<p>This may have been addressed before, but the question resurfaces in my mind everytime I read a post like "Crushed Dreams, Financial Reality". The majority of high school posters tend to advocate a "follow the dream" path. What do parents think?</p>
<p>One could perhaps make a case that 50K+ for HYPS is worth the investment. If the child does not get into HYPS, but is good enough to get into Duke, JHU, Rice etc. - how do people feel about shelling out 50K+ for these schools as opposed to accepting a half or full-ride from the local state university (such as U-Mich or UT-Austin)?</p>
<p>Stupid because U-Mich and UT Austin are just as good as Duke, JHU, and Rice...you'll get the same education and the same degree. In the end, a couple years out, it's not going to matter at all. Your degree will be a footnote on your resume. Yet, you may be reminded of that expensive degree every month you make payments to your student loan note - if you have to finance the more expensive option.</p>
<p>I'll bite. I suspect I'm in the minority, but I've told my daughter to pick 5 schools to apply to, one of which must be a state school. Then she <em>will</em> be attending the cheapest of the 5. If she prefers a more expensive option, it will be up to her to finance the difference in costs. </p>
<p>When the time comes to sign on the dotted line, I hope I'll have the resolve to stick to my guns if she really, really, really wants to go to BigNameU instead of a still-good-but-not-quite-so-hot-U.</p>
<p>We told our kids they can go to any college they want to attend that accepts them and we will pay 100% of tuition, room, meals & books. We will take out the loans. But this applies to undergrad only. They're on their own for grad school.</p>
<p>We sent them to public school, and didn't buy them new cars, extensive videogame systems or send them on hs graduation trips. We view paying for college as part of our parenting responsibilities (I know, others may feel differently but this is our view).</p>
<p>We also feel that college is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. 4 years to find yourself, explore, and focus on learning. We feel we're not only paying for the degree to get the first job, but for the EXPERIENCE of those 4 years. Therefore, we don't really weigh the "how-much-more-will-I-earn-if-I-graduate-from-Prestige-U-than-from-Local-State-College" question very heavily. We view college as more than a means to an end. </p>
<p>That said, we expect the kids to work hard, get the best grades they can, and pay for all their own "fun" (including extra-curricular activity fees). </p>
<p>And I know we are "fortunate" to be able to view it this way. There are others for whom 2 years at CC followed by 2 years at local state u is the only way to get the degree, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. But we are "fortunate" partly because we chose to be - we worked hard, SAVED, , planned ahead, and basically oriented our lifestyle around the idea that we were going to have go come up with 100% of college costs for 2 kids. We are lucky in that no major illness or unexpected layoff got in the way of our plans, and I know others have not had the same luck.</p>
<p>Our Ds have been told to apply wherever they want with the caveat that if they don't get the $$ neccessary to make a private education as affordable as public one it is off the table or they will pick up the difference.</p>
<p>^^ I'm in the camp that it shouldn't be a parents responsibility to provide 100% of a child's college education. There's always student loans and financial aid available for education. There's no financial aid for retirement and health care expenses.</p>
<p>I agree with what my father told me back in the 1960's--the best gift a parent can give a child is for the parent to never be financially dependent on the child. I agree with UCB: if parents have a concern about their retirement/elder care (including medical needs) DON'T put themselves at risk financially for their kids' education.</p>
<p>There is another thread titled *bed pans *on the Parent's Forum with an interesting twist on this subject.</p>
<p>We also view paying for college as part of our parental responsibilities. But we don't see paying for any college at any cost. We view cost as part of the equation, and our son did too. It would be really hard for us to pay four times the price for a big private vs a state U if the programs were roughly equivalent. Why not look at it from all angles? If our son wants to go with a good but less expensive choice and have us reserve some of the $ for grad school, why not?<br>
Bottom line, I don't believe that a child should be blind to the costs...unless of course money is unlimited. 200K is a HUGE amount of money. And no, we didn't spend extravagantly and short change the college fund.</p>
<p>We live in a state with a truly weak State U system. If we went along with ChiSquare's plan, D1 would have a free ride to an inferior education. On the other hand, we've been able to make a good living here and save enough for college. The cost of living is also SIGNIFICANTLY less than many states with outstanding state schools. The kids go to public schools with no prestige car or clothing pressures. </p>
<p>Our kids will all be allowed and encouraged to go out of state, public or private, at our expense, because the decision we adults made to live here puts them in this position.</p>
<p>Dad07, part of our philosophy is also that we will be responsible for our own retirement. If we had to rob our retirement savings/planning to pay for college, we wouldn't do it. I don't expect my kids to support me in my old age. Our thinking is that we raise our kids, send them to college, then out into the world with a clean financial slate. No big wad of cash, but no debt either. From that point they're on their own, unless they need a loan for some reason, which we WOULD expect them to pay back (we paid our parents back for money loaned us when we bought our house).</p>
