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<p>Didn’t you get some New Moon stuff for your dorm for Christmas? You are stuck at 12.</p>
<p>Brando, the beers offered at college parties are less like beer and more like carbonated water with a hint of alcohol. I agree those burps you get from Keystone or Natty are disgusting… real beer doesn’t do that.</p>
<p>Harris, I hate Twilight, and I’m far older than 12. Calling people “stupid” for not enjoying the drunken party scene is quite trollish. Some people are just not into that and for good reasons.</p>
<p>This thread makes me laugh</p>
<p>I spent my first semester of college doing entirely too much drinking and partying. I made an incredible number of mistakes which ultimately cost me the girlfriend I’d had since sophomore year of high school (granted, she screwed up too, but I was worse). I thought I was having the time of my life, though, so first semester was terrific. </p>
<p>Second semester, however, reality hit me… I hadn’t made any close friends since my hall mates just wanted to drink a lot, and though I love them, I’d not been able to have a legit deep conversation with any of them by the time Christmas came around. I felt very alone since I was trying to start over with friend making and since on the hall I lived in, being a conservative white Catholic wasn’t exactly socially acceptable, I often felt out of place. Completely miserable, my grades were terrible, and I wanted nothing more than to be done with school so I could clear my head and start thinking about transferring.</p>
<p>As it turned out, the summer of 2008 was very helpful… I came back in '08, solidified some REALLY close friendships, figured out the groups that made me feel welcome and became comfortable enough with my existence as a middle class, conservative white Catholic male that those who tried to make me feel badly no longer succeeded. </p>
<p>I was certainly disillusioned second semester freshman year by the fact that people accepted one night stands as normal, that being too hung over for class was funny or that drinking to the point of blacking out was cool. I still don’t think any of those things are okay, but I’ve moderated such that it doesn’t make me angry anymore. Plus, a good party here and there is plenty fun, especially when you’re the one who is walking home your friends who made bad decisions and need not make any more bad decisions!</p>
<p>College the past three semesters has been very good but only because I found my niche.</p>
<p>A lot of people, such as collegedirection, seem to be advising that those of us “disillusioned” by college should have spent more time finding a college that fits. But, as a high school student, it is quite difficult to find that perfect fit. Yes, you can do all the research on colleges in the world, such as going on the college websites, reading the brochures, visiting colleges, going to informational sessions, etc, yet all of this will not guarantee finding a college that “fits”. </p>
<p>I strongly believe the only way to find whether a college fits is to experience it yourself, and, for me, that means spending an entire week living/sitting in on classes on the campus. Unfortunately, this is logistically extremely difficult. The problem with the websites, the brochures, the information sessions, and the campus visit guided tours is that they do not tell the whole picture. The campus may look beautiful, but you don’t know whether the dorms are full of loud jerks, whether the profs are actually dedicated to teaching, whether class sizes are actually small, whether the food is good, etc. An overnight visit is helpful, but you can’t get the whole picture and feel of a college in one day. I spent every weekend this past April after receiving acceptances visiting a university (visited 4 total in one month) to make sure I made the best possible choice and found the best fit, but the overnight visits, especially when the programming is decided by the admissions office, did not really help me make a choice. And I stayed overnight in 3 different universities. If I spent a week at each university, I would have been able to sit in among 8-10 classes, talk to lots of students, understand dorm life, etc. With the overnight visit, I spent more time traveling to each university than actually spending time there. </p>
<p>Asking current college students their opinions is helpful, and I did that when I was finalizing my college choice, but they still have their bias and they may view certain aspects of the university through a different perspective than you would. </p>
