<p>This is completely pathetic. But I will lay out my rediculous situation anyway, just because I don't know what to do anymore...</p>
<p>I finished my freshman year at Miami University of Ohio, pretty miserable, but with almost straight A's in spite of both my severely depressed state and a pretty mediocre high school record. Miami is a lovely place, but not for me.
I want more of a challenge, more personal attention, more support for the arts recreationally (theatre, music, studio art) and definitely more diversity-- I'm one of the first in my family to go to college and I truly would like to experience more of the world than my family did. </p>
<p>During second semester I applied to transfer to the following, very different places: Syracuse University, Denison University, Lafayette College and University of Rochester. I got into Newhouse at Syracuse and was pretty excited to double major in Communications (Public Relations) and Psychology, to be able to do theatre recreationally and (an added plus) to be less than two hours from my boyfriend at Cornell. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, I received deplorable financial aid from Syracuse and decided it would not be worth it to go there, taking comfort in the fact that at least I would not have to transfer to another large university, as Miami's size, though moderate, was large for me. I also didn't receive enough financial aid from Lafayette to justify making my mother, who's putting three of us through college herself, share that weight with me.</p>
<p>Denison University gave me full tuition and the rest of my expenses in grants and only one small loan. At first I was so blown away and excited, but the more people I talk to about it, the more I am being convinced that Denison will be just like Miami, only smaller. People I know who transferred out because of both antisemitism and sheer boredom have me scared. And in terms of the social life, it seems people only party in campus housing... I can't imagine being in a place where all there is to do is drink and pass out... that's how miami was at times, and it was depressing. </p>
<p>The University of Rochester gave me similar financial aid to Denison, though about 5,000 more in loans. It's academically the best school I got into, and though I would be living in overflow, apartment-style housing 5 minutes from campus, it seems like a good opportunity and a different one than anyone in my family has ever gotten. </p>
<p>Here's my deal with Rochester: Silly as it sounds, I'm terrified of being isolated even more than I would be normally since the student body is not supposed to be too incredibly social. There is a social (mostly greek) scene, but it seems that people settle in with their groups by sophomore year, which would make living far away a huge detriment when it comes to meeting people and staying in contact with them in the first months. And though I want the research opportunities and the good reputation, am I willing to go through what could potentially be another very lonely semester to get them?</p>
<p>As it stands now all three schools think I'll be there at the end of this month. I need to decide--weeks ago. I've just been so immobilized with the fear of making another mistake. I hated miami, but jumping head-first when I'm not completely convinced about one of these other schools seems like even more of a mistake. </p>
<p>I have gotten to quite a rediculous point. I can pursue my double major in english and psychology at any of these places and get a fine education and a decently marketable degree. I've just hit such a wall and I'm running myself in circles trying to find the lesser of three. That's not what college should be.</p>
<p>Do I go back, stick it out and try to transfer again if I'm still miserable-having made my gpa an even more solid 3.8 or 3.9? Or do I take a potentially silly chance?</p>