I think the OP and her son should consider personal accounts, such as those shared in this topic, the impressions from a visit and statistical information.
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I just want to explicitly address the underlying assumption I’m picking up from some, and that is that if 80% of the students participate in greek life, that therefore means that 80% of the students could step out of Animal House (the movie).
As others have mentioned, W&L draws nationally, and from students that are very academically motivated, as well as being high achieving. Those kids aren’t black out drinking every weekend! Rather, it’s like other colleges – some kids don’t drink, some kids do, some kids do too much. But it isn’t an outlier on the party scene. As I said upthread, boys who wouldn’t join fraternities at other schools do so at W&L. These are thoughtful, sensitive, politically liberal kids – among all the others.
Here’s what I would say. The culture is a little different. They have the speaking tradition, which means that every time you pass someone you say hello. There seems to be a web of connections interwoven through the school, fostering friendships school ties. The students’ experience is rated as one of the highest in the country. Alumni are passionate. All in all, I find it, and Lexington to be a unique and special place. And the school resources are remarkable.
Now, that said, just like every college, it is not for everyone. It is in a small, charming town. Kids wanting urban, or a large student body – or an ABET accredited school! – (among many other things) won’t like it. Fair enough if someone doesn’t like it for a reason like that. I just hope that families who might be interested do more than a superficial review.
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I’ll chime in as a engineering Mom from a large public U and have a S who is a W&L alum and also in a frat.
When our kids went off to college, I did not want my kids to be in a frat. I knew what they were like. I was a regular at their parties. That being said, I was ok with my S (slightly nerdy and came from a poor town and a low performing public HS) joining one at W&L. I didn’t want him to feel excluded if everyone was in one and I refused. But also, W&L is not a large public U. It is a very small school with very high stat kids.
As someone mentioned upthread, the school is very involved with the frats. All dues, housing, etc is paid through the school even though the house is off campus. As my son told us (for what that’s worth) they can’t make the students do much of anything. One frat got a warning because they had them do push-ups. When mine rushed, he had mono and was let out of everything except learning the Creed. I think the others had to stand guard outside the house. And one frat was disbanded after a hazing infraction.
For the non drinkers, my son’s roommate didn’t drink nor did he join a frat. He is a cool and impressive guy - in a quirky way and is very comfortable in his own skin. He did just fine and is doing very well
All that being said… As much as I was pleased with W&L, I don’t think I’d highly recommend it for engineering. At least look where the engineering grads go. Mine was not interested in engineering, so I never looked at it closely. But non ABET accredited would scare me. Even much lower selective schools are ABET accredited.
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I’ll reply to my own to add that it was the frat connection that got my son his internship after his junior year. And it was during that internship (while ubering on the side) that a customer suggested his apply for his current job.
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Networking in general often gets people jobs. It doesn’t matter if it’s through Frats, Friends, or working Uber/Starbucks, etc. Regardless of where one is, if you’re looking for a job, network.
Some networks are better than others 
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While true, out of the students I’ve heard back from, being in a Frat was never a more common denominator than others.
If there were a most common denominator, it’s probably an “in” with professors if looking for internships/first jobs. This includes both students the prof liked in class/office hours and those that worked with the prof in labs.
If in an internship, many companies will directly hire those they like or make suggestions giving positive recommendations.
If past “first jobs” (re-entering the work force or changing jobs), churches (and presumably other houses of worship), and friend groups work well, including friends kept from college which may, or may not, have been friends from a Frat.
Sorry not to be clear. I did not mean fraternities have superior networks. Just that
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