<p>Yes, I agree it is important to find a college that fits. It is easy to advise that, but it is very hard to find the perfect fit in my opinion for most students (some find it very easily). I don’t think the problem is that most of us didn’t find a college that fit (although it may be the case for some). It is just that we had higher expectations of college life, thanks to the media and friends who exaggerate their experiences, than other people. I think the majority of us will be very happy at our colleges, but it will just take time.</p>
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<p>Be a man and drink whisky on the rocks. Or for a tasty drink, a daiquiri (rum, lime juice and simple syrup, not that worthless blended crap they have nowadays).</p>
<p>Honestly, I’m truly having the time of my life in college. I’m currently a senior (doing my bachelor’s degree in four years and a half). So far, it seems like every year has been better than the previous one.</p>
<p>Of course, it kinda sucks during midterms and finals season. But other than that, I’ve met a lot of great friends. I have also been involved in a lot of extracurricular activities like the student union and the organization of various events, things that I never thought I’d be able to do back in high school.</p>
<p>So far, college has been a nice experience academically. But it’s the social aspect that I’ve enjoyed the most: college has really allowed me to get out of my shell and expand my horizons.</p>
<p>Also, concerning the alcohol-related posts… some people do drink for reasons other than getting drunk. Yes, it is possible to enjoy the taste of alcohol.</p>
<p>Sure, if I want to get ****-faced at a party, I’ll buy cheaper beer. But I’ll often have a Guinness with my meal at a restaurant simply because I love the taste. Same goes for hard liquor. A small glass of whiskey on the rocks can be quite satisfying. Or a nice glass of port wine at the end of a good meal.</p>
<p>Ugh I hate whiskey. </p>
<p>My favorite cheap alcohol is Mad Dog 20/20 hahhaa.</p>
<p>Hey, good thread. There are different people at different schools. Sometimes you don’t get along with other students, sometimes you don’t get along with your school. </p>
<p>If you’re stressed out from all of your top notch academics that you worked so hard to earn, go out and drink, talk, argue, screw, and make friends. There are things in life that won’t get you closer to an acceptance letter that are still awesome. Do something illegal, do something dangerous, or you’re missing out. Don’t be that guy without great college stories.</p>
<p>Don’t take offense to what Harris is saying, he makes some good points. Whiskey does suck. Screwdrivers are legit. He’s making this thread fun instead of predictable, you loser nerds.</p>
<p>I love the fact that “getting laid” is one of the tags for this thread…</p>
<p>I went to community college for two years and decided to transfer to a big university…it was a complete disappointment. The people I was friends with at community college worked, took school seriously, had goals, etc, etc. Real college turned out to be glorified high school…a bunch of kids who are more concerned with their next kegger than anything else. I was excited to go further with my chemistry major, but when I found out it was just a competition to see who can do the most homework - I quit. Teaching was non-existent as well. Attending class meant sitting in a lecture hall and having the textbook repeated verbatim. Along with all the ******** came kids who thought they were superior to everyone else - and they were vocal about it. Maybe the environment wasn’t for me. Who knows? I’ve learned that a big college is just a name - honestly I found the quality of education (not students) to be much lower than that of community college. College was undeniably the biggest ******** experience of my life…</p>
<p>I’m a freshman at Stanford. </p>
<p>Academics:
I was really surprised how easy fall quarter was. I BSed my work, started/completed 4 page essays the night before they were due, didn’t read a single assigned book, skipped a lot of lectures, and still managed an A and two B’s. I know it’s to my disadvantage to have done that, but the point is that I got by with such little effort it’s ridiculous. I’ve never gotten more sleep in my life. Of course, this was only the first quarter of freshman year which I guess is supposed to ease you into college academics. Even though I didn’t do a lot of the work, I really liked my classes. Next quarter I’m going to focus on my academics way more. </p>
<p>Social aspect (this is going to be long)…</p>
<p>The first month was horrible. I cried a lot - mainly because I was homesick and lonely and embarrassed for being so lonely. </p>
<p>I didn’t have friends for the first month. The people I hung out with drove me crazy.
