Is writing about how dysfunctional my family is a good topic for the CA essay...?

College Essays
1

<p>Yeah, I haven't written it yet... And my apps are due January 1st. I'm a professional procrastinator, though, and I have my UC essay to adapt if worst comes to worst (anyway, that's what I'm telling myself so as not to have a panic attack).</p>

<p>So, I've been thinking about the prompts, and a 'story' that really is central to my identity in a lot of ways is the story of my dysfunctional family - well, my parents. It's not a very happy story. My father chose to take a sort of 'entrepreneurial' path and started a non-profit 'organization' that received donations... with which he sustained the family, basically.</p>

<p>I could tell from an early age that my parents were doing everything all wrong... They were renting a large house and a nice car and wasting so much money, while they could have bought a house and car when they moved here, and they should have down-sized, etc..</p>

<p>I was like 10 years old when I first told my mom to tell my dad to get a "real job", and I was about 13 when I told my mom that she always sat on top of her problems without ever dealing with them: The house was always insanely messy, and she would say, "If only I had the time..." (even though she stayed at home) My father was alcoholic for a few years, and she was an enabler. etc. I always felt out of place in the picture-perfect suburb where I grew up. Reminds me of the hideous beetles crawling beneath the well-manicured, green lawn in David Lynch's film Blue Velvet... I rented a flute to be in the band and advised my parents to simply buy a flute, since renting would quickly add up to be more than the cost of the flute... over the course of my years in band, my parents spent roughly 9k on a flute that cost about $400...</p>

<p>At the end of my freshman year, my family was evicted from our house and lived with my grandma a few towns over for 7 months. It was quite uncomfortable, with familial tensions through the roof (gma hates my father), parents sleeping on the floor, one car thanks to a generous aunt...</p>

<p>Finally my parents sold the expensive grand piano, a family heirloom, and my father got a commission job, and we moved into a small house (my brother went to college, so now I was alone with them)... Things were ok for a while, but then more hell: My father 'borrowed' $100 from me and didn't give it back. Trust shattered all over again. Then my father went off the deep end, left his job, and started running for Secretary of State. lol. He said he 'refused to get a job'. Then he left my mom for another woman, saying they were immediately going to have kids and stuff. He kind of blamed me for his leaving. I said good riddance. Not a happy time. This was early junior year. My mom said their relationship had been like Stockholm Syndrome. A few months later she says he's coming back and, "He's changed." lol. Same old same old. Started another organization, took more 'donations' from people and more money from his relatives.</p>

<p>And, so, anyway... Through all this time, I never felt settled: Everything was always up in the air. Lots of anxiety. What have I learned? Uhh, I learned that I want to make an honest living, I want to be honest with myself and others... I don't want to be stuck in misery because of my inability to be an honest and hard-working person... I want to face problems head-on. Uhh, I'm learning now to be happy... Grounding myself with meditation. Also, the things I experienced made me much more attuned to problems in the world just by making me a more serious person. </p>

<p>Uhh... I realize this might not be an appropriate topic at all and might make me seem more messed up than anything. It just jumped out on me when I read the 'story essential to who you are' (or something like that) prompt. What do you think?</p>

2

<p>Depends, if it shows your resilience. However I heard the failure prompt on commonapp was easier.</p>

3

<p>bumppppppppppppppp</p>

4

<p>I definitely think it’s an unorthodox essay, and it may be hard to squeeze in 650 words, but if you include what you learned from the whole experience then the essay will have much more meaning. It seems that you have learned from the experience so I’d say go for it!</p>

5

<p>Hmm…</p>

6

<p>Not my words, but:</p>

<p>-Pick one anecdote and elaborate on it.
-If you do pick that topic, make sure that your aim is to have the admission officers respect you, not pity you.</p>

7

<p>Thanks for the replies! Anyone else have an opinion?</p>

8

<p>The most important thing to realize about these prompts is that they are an application and not an autobiography. Your goal is to make yourself seem as appealing of a candidate as possible. You can get brownie or sympathy points for doing good stuff or overcoming obstacles BUT the core content needs to show positive traits about yourself.</p>

<p>

basically if you start with this as a brainstorm and elaborate further it can be a good essay.</p>

9

<p>Personally it all sounds very bitter and mehhh. I sympathize and I’m sure admissions will too - IF the essay doesn’t end up the way you’ve summed it up here… </p>

<p>Two things to keep in mind:</p>

<p>1) The dysfunctional family story is not unique. I’m not sure you realize that. In fact struggle stories in general are very common in admission essays. It can be really overdone and come across as pretentious sometimes. So make sure your telling of it and what you take from it is authentic yet presents something they wouldn’t read in every other essay.</p>

<p>2) College/education is a building block for your FUTURE. Think ‘forward’ even when you reflect on past experiences… if you want to use the family story, focus on what it has given you (aka the positive), not what you have been deprived of (aka the negative). At all costs do not express any disrespect or indignation when writing about your parents. That includes subtle hints of spite. Even if you hated their ways or didn’t trust them for whatever reasons, they were your parents, they raised you and you owe them respect… how you talk about them foretells your attitude towards authority in your future college/career. If you find it difficult not to (for lack of a better term) whine… avoid it altogether. Better safe than sorry.</p>

<p>These essays above anything else tell admissions a lot about the core of your character. Write about your troubles with some extent of objectivity (as if writing history) - show that you have risen above them, that although they have shaped your worldview, they do not hinder your pursuit of excellence. Don’t state that outright… but if you’re writing about negative experiences, you need to give them a pretty great answer to “okay… so what now?” </p>

<p>Most importantly, write words that come from you and you alone. Trying to write in a way that is not true to you will show, I promise you that.</p>

10

<p>I think you have got to the crux of the matter toward the end. Your life circumstances have had the effect on you to deeply reflect and develop your personal values on your own. You have a better idea of what matters to you than most people your age. I’d come at it from that angle. I think you sound honest and reflective and that is just right for an admissions essay. It is too bad you have left it so long but you can do it. Just start writing it and spend time on rewrite.</p>

11

<p>I think you have a nice story, but don’t elaborate too much on it; instead, think of how you’ve put your life at home behind you. In your conclusion, I would suggest writing about how in spite of the whirlwind that’s taken place at home, you’ve never seen yourself hindered academically and express gratitude for the opportunities you did have. Coming from an economically disadvantaged household myself, I’d feel tempted to use my Common App essay just to vent and complain about everything that’s been going wrong at home, and who’s anyone to stop me? But just how mature would that be? What kind of person does that make me? The same would apply to you. That being said, I think your topic is adequate based on the angle you’re willing to approach it from: seeing gains from a disadvantaged and troubled household. Just remember: you want your readers (adcoms) to feel respect, not sorrow.</p>