Is/was anyone else disillusioned by their first taste of college?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I went to 8 different colleges for undergrad and grad school, all the way from Hawaii to Scotland. Lived in dorms at 5 of them. I’ve taught at 4 different colleges. So I’ve seen and experienced just about all of the emotions mentioned here. Here are some conclusions based on my own experiences and the posts here:</p>

<p>Note that very few of the unhappy posters here attend small liberal arts colleges. Maybe because it’s much easier to meet people and get academic coaching in a small setting?</p>

<p>Meeting people as a commuter is very difficult.</p>

<p>Most people meet their best friends in dorms and in clubs. If you’re having trouble meeting people who are interested in the same things you are, join one or two clubs.</p>

<p>Stereotypes are often at least a bit accurate. If you go looking for quiet intellectuals at a school known for sports fanatics and parties, it’s possible you’ll find them, but be aware you are swimming against the tide. Likewise if you are looking for some exciting nightlife–beware of schools in the middle of nowhere; if you want a rah-rah atmosphere, avoid schools with smalltime sports, etc. It’s obvious, but so many students don’t follow these simple guidelines.</p>

<p>Sad but true: it IS all about getting grades and a diploma. If your goal is simply to learn, go to a public library and read 8 hours per day. If you want to get along in college, stow the idealism, and accept the fact that you might have to do a bunch of stuff that’s a waste of time, you might have to write a paper supporting a position only because your professor supports it, and you might have to configure your schedule and study habits to maximize grades rather than learning.</p>

<p>If your undergrad grades aren’t great, there are still a lot ways to get into a great grad school: re-take some of the courses in which you did poorly; apply to grad programs as a part-time or night student (admissions rqmts sometimes easier); go for a second bachelor’s degree at a less-difficult college to get a gaudy gpa; get a master’s degree at whatever school you can get into, then try for another master’s or doctorate at a top school; etc. etc.</p>

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<p>I think anyone who gives the law one look and says, well, it’s the law, so it MUST be right, has a huge problem with their world view. The law does not define what is right and what is wrong. The law DOES NOT DEFINE what is responsible and irresponsible. It merely determines what is legal and what is illegal. Murder is against the law. Does that mean shooting a man out of self-defense to protect your two children is irresponsible? Racial discrimination was, and in some circles still IS, the law. Does that make it RIGHT? Does that make it RESPONSIBLE? What is the magical difference between 20 and 360 days and 21 and 5 days? Nothing but the law.</p>

<p>Think responsibly.</p>

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<p>Nowhere in America would that be either self-defense or illegal. I get what you’re saying that.</p>

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<p>Yes. Law =/ What is correct.</p>

<p>Apparently, marijuana really isn’t all that bad for you. So why is it illegal if potentially worse things, such as alcohol, are legal? Most likely, it’s just because of a quirk in the system. Or gay marriage. There’s not a single good reason out there to justify it’s illegal status, but here we are.</p>

<p>Drugs/alcohol is a topic that should be left for each individual to decide on their own. It’s dangerous to issue a blanket statement dictating those subjects for all freshman, whether it’s something like “everyone should try it” or something more like “avoid it like the plague!”</p>

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<p>By the time you get used to college, have friends, get the good classes and are enjoying yourself…it’s time to graduate!!</p>

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<p>The moral of this thread is to do your best to find a college whose atmosphere reflects your own morals, needs, wants, and ambitions. For most people, the hard part will be honestly deciphering their own personality; finding a college to match can’t be too hard.</p>

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<p>I think that suggesting that people do drugs or drink because “they’re in college!” or simply because they can is one of the dumbest things I have read on here. I know people who want to transfer, and I’d say that they fall into three categories: those that find college too difficult, those that find Georgetown is not a good fit, and those that pushed themselves to fit in. Drugs aren’t only bad because they’re illegal - they’re illegal for a reason, and I could never be swayed by any argument saying that doing them is a constructive use of time or a good way to enjoy college…I know it is for some, but it’s hardly good advice. I don’t drink and most of my friends do, but it’s stupid to push something like that onto someone.</p>

<p>Needless to say, I agree with advice to go into the common room and to join clubs. I’m on the board for a club here, and the people were all surprisingly a good fit with my personality. I was lucky to make some good friends in my classes, but in general it is just good to be social and talk to people who talk to you. I’ve definitely had to miss things people have invited me to, but it is good to invite them to something so they don’t feel like you’re boring.</p>

<p>I can’t deny that half of my floor is extremely annoying, stupid, and cliquey, but the other people are pretty cool. Even if your college isn’t a good fit, there’s bound to be someone like you. I am not the typical Georgetown student, but I was surprised to see how many people are not bros or ditzes outside of my floor.</p>

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<p>@sdr how are you liking the good ol’ District?</p>

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<p>My beginning of college, not a full first semester, had ups and downs. The big down was a personal thing, a family emergency that meant I had to leave halfway through my semester, but I’m going back to the same school, for better or for worse, for the spring semester.</p>

<p>Socially, I made friends, lots of casual friends and a couple of good ones. I like the people I’ve met, and though there have been times I felt lonely and just missed my high school best friends, mostly, I’m good socially. And, I don’t drink or do drugs, but I hang out with a definite party crowd. They all drink, some of them also smoke weed a little more than occasionally. This is similar to my high school experience, though, I’m used to being the only sober one at the party. Which isn’t always the greatest, but my school kind of lacks moderation–there are two types of people, those who party a lot, and those who never leave their rooms because they’re always studying. While I don’t fit in perfectly, I definitely fit in a lot better with the first crowd, because I do like to have fun. </p>