I wanted to go out on weekends, but found that I had no one to go out with. The acquaintances I had would make up excuses to not have to socialize… really frustrating. </p>
<p>My dorm (all-frosh) is so very cliquey and high school. People broke off into their groups and don’t really associate with the others in the dorm anymore. It’s the partiers, and the geeks. Not really much in-between. </p>
<p>It was hard for me to make friends and feel comfortable around people, mainly because I am shy and self-conscious etc. Yeah, a lot of my social problems are the result of me being shy and quiet. I dreaded going to dinner (where the dorm eats together) because I feared having to sit by someone I’m uncomfortable around and squirm in my seat because I had nothing to say and because I felt uninteresting and lame to the people around me. I would sometimes go out of my way to go to a different dining hall so I could eat by myself so I wouldn’t have to endure the awkward pain of sitting silently next to someone from the dorm. And I know it’s so easy to say “How was your day?” to the person I’m sitting across but I can’t bring myself to say that because it’s so fake and lame and will almost always be answered with a usually equally fake “good.” Really, a victim of my own mindset. I think too much. And I did go to the school’s counseling center where a psychology intern listened to me pretty well for 8 weeks but didn’t offer any solutions. So nothing helpful came out of that. I had an awesome senior year in high school. Then I came to college and my self esteem plummeted and all these old insecurities I had freshman/sophomore years of high school resurfaced, hindering my social life. </p>
<p>Also I’ve encountered a lot more mean or arrogant people than nice and friendly.
And I agree with a lot of previous posters - there is a lack of an intellectual atmosphere. To quote a girl in my dorm, “I hate learning.”</p>
<p>I went into college with the stereotype that we’d be doing crazy things, pulling pranks, staying out at night, doing fun stuff in the dorm, but none of that has happened. </p>
<p>I know a lot of people, but I only have two close friends and one other semi-close friend. I really wish I had a tight group of friends. But I don’t. And it sucks when so many other people do. </p>
<p>I haven’t found my niche yet. </p>
<p>My roommate and I aren’t friends. It’s awkward a lot when I’m around her. I feel uncomfortable around her for some reason. She’s really funny and awesome though… I just wish I didn’t feel uneasy around her? I feel shy and lame and socially inept when I’m around her. We haven’t hung out at all yet, not even a meal, and we probably won’t… which sucks because I would love to be her friend. I don’t think she wants to be mine. </p>
<p>In conclusion, I really like Stanford as a school. My personal experience at Stanford isn’t so great though. Next quarter I’m going to try to branch out more, form tighter bonds, and get some self-esteem. Without a doubt, I would be having a much better time at Stanford if I had some confidence.
If anyone has any suggestions/tips to help me regarding my social anxiety, that would be much appreciated. The first psychologist didn’t work, but I might go see another one not Stanford-affiliated. And my social anxiety isn’t too bad. I’m not a recluse. I’m really loud, fun, and talkative around people I’m comfortable with. But I’m uncomfortable around so many people I’ve encountered in life. Can’t really be “myself” around a lot of people you know? </p>
<p>SO In my situation, the problem isn’t with college as much as it is within myself. But I was still disillusioned. THE END</p>
<p>To the Stanford Student above: Hang in there! You were selected to attend Stanford because of something wonderful they saw in your application. Try to remember that every day you are there. There are 20,000 other kids who would have loved being in your shoes.</p>
<p>That being said, my eldest daughter graduated from Stanford in 2004. It was a huge transition. In the end, she absolutely loved it and thought it was the best place in the entire world. However, she went there from a high school where she was a huge fish in a small pond, and a wonderful sense of self. After her first quarter, I could see that her wonderful sense of self was shaken. She was in such awe of the people she was attending school with I think it took its toll. I also think she spent a lot of time thinking she did not deserve to attend school there.</p>
<p>In the end she found great friends, decided it was time in life to have some real fun (which she managed to do quite well), she also did well academically, but found it was much harder getting in to Stanford than flunking out. She worked hard, but I think she played harder, which she deserved to do. Her frosh year she was in a four class dorm and struggled finding a solid peer group. Her very best friend from college was in that dorm, but her other best friends were people that she met her sophomore and junior years…from attending sophomore college, being a tour guide and an RA, and living on the row her sophomore year.</p>
<p>So, my advice is to hang in there. I think the thing I learned from my daughter’s experience is college match is far more important than prestige and finding one’s niche is critical for a happy college experience. Good luck!</p>
<p>Wow, I am incredibly happy I found this thread. Although this is very naiive to think, I felt like I was one of the only people who felt this way. </p>
