very comfortable with the decision.</p>
<p>Is re-visiting an option? Sometimes a 2nd (3rd?) visit, particularly with an overnight, can elucidate the differences between the two schools.</p>
<p>We actually thought about re-visiting in April, but she thought we shouldn’t spend the money (we have been to 6 states in the last 2 months!). She knows she loves the school already, and she didn’t feel a 2nd visit would help her decide if it’s too far away, etc…</p>
<p>It would be cheaper to deposit at 2 top schools and lose 1 deposit then to make the trip to Boston again!</p>
<p>Depends on your risk tolerance. We didn’t make ANY deposits until we were SURE that S would be attending said school and THEN we made the housing deposit. We were not in a position that losing $500 or so was tenable. S still got his 1st choice in housing or would have been satisfied with whatever campus housing he received. He recognized this was a drawback of not deciding but he wanted to be sure he got all the info he needed to make a choice he was happy with–those who have a NEED to have a certain housing assignment and have the extra funds to make multiple housing deposits can decide differently. but taht was our family’s logic.</p>
<p>I don’t see why it matters what sex the child is–kids are young and they have self-doubts and don’t know what they want. At some point, the parents & kid need to make a decision. As long as the U promises housing for the student, I see no good reason to deposit early if the kid is still undecided. Our family doesn’t have funds to hedge all our bets, especially when we are guaranteed to lose at least one by placing housing deposits at two different Us.</p>
<p>I have a S & a D–both have had times of confusion and self-doubt. It’s part of the growing process and partly personality of each kid. If there is adequate housing, I see no point in depositing before the student has clarified what s/he wants to do. Of course, others had different opinions, which is why life is so interesting.</p>