<p>[deleted]</p>
<p>"My niece and her friends were all top tier students. They were looking at Notre Dame, BC, Georgetown, Brown, and Duke. My niece told her Dad that was where all her friends were going. Well, they were all accepted to those schools but instead ended up at Scranton, Delaware, St. Joeās, Temple, and Pitt Honors College. "</p>
<p>This happens a lot. Thereās a lot of ālunch table talkā and kids are saying, āIām going to (impressive school).ā Then the FA pkgs arenāt what were expected, and many/most end up elsewhere. </p>
<p>Very sad that your nieceās parents didnāt insist on some āParent Pickā applications. $80k in loans? I hope the parents take some of those on since theyāre also responsible for that nonsense. Someone has to be the adult when naive young people are begging for something that isnāt needed or is unreasonable.</p>
<p>I had a similar decision with my son, for biomedical engineering at Johns Hopkins, and I told him I was not willing to take out at least 80K in loans and I wasnāt willing to let āhimā (as we know, itās really the parentās debt) take on that much debt either. Iād let him go there for 2 summers, and they are number one I the rankings for his desired major. He wound up not even applying, and he is very happily attending another school now. I believe she will get over the ānoā now much quicker than sheāll get over having that huge debt over her head. Itās sad, yes, but itās definitely a first world problem. You want her to be happy, yes, but think about happy now vs. happy later too. </p>
<p>"Itās just ashamed to wait and see if you get in, the letter arrives before Christmas the next letter says āwelcome to Honorsā¦ and then the BIG let down of Zero money.ā</p>
<p>Was this an EA admission?</p>
<p>Yes, it is very sad when thereās the big gap between acceptance and aid is known. once an acceptance to a top choice is recād, the student naturally thinks, āIām going.ā </p>
<p>Sounds like she wants a Catholic univ. Does anyone here know some that still have upcoming deadlines that will give merit? Any Jesuits? Xavier? Duquesne? UDayton? Springhill? </p>
<p>Not a Catholic, but a fine schoolā¦DePauw</p>
<p>āWe plan on helping her the same amount as we did our son (Drexel) but is it worth itā¦ā</p>
<p>how much will you pay each year? </p>
<p>Is the total of what youād pay plus a fed student loan $5500 enough to pay for a state school? What is your home state? </p>
<p>What are her stats? Test scores? GPA?</p>
<p>Updateā¦ Well, after dinner we had the talk, the āIs Villanova worth itā talkā¦I explained the housing issue, I explained the debt, interest, degree, major, job prospect etcā¦ I left nothing out. She listened to every word, said nothing; looked at me as if I gave her puppy away (if we had a puppy) the whole timeā¦ I hated myself for doing this, bursting her bubble. She worked so hard, for years she took AP classes, ran a Relay For Life team the last three years in a row, community service because she wanted to, scored 2200 SAT;s, class rank 35/468. NHS etcā¦ I feel like crap, but I know deep down she will be better off without the debt, maybe someday she will realize this. She asked if I was done, said she will not be happy at another school and went to her room cryingā¦of coarse I followed, but to no avail, she just cried in her room and there was nothing I could do about it. I started to think about tapping my 401K to make her dream come true, but I know the realities of doing that. My wife however gave me the lookā¦as if āwhy did you have to do thatā? look! I know this does not make any sense at all, I know she should pick a school that has rewarded her hard work and not have to pay full price to be happy.</p>
<p>Iāll keep you in my thoughts that this all comes to a happy conclusion in time. Iām so sorry this is so difficult.</p>
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<p>Her parents were newly divorced and my brother in law hadnāt seen the divorce coming and he was reeling. I donāt know which of the two parents co-signed the loans, but my brother in law is determined that their other daughter not follow the same path. He will be making sure there are several financial safeties on that daughterās list.</p>
