It is OK to choose the cheaper, In-State over the more expensive

Parents Forum
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<p>Hold on a sec Dogs! I'm not sure what you are implying - but I know sometimts teens say things they don't really mean, especially when asked an opinion "off the cuff". Sometimes teens like to shock and consternate the adults around them, believe it or not. My kids say "YYYuuucckk" and run for cover if they catch Mom and Dad smooching in the kitchen (if Green1087 reads this, I'm dead meat).
My reaction to Suze's report of the class survey should not imply condemnation of her family's choices. From what I've learned about the top notch boarding schools, they can be a wonderful experience for the right child. Do some families send their offspring to boarding school to get rid of them? Probably, but lots of parents send their kids to Podunk High School hoping the kid will forget his way home, too.
I think Suze's survey might have exaggerated just a bit.</p>

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<p>The last degree is where it counts the most on your resume so if you must impress somebody, save it where it matters(graduate school),unless you're rich(then what difference does it make where you get your degree from?) Moot point I see(:-).
An Ivy undergraduate seems to maximize your chances/opportunities (but not a guarantee)for success. But it comes with expectations especially from employer. Heck! they have to spend a few thousand more to pay you vs the non-Ivy so it's natural that they expect more from you unless you can't perform then the non-Ivy grad will take over.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the support----I was worried I'm the only one that wonders about the meaning of some of this "over the top" thinking about what constitutes success in life. Suze uses the phrase "kids who didn't "get in" because they don't have the stats for IVYS" . This is where its important for students to have a reality check. There a 10 kids with similar stats for every spot at many of these schools so if you don't get in it is unlikely to be your stats but something arbitrary like they needed to have another percussionist, archeology major, URM, or gave preference to a legacy or athlete. At many private HSs in my area the counselors push almost all the kids to go ED so they can quaddruple their chances when many aren't ready to decide and now regret not having a chance to attend a handful of accepted students days and make a decison closer to the end of their Sr year.</p>

<p>With tutors to raise SAT scores and professional college application counselors its hard to say what student is genuinely deserving. This board is not, to my knowlege, only for students/parents looking at IVYS but they do have their own catagory, is that not enough? So when there is a thread on something like "State Honors Colleges" why would anyone want to go on that thread and slam those kids as less deserving of an opoortunity to advance themselves that falls outside of the old boy network/elitism. Some of my favorite people in my adult like attended Ivys and never, ever mention it. I can see if someone describes themselves as being in "the best" school, in the "best town" with the "best teachers" in the world....well naturally a certain world view could develop in those circumstances that a bright hopeful child in an inner city school might see differently. Parents/students on this board often feel a need to apologize that they are asking for advice about Miami U, Howard, or Tennesse Stae. I noted the following on the state college thread a few minutes ago and if this board is true to form you may soon see a barrge of comments trying to negate the data. No problem with that, to a point but it would be refreshing if just once these students can get positive feedback and encouragement and not feel their accomplishments or school choice have them coming up short.</p>

<p>Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 20 Schreyer Honors College boasts not only 100% acceptance in Med School, but also 100% into Law School, 100% into Business school, and 100% into Grad School.</p>

<p>This is a statistic that has been maintained over several years as well.</p>

<p>Average GPA: 4.09 Average SAT: 1425</p>

<p>85% of Schreyer Grads go on to higher education</p>

<p>Just in 2004, students from the program were admitted to grad school at:
Cambridge University
Columbia University
Harvard University
Johns Hopkins University
Northwestern University
Oxford University
Stanford University
U. C. Berkeley
University of Illinois
University of Michigan
University of North Carolina
University of Pennsylvania
Columbia University (Law)
Duke University (Law)
Harvard University (Law & Medicine)
University of Pennsylvania (Medicine)
University of Washington (Medicine)</p>

<p>This is a competitive program, and many say it compares with the Ivys.</p>

<p>There is even a post in the Schreyer Program thread by a Schreyer student that says that his friends pretty much go into to the top five grad schools in their fields and got to pick</p>

<p>This says a lot.</p>

<p>for more stats from 2004 visit:<a href="http://www.scholars.psu.edu/about/annualreport0405.pdf%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.scholars.psu.edu/about/annualreport0405.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

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<p>Sorry Cangel for the misunderstanding.
I actually wasn't even conscious of the survey and wasn't responding to that--I was just pointing out that we can have one person who is "grateful" and thrilled to be in the "best" school in the "best town" while another person might see boarding school as an isolating experience with neither being a good or bad viewpoint but just an example of how our values can dictate some of these things in one direction while the person with the experience actually sees it quite differently. On another post a child accepted into an Ivy felt he was needing to choose a school with a merit scholarship for various reasons not the least of which had to do with his compassion toward his family's circumstances. Rather than affirm his choice he received a slew of comments about how his career would never be successful. I had to feel that this young person was actually displaying a very mature perspective by making a choice about himself in relation to others not a "ME,ME, ME" decison. That to me said more about his/her future success in life. </p>

<p>So, if the OP wants to hear "no its not OK" to choose the less expensive school in answer to that querry it looks like there is plenty of support for that but if he/she wanst to know if "its OK"--I say sure. If thats a disident voice--.thats OK with me too.</p>

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<p>Dogs, that record of the Schreyer Program speaks for itself. Who cares what anyone else says, with facts like this? Ignore any naysayers.</p>

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<p>dogs, I'm with you on the perceived maturity level of that soon to be college student who showed compassion for his family's circumstances. </p>

<p>I am way too new to CC to make a fair judgement as to whether the majority of people who actually post, as opposed to read only types, are diehard enough to truly believe that "no it's not OK" to choose the less expensive (does that really mean less prestigous?) school. It would be very short sighted, if they were.</p>

<p>I think I feel a sudden urge for finding my copy of "Harvard Schmarvard" and having a nice tumbler full of wine right about now - having just read the "Two Easy Financial Aid Traps for Parents" thread!!</p>

<p>I think, for me, part of the problem I have to fight with myself about is that I really, really want (as do I'd guess 100% of the parents on here) to be able to send our daughter to the "best" college that she gets accepted to - as in the best for her... With the fears that we won't be able to afford it, comes the guilt that creeps in... Is this guilt something deserved? I don't think it is, I think it's part of my path to accepting and understanding the realities of this whole, very different from when I was back in school, college deal. If our daughter "has to" go to one of the SUNY colleges, I'm hoping she'll be wise enough to do really well there and come out well read, well rounded and well educated. I've always figured it was a good thing to be a NY State resident for something. :)</p>

<p>OK, enough of my internal angst sharing! ;)</p>