<p>My roommate and I were cordial, friendly, but never friends, we didn’t see each other much. Works for me; we didn’t fight or anything.</p>

<p>My background, socioeconomics I guess, is very different from most of my fellow students, which is occasionally awkward, and was especially so at first, but talking to some of my friends about it, I realized it’s a good thing–it gives me a broader perspective on the world. Still, there are moments I definitely feel out of place.</p>

<p>I was very, very far from home, and I was most certainly homesick sometimes. I missed my hometown, my family, my friends. And I will again, when I go back in the spring. That part really sucks.</p>

<p>Academically, I go to a small school without much choice or variety of classes. In retrospect, that was not a great decision. I should have chosen a bigger school where I could make more of my own decisions about what to take, and taken a wider variety of classes. I didn’t enjoy most of my classes, partly because of this and partly because they’re all first semester intro classes–I hear it gets better, though :)</p>

<p>There were ups and downs. Pros and cons. But, I guess it says something that I decided to go back next semester when I really didn’t have to, when I had a couple of months at home to think about it.</p>

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<p>On the drinking/drugs thing, I think that the majority of people condemning it have never tried it and are such complete loser nerds that they spend their time posting in this thread about how much they are hating college because they have no friends, yet they won’t drink to socialize. </p>

<p>I never drank before college, and I thought it was bad too. I came to college, I drank. I party most weekends now. It is something fun to do, and you meet cool people. Loosen up nerds.</p>

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<p>@ Harris Hall:</p>

<p>First off, the people on this thread who criticized drinking never mentioned they “hate” college. They were just saying it wasn’t as great as they thought it would be.</p>

<p>I have no problem with other people drinking (and it seems most of the posters here don’t), but people shouldn’t feel compelled to drink in order to make friends. A person with really good social skills can make friends without drinking, even if they just hang out with those that drink. Just because there are people who choose not to drink but also want to be social (myself included), doesn’t mean they’re “loser nerds.” I don’t know how you can make such a judgmental, blanketed statement (“loser nerds”) about the posters on this thread when you don’t even know us.</p>

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<p>It is easy. I just type “loser nerds” then hit quick reply.</p>

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<p>I guess you fail to recognize the irony in this situation; you call them loser nerds and then respond within hours to a previous post. lol</p>

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<p>I’m at home on winter break, passing the time until I go to a party with my brother. I fail to see the irony, you are right.</p>

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<p>“Drugs aren’t only bad because they’re illegal - they’re illegal for a reason, and I could never be swayed by any argument saying that doing them is a constructive use of time or a good way to enjoy college…”</p>

<p>They are illegal for a reason, but not for the reason you think it is. Many of you are fine with people drinking and smoking cigarettes but not with others doing things like cannabis, shrooms, and LSD. Do you not realize that alcohol and cigarettes are so much worse for your body? </p>

<p>I do not advocate drug use. However, I feel it is important to clear up the incredible amount of ignorance surrounding drugs. I hope that nobody forces you to do things you really don’t want to do, but I also feel it is important for everyone to have an open mind. Many college students drink and try drugs. Again, I’m not going to say that they ARE a “good way to enjoy college” but you shouldn’t believe that they aren’t. Your college experience just might benefit from that change of heart.</p>

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<p>I did not enjoy my experiences at Baylor University. It was a strange place that appeared to me to be full of rich kids who had never had to work for anything in their lives. They had family businesses waiting for them when they graduated or dorpped out of school. I came from a small town where I had attended a junior college for two years. To be honest, I was just a C student at best, but I wanted to do much better. To answer your question, you do not need to like college life. Living in a dorm is full of misery and lots of noise. Finding a place to study is very difficult and is not guaranteed you will be always able to get to your study place before someone else takes your spot from you. You purpose in attending college is to make good grades and learn all you cna. Assign yourself papers, read the books, and create your own learning book. These are the skills you need to develope in order to survive. Don’t worry about finding friends and a spouse, just concentrate on making a 91 in each assignment or test you turn in to the prof.</p>

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<p>liking college does help. When you look for a job, you might have to put up with something unpleasant because you need the money. But right now you are the one with the money and the option to be selective so if you can avoid it you shouldn’t go to a college where you can’t learn and the atmosphere is all wrong because you risk learning less than you would somewhere else. And since you’re spending all that money it should be tolerable.</p>

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<p>It is hard to make friends in college. Everyone is young and insecure as they experience a new life and surroundings. You will be alone and will feel lost. Look at it as a growing experience. You will experience success and failure. Learn to overcome and adapt to your situation. You may not be mature enough to perform well in college until you are in your 30s or even 40s. That’s ok.</p>

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<p>Wonderful, I just got approved for housing at UMD.</p>

<p>Another semester of being woken up at 2AM on a weekday, I can’t wait.</p>

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<p>i guess starting college is a lot like moving from a whole other country while you’re still in high school. i share your sentiments, slik nik. (you can probably now guess why my screen name is what it is.) this last year has been the worst for me, and i’ve had a lot of bad ones. so, what do you do when all of a sudden you find it hard to make friends? well, you learn to live by yourself, right? i still don’t want to accept that i’m somewhat of a loner, but i know that’s the truth. i’m still really looking forward to going to college next year. high school is a lot worse for me. it’s like just beginning a race when all the others are halfway there. if college ends up disappointing me as well, i’m going to kill myself.</p>

<p>just kidding :D</p>