Is this Essay Powerful Enough to win an ESA Scholarship?

<p>Hello,</p>

<p>I'm currently applying for the ESA scholarships (which are due tomorrow), but I've just finished this essay. Will anyone care to give it a quick read and give some comments? Although I would like to avoid 09ers applying for scholarships, anyone is welcome to read as long as they can do it by today or tomorrow. </p>

<p>Thanks,</p>

<p>Forti</p>

<p>Bump. I know this may be in the wrong forum, but will anyone spend a few minutes to read? I'll appreciate it!</p>