<p>A little background - we live in a town of 18K in northwestern Louisiana. My daughter has been interested in all girls boarding schools for a couple of years. After months of begging, we decided to go on this journey to see what happens. Most of our friends think we are crazy. Normal people just don't do this. LOL!</p>
<p>I have lurked on this board for quite some time. I felt like I knew most of the ins and outs of the process. We attended a private school fair in Houston in the fall where she had formal interviews beforehand. Daughter took the SSAT's in January and scored a 96 composite. 99-Verbal (perfect 800), 88-Math, 81-Reading. We were thrilled with the results. She finished her essays and everything was submitted on January 15 to meet deadlines to two schools. She's applying to 5 girls schools. </p>
<p>Now, to the part where I feel just awful. Our adjusted income is right at 150K. We are certainly not rich but I know I'm lucky when the majority of the nation makes much less. I fill out the SSS form. We don't have many assets - we have lived in our home for 15 years. It's 1000 square feet and our first home purchased. So, we don't live large. We are like most people - we spend what we make. Could we live on less? Certainly. </p>
<p>Hubby isn't as excited about this boarding school journey as I am. I believe it will be a wonderful experience! At the bottom of the SSS form, I put 5K on what I thought we could afford. Big mistake. That's what our small private school in town costs and I knew it was doable. Being so far away, I knew there would be so many other expenses and we have a son, 17 months younger, that we have to think of too. </p>
<p>My family statement was finally available after 48 long hours.....and what does it show??? After adding the extra boarding money it comes out to 29K! I was floored. Completely and totally shocked. </p>
<p>I feel as I've let my kid down. I believe she will have some acceptances on March 10th. But, I can not and will not pay even 20K for her to attend school. It's not even close to being feasible. My heart aches at the thought of my daughter being so excited and then let down a minute later when I have to tell her we can't pay. Ugh! </p>
<p>Has anyone else gone through this? I feel now that I should have stuck to my original answer of "NO!". She would have been mad for a while but would have been over it by now. I understand these let downs are a part of life. But, at 14, I'm not sure I should have contributed to the let down. I'm just totally bummed......</p>
<p>Many of us have been through this. Some will be lucky and get extra $ from schools, some families will find/borrow the money to make it work (it’s easier to draw a financial line in the sand before you get acceptances), and some people will decide not to go.</p>
<p>Frankly, I’m surprised that in rural LA at an AGI of 150K they only expect you to pay 20K. Here in a suburb of NYC for not that much more income they expected us to pay 100%.</p>
<p>Wait and see where she gets accepted, then go in and talk to the FA office.
FYI Hotchkiss had a great FA brochure with a variety of options that are available for parents to pay for BS.</p>
<p>Mom, it’s actually 29K. But, not even 20 is doable. I really did have my head in the sand over this… I like the idea of drawing a line. Great idea.</p>
<p>How about writing a letter to the schools FA boards explaining your finances in detail…so they can see what your monthly budget and obligation is like. I know some schools here in NYC require this type of letter. It really helps give the board a detailed view of what you can afford. Good luck</p>
<p>I am a student and trust me I am in a similar situation wid my parents but they told me the truth and I totally accept the fact dat dey might not be able to afford d fee so I am pretty sure ur daughter will understand as well…</p>
<p>Louisiana, I’m truly sorry that you were hit by “sticker shock” and of course it feels awful to have to let your daughter down.