<p>As far as my nieceās friends go, I would be surprised if too many of them even applied for financial aid. I donāt know. However, the girls all got lots of merit money at their less prestigious choices. One of the reasons my niece is bummed is because of all those friends, only one other will be graduating with loans. And theyāll be in the $12k range - her parents believed their daughter needed some skin in the game.</p>
<p>It sounds to me like the OP is in the King of Prussia, Pennsylvania area, which is not far from me. The best bet for a teaching degree among nearby schools is West Chester University. Itās a state school. The only down side is it is definitely a regional school. If the student would like to live elsewhere after graduation, St. Joeās and Catholic may be better options. Although they will cost more, it seems to me they have at least some name recognition outside the Delaware Valley. I donāt know if West CHester has rolling admissions ( I think it does) but if she could get into VIllanova Honors, she can definitely get into West Chester and would likely get some scholarship money.</p>
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<p>Iām so sorry. However, I do think sheāll soon be able to find solace in a misery loves company sort of way. As the acceptances and scholarships start rolling in, sheāll surely have some friends who will be going to less prestigious schools than they imagined.</p>
<p>Donāt tap your 401k Dad. I know it must be so hard to say no to your hard working, wonderful daughter. Let her cry it out - we all can put ourselves in her place and can feel the disappointment. Reality just sucks. She heard you out. Sheās a smart kid and deep down, she knows your right. Sheās just got to mourn the loss and begin picturing herself happy somewhere else. Definitely donāt go to the accepted students day, it just wouldnāt be right to let her get her hopes up. Itāll be time to move on. </p>
<p>OP, would your daughter be willing to go outside of the Philadelphia/ mid-Atlantic area? I ask because there are a number of LACs and public flagships which have 2/15 deadlines or later. Many of the schools Iām thinking of are far stronger than Widener and likely Westchester (donāt really know much about the school) </p>
<p>I have a very good friend who sometimes puts things into gallows humorā¦no disrespect intended to the OP or anyone else having to deal with this decision ā¦the the response that comes to mind is āWe (parents) are leading our financial lives so that when the time comes you will not have our hospital bed in your living room. Sometimes that means you canāt have what you want today so that you wonāt have to deal with what you really donāt want tomorrowā.</p>
<p>As another education major here, I would also like to affirm what the previous posters said. Education majors, sadly, do not make enough money to justify large loans for Villanova diploma. Iām sorry she was so upset when you spoke to her. If it makes you feel any better, if she decides to take out an abundance of loans (I would consider $240,000-$300,000 an abundance), sheāll be crying a lot harder when the banks, cell phone companies, electric, etc speak to her - except they wonāt be as compassionate as you. I graduated way back in 1984 and couldnāt afford to leave my parentsā home after I started teaching - at which point, I am certain my parents were the ones crying! I LOVED my job, but I was miserable because I couldnāt afford car repairs, gas, and most definitely I was left out of vacations my friends were able to take. I became miserable in spite of my love for the job. If she really wants to go to Villanova, perhaps she could think of a different major that would be a bit more lucrative. If your daughter does as bopper suggested, I would think she is intelligent enough to realize that either the major or the school must change - unless she wants to live at home with you. 
