<p>I just finished my college essay. It's about a 12 year old girl with a disability and lives in a poor community. We met at a clinic where my mom volunteers, and we became friends. she underwent operations and i visited her afterwards. But after some time we lost touch for she had to move to another place. My last paragraph talks about how i realized how fortunate I was, and how meeting her has influenced my dream of becoming a doctor.
So, what do you think? I know the grammar, structure and style is good enough, but is my subject matter too boring and cliche? Does it sound like one of those college essays about visiting a poor area and realizing how fortunate they are? Should I make a new one?</p>
<p>I agree that if you show passion your essay could be nice, but I think that if your not careful, your essay might be cliche, maybe you could go a step forward and say something about realizing how forchunate you are made you change the way you live?</p>
<p>Yep. It’s always the way you write. That’s the point of the essay, anyway. If you write passionately about it will work. If you are just writing this just to write then it will come off cliche. The main thing is that this is a true story. As such, there is some sort of passion behind it and you have to let that passion shine through.</p>
<p>It could be cliche but as the others said, it’s all in the writing. Maybe you could focus on one specific moment between you two instead of retelling the whole relationship and what you learned from it?</p>