It’s important to remember that no matter how amazing our kids are, the financial responsibility for educating them at these wonderful schools always rests primarily with the family, and parents are expected to pay as much as they are able (and sometimes more). My income is small, and though we received generous FA, there was certainly still a contribution to be made. I took on freelance work in addition to my full time job in order to make up the difference. I cut out things that were not necessary, like restaurant meals and vacations. Instead of going to the movies (and I really love the movies), I take DVDs out from the library. And on and on… You get the idea… Many, many families here have made major alterations to their lifestyles to pay for prep school, because they see this investment as a priority. I feel your pain, but I do think it’s all about choices and priorities. You say that your income is 150k, and that ‘you spend what you make, but that you could certainly afford to live on less’. You also say that you cannot, and will not spend even $20k for her education. It sounds like a mixed message to me. I do hope that your daughter receives good news on March 10, perhaps more FA than you expect, or maybe a merit scholarship! If this is something you truly want to provide for her, please take a good look at all the angles before deciding that you can’t or won’t do it. For so many of us, it’s a choice we don’t regret having made. The benefits of this education are a really wonderful 'return on the investment ’ that we make. Wishing you all the best!</p>
<p>@ Louisiana, tuition costs aside, one other major consideration for your daughter is qualification for National Merit. Because she scores highly on the SSAT, she is likely to also score highly on the PSAT. There is a HUGE difference in the PSAT score cutoff between NEngland prep schools vs. Louisiana. NEngland prep schools always have the highest cutoff to qualify for National Merit Semifinalist (224 last year) and LA always has one of the lowest (209 last year). Her chances to qualify will be significantly more favorable in LA. NMSF status can mean scholarship money for college…
[PSAT-</a> National Merit Scholarships and Semifinalist State Cutoff Scores](<a href=“http://hubpages.com/hub/National-Merit]PSAT-”>http://hubpages.com/hub/National-Merit)</p>
<p>If it turns out that BS is not economically feasible for your family, then console yourselves in knowing that by staying in LA, your daughter’s chances of being a NMSF are significantly better.</p>
<p>As always, thanks Cameo. I always enjoy hearing your advice. I do understand what you are saying. Giving over my entire bring home paycheck is just too much to ask. I do get it. I know the responsibly is mine. I could live on less - but not my entire check. I just never imagined - that’s the shock. The main reason my daughter wants to attend these schools is to get away from our dismal local high school. I can’t spend all my bring home pay and leave her younger brother, just a year behind her in school, to stay here in this school. I would never be able to move and I’d be forced to stay here with no regard for my son’s education - while spending all my bring home pay for my daughter. I must think about both my kids. </p>
<p>I’ll be praying for good news on March 10 and hopefully a scholarship at one of the schools. Fingers crossed… </p>
<p>Thanks to everyone!! I just needed to vent a little…</p>
<p>I hear you, LA. I’m glad you weren’t offended by my reply.
I can pull this off with one child…barely…
But it is much more complex when there are two. I am really hoping for you to have a positive outcome on March 10. And congrats to your girl for those great scores! :)</p>
<p>Cameo, nope - I have thick skin. LOL! We’ve talked before and I always appreciate your help and advice. I don’t want sugar coatings - I need to hear the truth. This is all so incredibly new to me. </p>
<p>And, you’re right, Ruleitang - little brother would resent knowing his whole entire life is being changed because of his sister’s schooling. He’s a gifted learner, too, but has zero interest in a boarding school. He wants to stay here, play basketball with his friends, and graduate. Two kids but polar opposites. I can’t give one the moon and the other nothing…I couldn’t live with myself.</p>
<p>BS kids are put in a separate category where the cutoff is the highest state cutoff in the greater geographic area where the BS is. You can read it on the National Merit Org website.</p>
<p>Last year that cutoff for NEngland BS was 224, vs only 209 for LA. SevenDad reported that the Mid-Atlantic BS cutoff last year was also 224. PSAT scores are essentially SAT scores w the last zero place lopped off. So a 224 PSAT score is like a 2240 SAT score, and a 209 PSAT score is like a 2090 SAT score-- a huge difference for qualifying…</p>
<p>If making NMSF is a high priority to u for garnering college merit scholarships, then staying in your home state could be a better tactical bet.</p>
<p>Financial aid offers can vary GREATLY from school to school, do don’t worry (or count your chickens) yet. </p>
<p>The amount we were asked to contribute at one school was 20 times higher than the amount we were asked to contribute at another school. So the variation can be huge. </p>
<p>Also, the schools that offered the most aid were NOT the ones we expected. </p>
<p>I would suggest that you and your husband decide what you feel you are willing/able to contribute and let your daughter know right away. That way, when March 10 rolls around she will know that there needs to be not only an acceptance, but also an aid offer that fits your budget. </p>
<p>Now, I know of parents who ended up choosing schools where their cost was a real struggle for them. Some have found it worth it, some have not. It depends in so many, many things – what your school options are at home, how much of a struggle/sacrifice it really is (there’s a difference between having to give up eating out and having to give up eating.) What you are looking for your daughter to gain from a boarding school experience…</p>
<p>In the end we chose a school that is a real stretch for us financially. It hasn’t been easy, but, so far, we are happy with the choice. </p>
<p>I wish you the best of luck as you make this decision.</p>
<p>I’m a little late to the discussion, but I think I have some helpful advice for you. I’ma a current boarding school student, but when I applied my parents made it clear that they would not spend over a certain amount for me to go to boarding school, even though they could afford it. The acceptances came, and my FA was too low for my parents to stomach. But I didn’t waste months writing essays and doing interviews for nothing, so I wrote an appeal to the financial aid office explaining the whole situation and they raised my FA the necessary amount.</p>
<p>I think it’s perfectly fine for a family who is able to pay to decide, for whatever reason, that BS is not worth it to them beyond a certain price point. Every family has their own set of circumstances to consider. </p>
<p>But speaking as a parent for whom “what we are able to pay” and “what we are willing to pay” are the same, it pretty much ****es me off that a school would offer more FA to a family who doesn’t need it just because they ask.</p>