<p>I've spent 3 and a quarter years feeling stressed out and burned out. I've always been a pretty intellectual kid but for some reason in 9th grade I decided that if I was able to attend a top college I would be happy - I would be around intellectual peers who would enrich my life and from that I would go on to enter a profession where I would continue to be surrounded my like-minded peers who would challenge me all the time. Unfortunately, throughout school, I couldn't seem to remember that purpose. Every time I got a grade below 93 I panicked that my life would be over - I still panic. My attitude towards high school has caused me to lose so much of my passion for learning. I don't give myself any time to just relax and putter, instead I'm either studying or sitting on Facebook. I'm either actively engaged in school-related things or actively worrying about school-related things. </p>
<p>Last year I finally acknowledged that I lost all of my purpose. I realized that grades really don't matter, but my compulsions have instilled this deep-seated, irrational fear. If I ever get below a 90, my life may possibly be over. I may drop down into the second quintile which will invariably cause me to get rejected by any school with intellectual students, thus I'll be miserable and homeless. This sounds ridiculous, but I actually genuinely feel this way. </p>
<p>I have this underlying desire to quit. To start allowing myself to actually get Fs. To put in 0 effort into all my subjects and just enjoy myself. Or, I could find some middle ground - work a some, but not too much. No matter what, I cannot put my fears aside. I cannot detach myself from school. I'm too caught up in the competition - how people will perceive me if I fail. I can't get the slippery slope effect of my head. I cannot believe that I will be happy at a less than amazing college. </p>
<p>Now I've worked this hard and I'm still terrified. I'm trying to give it up, but every test, quiz, or homework seems like a test or quiz of whether or not I will succeed and be happy in life. It's so ironic because it is this philosophy that is bringing about the demise of my happiness. </p>
<p>Why did I do this to myself? Why can't I break out of the cycle? I feel like I'm addicted to drugs.</p>
<p>Is your grading scale based on the 100 scale?</p>
<p>In ours, a 100 in all your classes is the same as a 90 in all your classes, GPA wise.</p>
<p>/unhelpful post</p>
<p>The best thing you can do is take a break from school when you feel like this.</p>
<p>-Sleep: You might need more.
-Exercise: I don’t know if there are any good trails where you live, but I’ve found hiking to be really refreshing.
-Weed: It’s helpful if you use it in moderation, but if you don’t have the willpower to limit your use then don’t start.
-Cooking: Food is awesome and cooking is therapeutic for some people.
-Movies: A good film can be really relaxing.
-People: Face to face interaction is usually a good thing.
-Music: Learn to play an instrument or go to concerts (some in my area are ~$10 and a ton of fun)</p>
<p>School by itself isn’t enough in life; you need more. Force yourself (get your parents involved if necessary) to try some of the things I listed above so that you’ll have something to look forward to besides grades and school.</p>
<p>^Did you just recommend an illegal drug? That would be the worst thing you could do. Even if it had no physical effect on your body (I’m not saying it doesn’t), the mental anguish of hiding it from your parents and law enforcement, not to mention the price, would not be worth it. Don’t do drugs; stay in school my friends.</p>
<p>^Look at the list 1. Sleep 2. Exercise 3. Weed.
I think it’s clear that he was just talking about removing weeds from a garden. Don’t always assume the worst in people.</p>
<p>^^Then I agree. Gardening can be a very relaxing activity.
In the future, I’ll try not to assume people mean the illegal drug when they say (sing.) “weed”.</p>
<p>OP, do something you’ve never done before. I can’t explain why, but it works. Just don’t do anything extreme, like cutting your wrist or jumping off a 24-story building. I know it can be hard to do, but try to find at least one reason, however small, to carry on. I mean, there are only three quarters left for you to power through, and you’ve probably done very well over these past few years. Let’s say you’re accepted by your dream college - for argument purposes, Yale - but you gave up/burned out senior year. Though Yale was extremely impressed by your fresman - junior years, it clearly saw a huge drop in academic achievement in your senior year and it is inclined to believe you won’t do so well in college, and therefore rescind its acceptance. High school can be tough sometimes, really, really tough. I’m going to high school; I also want to get into a prestigious college, and I’m not the only one. There are hundreds of thousands of high schoolers with similar credentials but not all of them feel stressed and burned out. You’ve just got to change your perspective. Don’t think of high school as a transition into college, where you have to get straight A’s to even have a shot. Think of high school as a unique part of your life. Enjoy each second of it and appreciate the ones around you because after you guys part ways, the next time you see each other you’ll be strangers to one another.</p>
<p>Just stop trying so hard.</p>