is unhappy SOCIALLY a reason to transfer

<p>Hey guys...I'm at Duke too and I have no friends. Sucks...doesn't it? College Confidential Dukies apparently aren't faring too well.</p>

<p>So anyway, time for me to elaborate with my story. I'm such an introverted person and it's so hard for people, including my parents to understand that it's my WORST fear to have to put myself in these situations so i'm pushing myself and pushing myself, but it's so hard. Everyone in my dorm (yeah, pretty much the entire hall) is all party, and I love to go out and have fun, but I'm not into the drinking/frat party scene. It's so frustrating to me to sit in my dorm on weekend nights and want to hang out with people but realize that I literally have no one. And then I'm just sitting digging myself into an even deeper hole because I just call my parents/friends and breakdown every weekend night.</p>

<p>My roommate and I just don't relate at all. She's nice and all, but she just does homework all the time, and if you ask her to go out she's generally not interested. I thought I had a friendship with 1 girl that I'd talked to for awhile, but now that she knows I'm not a binge drinker like her she's turned super-mean. As in we had a nice deep conversation where I bared my soul about my social problems and just tonight we talked in person and I was under the impression we were going to go to Shooters, but she's ignoring my calls. Girls are mean. </p>

<p>It's like, I'm a really nice person, but people are getting the impression that I'm just like my roommate, because I cling to her so much (ie dinner) despite the fact that we're in different places socially. I don't make it easy for myself to make friends, but I feel like I'm not 100% the culprit. </p>

<p>Transferring just really isn't an option because I worked so hard to be here and want nothing more than to spend everyday at Duke, but it's hard to be here sometimes.</p>

<p>Yeah, well as I said before in this thread, I'm feeling the same way here at Duke to some degree. I'm a sophomore, but I'm also a really nice person and not a partier! feel free to PM me... :) you're not alone</p>

<p>Perhaps what you people need is a change of atmosphere. Switching from Dartmouth to another ivy league school isn't going to change that. Switching from Georgetown to Cornell isn't going to do that either. What you need to take into consideration is the SIZE of the college.</p>

<p>I recommend you try switching into smaller sized colleges. For example, you could try switching into a place like Swarthmore, or Brandeis. I find that in a smaller college, the social scene is much easier to take advantage of because of the close knit community. I myself have transferred from a big school to a smaller sized college and I'm so much happier here.</p>

<p>
[quote]
It's so frustrating to me to sit in my dorm on weekend nights and want to hang out with people but realize that I literally have no one.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I hang out with people who aren't into the frat/drinking scene on weekends so they're out there. :) We do silly things like salsa dancing and taking an international student to Wal-Mart because she had never been to one before.</p>

<p>But yeah, I understand what you mean. Which dorm you're in seems to have an impact on your social life...I have to make extensive use of my cell phone to get around it. I'm actually ok with the people in my dorm though; my problem is more that I never latched onto one particular clique, so I'm not always sure of who I'll be going out and/or eating dinner with.</p>

<p>we should all hang out:)</p>

<p>I am just curious. Did you guys try to meet people on facebook before you arrived at school. My son met tons of great people before he arrived. He is at Duke and loving it. When we moved him in, he already knew alot of kids in his dorm.</p>

<p>Oh yes. I talked to a lot of people through facebook/myspace and whatnot, including my roommate and the above-mentioned girl, and we all thought we'd get along great. Of course, people translate differently in real life. We all didn't really get along.</p>

<p>I have friends at Duke.. but i just dont HANG OUT with them on weekends. And I have some friends I do hang out with but usually that ends up being the most boring weekend ever. I feel like its too late to actually get in the social loop and hang out with these people that DO have fun on weekends... and Im a sophomore - thats why I say its too late.</p>

<p>yeah, i'm also a sophomore at duke and I'm in pretty much the same situation. i don't think it's too late... i mean if there are still people like us out there...</p>

<p>Read my post on the Duke 2009 board. :D</p>

<p>I haven't read much of this board, but I'm also a freshman at Duke, and I just filled out much of a transfer app to Berkeley. I don't like the social scene at Duke so much, but my boyfriend IS at Berkeley, and I COULD graduate a year early if I were there, so...meh. I guess I can never be truly passionate about Duke, since my mom sort of forced me to go here, and since my boyfriend is quite far away.</p>

<p>ehh i'm transferring OUT of berkeley (financial reasons)</p>

<p>the grass is always greener on the other side isn't it?</p>

<p>Haha...yeah, I'm getting PAID to go to Duke this year. Duke was actually cheaper than Berkeley--isn't that crazy?</p>

<p>And I don't mind Duke at all. I actually meant to say in the last post that "I don't mind the social scene" (sorry--I wrote that at almost 5 AM) here too much at all. I really like it here, actually. I just have reasons to leave it behind. Is it just for financial reasons that you're transferring? My friend who's a sophomore wants to do the same thing...he finally decided it was too big for him.</p>

<p>fuzzy penguins, </p>

<p>do you play a sport at Duke (varsity)? Is that how you got the sweet scholarship deal to Duke?</p>

<p>wow...i thought Duke was some type of happy place...i guess not.</p>

<p>It is!!!!!!! I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.</p>

<p>Hey, i'm a freshman at William and Mary and have been going through the same things you guys have. Except my gripe is that there isn't enough to do on the weekends in terms of drinking. Also, I am out-of-state, and since this is a public school, almost EVERYONE is from Virginia, and many people know other students from high school. I also miss my girlfriend very much, she is still in high school back in Massachusetts, where I'm from. I'm worried that W&M's repututation is not that great in the North, which is where I want to live. I'm also afraid that it will be hard for me to get into graduate school because of W&M's grade deflation. I am in a couple clubs which I love. I'm considering transferring to Tufts. Any suggestions for me?</p>

<p>no not just financial reasons. i'm a film studies major and the major here is lame. it is too theoretical and very limited in its resources. and i'm out of state and its too expensive. and the education is too impersonal. i would benefit from a smaler more personal atmosphere. i know i should have thought these things out more carefully before, i kinda got sucked into the whole prestige thing. but i've learned my lesson .. the hard way;]</p>

<p>UC Berk dude, where ru from? I have a persoanl friend from new york who is in the engineering program there</p>

<p>i'm from texas, in l&s though not engineering. thank goodness ;]</p>