<p>Our S did choose a half ride at a top-50 private, which he loved and we loved for him and saved us a nice bundle (we don't qualify for need-based aid). But it was Tulane and they eliminated his major post-Katrina.</p>
<p>Like another poster above, we don't live in a state with a particularly good U system.</p>
<p>For transfers, the merit money is just not out there (really really scarce).</p>
<p>So... we have lived both sides of this coin. We are paying the full freight for precisely one of the schools whose value the OP questions. It's not fun.</p>
<p>But... we can do it, if sacrificing. And we have asked our son to pay it forward. That will be good enough for us.</p>
<p>Agree with Momneedsadvice, we told our daughter she could apply wherever she chose, we could cover the costs. We only have one and we planned for college, as well as our retirement.</p>
<p>After accepting a very large scholarship at another school, she transferred after three semesters to a school where we are paying almost the entire cost. </p>
<p>After having only a few friends in high school and the first college, she has found her people at the second college and is having a great experience. She is also having a better academic experience. We feel that it is money well spent.</p>
<p>
[quote]
We sent them to public school, and didn't buy them new cars, extensive videogame systems or send them on hs graduation trips. We view paying for college as part of our parenting responsibilities (I know, others may feel differently but this is our view).</p>
<p>We also feel that college is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. 4 years to find yourself, explore, and focus on learning. We feel we're not only paying for the degree to get the first job, but for the EXPERIENCE of those 4 years. Therefore, we don't really weigh the "how-much-more-will-I-earn-if-I-graduate-from-Prestige-U-than-from-Local-State-College" question very heavily. We view college as more than a means to an end.
[/quote]
Well said. Our view entirely. We are very familiar with UT-Austin; rankings don't sum up an individual kid's experience there. We are happy to be paying our EFC to Rice. :)</p>
<p>Agree w/MomNA. We were stupid enough to save for our kids college education and retirement. However, just because I can afford to pay full freight does not mean I want to. My kids will apply at need blind schools that offer merit aid. First one received substantial merit a private U. Am hoping second will too.</p>
<p>S2 can go wherever he likes, or more precisely, wherever he can get his little behind into. As far as I know, though an excellent student, he has no dream school and would be happy most places. We decided we will pay whatever it takes and make whatever sacrifice is necessary. We felt the same for S1, and are following through for him as well. We don't care about major or a career. The only aim of their education, is getting an education.</p>
<p>We also went the MomNA route (deferred maintenance on house, old cars, saving from inception, etc.) in order to have $$ to give D1 her choice of college without regard to financial aid. </p>
<p>I also acknowledge that our view is not held universally and I think that it is a family choice.</p>
<p>We have 4 to educate. Each has known forever that they can have from us the equivalent of the instate tuition room and board for 4 years. They could then do what they wanted. get scholarships, work or take out loans if that did not cover the school they wanted. S1 found scholarships for his OOS. S2 and S3 went in sate. DD found scholarships to make up difference at her school. DD did have to take her original first choice out of consideration when the financials did not add up. But she is thrilled where she is now. It all works out.</p>
<p>We also told our D we'd pay for a state school but she could go elswhere if she got merit money. Now she go into one of "those schools" and we find we might be willing to pay the difference ( It's "our fault" she can't get financial aid...joking).I don't think my D would have a clue about debts of 1k vs 5k vs 10k vs 100k. I don't think I did . At that age i signed up with the Air Force because I needed $675 dollars a semester. Gahh!</p>
<p>This reminds me of a conversation my DH and I had about choosing to open enroll at a school that would require a slightly longer commute. He said, "but it's so inconvenient." All I could answer was, "what about child raising HASN'T been inconvenient???" You could substitute "expensive" for "inconvenient."</p>
<p>We had our our girls later than most and had been saving for many years so we told our girls they could go wherever they wanted. D1 was fortunate to receive a nice partial 4 yr. academic scholarship at a safety LAC. She loves it and will have cash at the end of undergrad in her savings account to put towards grad school and no loans after attending a $35k + school. Her business degree reflects her personality. ;) D2 is VERY serious about her academics but her personality will not allow her to fly very far from the nest where her academic needs could be more easily addressed.:( We are really struggling with this one and would gladly pay for a school that would meet her needs. She will more than likely get academic $$$ at LACs but is also looking at some close but OOS state schools for sports. We are fortunate to be able to do this. DH and I are still debating about grad school expenses. ;)</p>
<p>LOL! Riverrunner...you just made me spew my nice cab all over my screen!!! Ha!</p>