<p>I've just finished writing my optional essay for the Harvard supplement. However, I'm not sure if it's good enough for submission and I don't want to subject the admissions officers to a pointless essay. Could someone take a look at it and give me some feedback? Thanks a lot. </p>
<pre><code>For me, all of the typical factors play a role in my decision to apply to Harvard. Of course I would love to learn under world-class professors and engage with brilliant students. Of course I would love to go to school in such a vibrant and historical city, as Boston is. However, there is another reason why I am applying, one that not many students share: I want to write for The Harvard Lampoon.
In recent years, comedy has become something of a passion of mine. I have always enjoyed making people laugh, but in the past couple of years, I have sought to turn this casual hobby into something more structured. To this end, I have taken numerous steps to advance my understanding of humor and comedy writing as a whole. For example, as part of the senior project required by my school, I chose to write a full-length comedic screenplay, coupled with a research paper that analyzed Hollywood producer Judd Apatow's impact on American comedy. In addition, I have tried my hand at a bit a stand-up comedy, and even enrolled in a three-week summer program at Brown University that dealt with screenwriting. Clearly, comedy is something that I am beginning to take quite seriously.
That is why the opportunity to write for The Harvard Lampoon is so intriguing for me. Early in my senior year, one of my teachers, noticing my budding comedic skills, suggested that I research the Lampoon, saying that it was a publication that I might find interesting. After reading some Lampoon content online, I was immediately struck by it. Of course, I didn't get all of the humor; some of it went right over my head. However, a great deal of the material was quite funny, and it was in this moment that my decision to apply to Harvard was solidified. The Lampoon was something that I wanted to be a part of.
I feel that writing for The Harvard Lampoon would give me a distinctive edge in breaking into the world of comedy. After all, numerous Lampoon writers have gone on to write for comedic films and television programs. Furthermore, the Lampoon has quite a storied history, and the opportunity to write in the same place where comedy stars such as Conan O'Brien and B.J. Novak honed their craft would be an incredible experience for me.
Granted, the main reason why I am applying to Harvard is to earn a degree in political science from one of the finest colleges in the world. But it would be hard for me to deny the fact that the prospect of honing my comedic skills at one of the world's longest-running humor magazines is one that I find intriguing. And while politics is certainly a passion for me, comedy is right alongside it, and if I have any chance at all of succeeding as a comedian, I want to pursue it. I feel that writing for The Harvard Lampoon would give me that chance.
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<p>It’s okay but the introduction and the conclusion are very pedestrian. I would leave out stuff like “finest colleges in the world” and the like, because they know that already. The topic is good but you need to express it in ways that are not just “I am this…I want to this…I want to do it at…”. Make it fresh and let your voice show.</p>
<p>As it is now, I probably wouldn’t submit it, but it can become very good.</p>
<p>Your essay is very very interesting and it is definitely worth submitting, IMO ;-). What I would suggest is to delve right into your passion of the “comedic arts”; for instance, give us an overview of how this particular passion has started, how it has grown, and how you intend to utilize it (exhibit A: the Harvard Lampoon). You can truncate your introductory paragraph a tad bit because this is your time to shine! Let those admission officers know about the person (you) instead of Boston or the other brilliant students.</p>
<p>^Yes, I agree that it is more of an “Additional Info” box type of piece. If you were to submit a supplement essay, I would focus on your comedy rather than speaking of Harvard directly. Focus on yourself.</p>
<p>You know, I’ve always thought there was a reason why Harvard never asks you “Why harvard?” It’s coz it’s Harvard. It knows that there really isn’t any unique reason that makes people apply other than the fact that it’s harvard. It doesn’t need any kind of ego boost.</p>
<p>I think Harvard wants to know “Why YOU?” Why should, out of all the amazing applicants, you be granted admission. So you talking about the Harvard Lampoon isn’t that interesting. Lots of colleges have humor publications (some quite a bit funnier). What is interesting is your interesting is your passion for comedy+screenwriting. That might make a pretty awesome essay.</p>
<p>Btw, my supplement for harvard was about how douglas adams is the greatest philosopher of our generation. So don’t be all serious - show your humor</p>
<p>I would not submit this without a huge amount of editing. Reading this, it is hard to believe you have an comedic talent. I am being honest, sorry.</p>
<p>Take out all the groveling stuff about Harvard. Omit the entire first paragaraph, and most of the last. Just write something short, indicating that you have an interest in comedic writing, maybe a little info on how you have been developing that interest, and a last sentence saying that you would be excited to work on the Lampoon.</p>
<p>This is supposed to be a place where you can tell them something that they don’t know about you after reading the rest of the application. Write it in the same way that you would tell someone about this interest, in a matter of fact and bare bones sort of way.</p>
<p>So I incorporated some of the critiques that I have received on this thread, and I have made some major revisions. Would anyone (preferably someone who is either not applying to Harvard or who has already applied) care to take a look? I’ll PM it to you.</p>