I sincerely wish her the best, as our society certainly needs great teachers, so I hope that if this is what she wants to do, that she is able to pursue this career path. I just think in the long run the financial strain will make her absolutely miserable.</p>
<p>Someone mentioned this before, but what if you call Villanova and discuss optionsā¦let them know of the merit she received at other colleges and see if there is anything they can give/do?</p>
<p>We have some of the same problem for Villanovaā¦D applied but we know she probably wont be getting anything (if she gets inā¦deferred at the moment). It just seems extremely expensive to not even have decent housing ā¦plus they have to move off campus (I heard) junior and senior year. As it is, we will be scraping for money to pay for cheaper colleges and D will be taking out some loans, so even though VU is cool, I dont see the benefit of going into that much debt.</p>
<p>Is it worth it? Yes, if you can afford to give it to her. SHE cannot borrow that kind of money. Someone would have to borrow with or for her. If you are not in position to do so, then you canāt afford the school.</p>
<p>I felt the same way with my kids. We had a limit, we told them what it was. They still applied to schools that cost more than that, and some did come up with enough money to swing it; some did not. I was very, very lucky in that my guys just took the schools that were too expensive off the table without blinking an eye, giving it a thought. Just like they were denials. I am very thankful they spared me the agony of having to try to talk them out of it and then just saying we were not going to pay or cosign loans for them. Frankly, I donāt know what I would have done if my sons had so wanted such schools. My one son was turned down by Villanova, by the way,; though it was not a first choice school for him. But he was accepted to Holy Cross where a number of classmates were going, and itās a school that is held in high prestige and esteem at his high school, but he just put it right out of consideration just as he did with the Villanova denial.</p>
<p>But it still hurt. </p>
<p>My son actually put his nose up at some of his options that now, a few years older and wiser, he realizes and has outright said he had the wrong attitude. A number of his peers are commuting to school, many from well to do families, and they are doing well, having a great life and itās not such a big deal after all. Time and maturity has given him that perspective. His best friend is having a terrible time, as are his parents, with him going to his dream school that has turned out to be unaffordable. They are living the reality of not being able to make ends meet, and having to cut back and having to watch money a lot closer than they ever did, a very stressful difficult lesson. Plus going to that school with peers that can well afford it, as well as so many who are in this area who can enjoy it makes one feel pooer than ever. My son was home for the holidays, got tickets for a venue, and his friendās first response was that he could not afford to go. He canāt afford much of anything these days, and itās a grim situation. He says right out itās not worth the stress itās causing his parents, siblings and him. The dream school turned into a nightmare.</p>
<p>Do not tap your 401k</p>
<p>"said she will not be happy at another school "</p>
<p>She feels this way NOW. Unless sheās irrationally stubborn, that wonāt be true. I think sheāll come around, but if she doesnāt, then tell her thereās no point in her going anywhere until she can accept reality and go to college with the right attitude. That may shock her into reality. lol</p>
<p>MORE IMPORTANTLYā¦she will not be happy with that much debt. She really has no idea how that much debt RUINS a personās life.</p>
<p>How much are you willing to spend each year? </p>
<p>Is she going to contact Nova with her other offers and see if they can offer something?<br>
If you do, be sure to be polite and indicate that she will enroll if at least XX per year could be offered. </p>
<p>What is her Math + CR SAT? You would have thought that Nova would have offered something.</p>
<p>Would you please tell her that there are kids w perfect ACTs, perfect SATs, NMF, etc who are also in her same boat. Wonderfully accomplished kids who will be going to schools they can afford and not their first choice school. She is not alone by any means. And frankly, making a wise financial decision is more prestigious in my eyes than going to an expensive school. </p>
<p>Several people have suggested contacting Nova about the award. Itās certainly worth asking, but when we did our tour the admissions officers were VERY clear that Nova was not concerned about meeting EFC or making the school affordable. I didnāt like the way the Nova offer was put together - of all the packaged D received, I felt this was the most misleading about where all the money was expected to come from. They wanted to paint a rosy picture and LOOK affordable when they were actually expecting a family contribution FAR about what our EFC came out to (not that we could afford EFC anyway).</p>
<p>I agree with everything thatās been said ā I just wanted to add that sheās a teenager, and IMHO she should be allowed to be mopey and whiny (or defensive and grouchy) for a while over this disappointment. If she handles it well from the start, wonderful, but if she doesnāt, you know, sheās young, and itās a big deal to her. I donāt think you have to be a spoiled brat to do some crying and mourning. </p>
<p>That said, I think attending admitted studentsā day when you canāt afford to attend is kind of cruel and unusual. Iād encourage her not to go.</p>
<p>Great point Hanna. To her, right NOW, it is a huge disappointment and ālife is very unfair.ā I remember seeing lists of schools that had some openings well into summer last year, and it included colleges I didnāt expect to be on the list. If you are looking for other suggestions for schools, what about St. Maryās in MD? Itās not catholic but itās a small liberal arts kind of school. It looks like Loyolaās admission dates have passed, but it doesnāt hurt to call them. Good luck. I know we are typically as happy as our least happy child.</p>