<p>(After an Ivy rejection)</p>
<p>Posted on the Admissions Forum. No time to post the link here. Someone can for me. </p>
<p>So sad.</p>
<p>Article in local paper said he HAD been admitted to an Ivy. Still extremely sad.</p>
<p>latest online update ...even sadder. He was accepted at at least one Ivy...</p>
<p>But on Wednesday night, Mr. Toskovich was upset after being involved in a minor automobile accident on his way to a college interview, Mr. Easson said a mutual friend told him. </p>
<p>Whether he missed the interview was not clear. </p>
<p>“He came back home and said he couldn’t do it anymore,” Mr. Easson said.</p>
<p>He said that Mr. Toskovich later sent e-mail and text messages to friends saying he loved them, and telling them goodbye. It was not known how many were sent, or when anyone might have noticed the messages. Mr. Easson heard about them through a friend.</p>
<p>How tragic. I used to live in the next town over. This is why I work constantly to keep my son, who tends to be an overachiever perfectionist, out of the pressure cooker mindset, and stress the importance of enjoying his high school years, with a lot of downtime. By "can't take it anymore" I'm assuming the boy meant the pressure would never end. Really, really sad.</p>
<p>I do think that the amount of pressure that kids put on them selves and sometims well meaning parents put on kids to get in to a "good school" has really gotten out of hand.</p>
<p>THere seems to be multiple versions of the story as the article aS the media rushes to get the story out (fact checking must be a thing of the past). The article that E is referring to by ABC News
states:</p>
<p>
[quote]
There are reports this evening that the victim did not get into the Ivy League school that was his top choice. Still, no one understands why he was so depressed that he took his own life.
[/quote]
</p>
<p><a href="http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=local&id=5016481%5B/url%5D">http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=local&id=5016481</a> </p>
<p>the NY times article states:</p>
<p>
[quote]
The family did not want to identify which Ivy League college he planned to attend, but a friend said he had applied to Harvard, Cornell and Columbia, his top choice. </p>
<p>
[/quote]
</p>
<p>this is a process of elimination: If he had been admitted to Columbia or Cornell, both schools are ED so he would have had to withdrawn applications from 2 schools. He also could not apply to 2 of the 3 choices at the same time during the ED/ SCEA round.</p>
<p>Had he applied to Harvard, EA he has probably not even heard from Columbia or Cornell regarding an acceptance. He could have only been admitted into Harvard if he wasstill continuing with the application process.</p>
<p>So, it sounds like he got into Harvard EA. And he commits suicide?</p>
<p>
[quote]
So, it sounds like he got into Harvard EA. And he commits suicide?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Maybe that's the pressure that would never end. Maybe he didn't want to go to Harvard, but felt that he had to.</p>
<p>If somebody commits suicide, chances are there's a lot more to it than what college they got into. There are way more underlying issues there than, "I didn't get into Yale, my life isn't worth living".</p>
<p>Chedva:</p>
<p>Well, no. He did not HAVE to go to Harvard. I know plenty of students who have sabotaged themselves either in the application or at the interview stage if they do not really want to go to a particular college. Presumably, he did not do so. Presumably, his parents allowed him to apply elsewhere: the due date for RD is two weeks after students hear the outcome of their EA applications. He was allowed to go to an interview. And he had until May 1 to work to change his parents' mind if he did not want to go to Harvard. And if he got into Harvard, his chances of getting into Columbia or Cornell were pretty good.</p>
<p>I agree with groovinhard. All this is sheer speculation on the part of the reporters and we are going along with it. Nobody commits suicide because s/he has been admitted into a college--Harvard or not.</p>
<p>sybbie, I did the same simple analysis. Problem is, that quote is "a friend said" so it's all hearsay. It's not at all clear where he applied and where he got in and where he didn't get in, but his family doesn't want to say so even the information coming from "school officials" may not be accurate. However..... if he applied early, those decisions came back over a month ago, and regular decisions are not out yet. It's natural to ask "why?" in a situation like this, but I think it is a mistake to immediately assume he was moved to act over a college rejection. He could have had other entirely different problems. It is truly sad and pointless.</p>
<p>(groovinhand, I was typing while you were posting. Same thought)</p>
<p>It seems like this suicide has nothing to do with his admission to the ivy league or not. It makes no sense to commit suicide after getting in.</p>
<p>I'm going to say that the reasons for his suicide are unrelated to college at all.</p>
<p>This ties into the discussion on the very heartbreaking suicide at Stanford a couple of weeks ago. There was a good article on the subject, linked below. A very complex problem, but hard to solve because it seems that undiagnosed depression is at the root cause of many, and often just doesn't manifest itself in any obvious way.</p>
<p>"A very complex problem, but hard to solve because it seems that undiagnosed depression is at the root cause of many, and often just doesn't manifest itself in any obvious way."</p>
<p>Yes, that's very true. I think newspapers and everyone else are just spinning wheels trying to put together facile reasons. </p>
<p>It is just very sad.</p>
<p>Today on NPR they had a progrom discussing teen and young adult suicide. Teens often have little impulse control, and in the moment, doing something drastic feels like is something they have to do...</p>
<p>why do young people drive fast, try to beat the train, do serious drugs- they often can't see the serious consequences and suicide is no different</p>
<p>It can take what an adult might see as a minor, get over it get past it event to push an already vulnerable young adult over the edge</p>
<p>they can decide to kill themselves in a very rash moment- asking young people who attempted suicide but were unsucessful, many said it was an event that pushed them and it was something they decided fairly quickly</p>
<p>and they were glad in hindsite the attempt failed, but their insights as to why they tried were varied but had a common thread of being impulsive</p>
<p>many did not have the "classic" symptoms of depression, but looking back, parents did say there were things they missed</p>
<p>no one blaims the parents, but it is an issue that is larger than just the young person, suicides don't happen in a bubble of depression, often there is a catalyst for a teen</p>
<p>citygirlsmom,
So true. The prefrontal cortex of the brain is the part that allows humans to anticipate consequences and keep perspective on risky behaviors/outcomes. It's also the last part of the brain to come online, so to speak, usually by age 24 or so (later for young men than for women). Combine that with biochemical issues such as depression or anxiety or even circumstances that pressure kids and it's easier to see how even the most successful young person might be overwhelmed and act rashly. I feel so badly for his parents and friends. What a tragedy.</p>