<p>I am a commuter studetn attending Kent State. It certainly was not my first choice-- I was accepted at OU, Ashland, and Westminter, but when the financial aid came in, Kent had given me a full ride for tuition (and yes, I do feel very blessed for that).</p>
<p>This first semester has been extremely…rough. I cam to Kent expecting a lot of good things. A better guy pool, so to say (I didn’t really date at all in high school, sadly enough), challenging classes, and to expectation that I would meet lots of new people and make a lot of new friends.</p>
<p>Wrong.</p>
<p>I guess I should start by saying that I certainly didn’t have a bad high school experience. I was the editor of my high school newspaper, involved in the drama guild, had a fairly large, nice group of friends, got good grades, and was close with a few of my teachers. It had its ups and downs, of course, but overall, I liked high school. I was just ready to move on to bigger and better things by the end of my senior year.</p>
<p>Of course, going to a college that is literally five minutes down the street for me was a little hard to cope with at first. I thought (and sometimes still think) that I am missing out on a huge part of the college experience by not being able to live on campus and have that “freedom” other campus-dwellers do. </p>
<p>I have some friends for HS that go to Kent with me, which, in some respects, is a very good thing. It’s nice to have that familiarity. I still feel I haven’t made any really “good” college friends, however. And that really, really worries me. The semester has been a constant struggle. People have told me that you don’t make a whole lot of “good friends” until sophomore year when you are more into your major…you don’t know how true I hope this is. </p>
<p>Needless to say, I spent most of this semester really working to adjust, but it has been really, really tough. I thought going to school close to home would be a laugh-- but it definitely has been anything but that.</p>
<p>Wow, I haven’t posted here in a long time, but I saw this thread and figured I could offer something to it. I’m a senior at Notre Dame now, but I started at BC three years ago and I remember how hard it was for me. I went to school with one of my best friends from HS, but I still had trouble finding much of a social life throughout my entire first year. Most of this came from my personality: I was, and still am, very introverted unless I get into a really comfortable situation. I had that comfort in high school, after being in the same district for 13 years, but I just could not find it at BC. It had been one of my life-long dreams to attend Notre Dame, so I made up my mind very early to send in a transfer application. Once I got to ND, I had some of the same problems but I convinced myself that since this is really where I want to be, I would make it work. I still don’t have a large group of friends or even know that many people, but I have two really great close friends and I am in the best relationship I’ve ever had right now. Transferring wasn’t easy, it is almost like having two freshman years, but if you transfer to the right place where the atmosphere is better for you, it can really help you out. If you had a rough freshman year or first semester, don’t give up, you can still enjoy college. I am even at the point now that I am excited to go back to school, when I used to dread the end of breaks horribly.</p>
<p>Good luck to the class of 2013!</p>
<p>@ckmets13-- wow, you don’t know how relieved I am to hear your story! Good for you! It gives me a lot of hope.</p>
<p>My daughter was within an ace of leaving university midway through the first semester. I remember tearful phonecalls home. We persuaded her to stay until Christmas, and then to finish the first year at least so as to build up some credits.</p>
<p>She is not shy, but reserved. She doesn’t drink and so never really enjoyed partying that much. By her second year she had found a good group of friends, got involved in a few groups and academically was doing well. Now she would say that overall she enjoyed university and is glad she stayed. The friends she made then are still close now, four years after graduation. I think there are some people who temperamentally find the first year of college hard work. They are slower to adapt to new situations, slower to make friends, maybe more sensitive, more introverted. There are many other people like you out there, and eventually you will find some of them. You will find your niche, like minded friends and begin to feel more comfortable. And remember - even the most apparently confident, brash students suffer occasional agonies of uncertainty and doubt. They just don’t show it.</p>
<p>No, I actually expected my time at the school I’m at to be TERRIBLE, but I love it. Sure, I don’t spend my time doing anything productive… quite the opposite. The only thing I was wrong about was me thinking I’d make it out of freshman year with a healthy liver ;)</p>
<p>I’m currently a freshman at NYU and I’ve loved it here so far! I did well in my academics this past semester and met a lot of interesting people. I especially love my living situation. I live on a floor where the majority of us (10+) hang out together in each other’s dorm, eat food together (having dinner every night together is a tradition), hang out in the hallways, eat out, etc. That’s just really how close we are as a floor and I love it. It definitely, to me, makes up for the general “lack of community” that NYU is known for. I’m an independent person anyways, and I just learned from this past semester that sometimes, you just have to make the effort in finding your own community around campus.</p>