Starting this thread to discuss jewelry and who should inherit it. Figured it needed its own thread!
When my mom died, she had some jewelry. We have one daughter and one son. Her will specified that her jewelry should be divided evenly between these grandchildren. She clearly didn’t think only the granddaughter should inherit.
We will do the same…any jewelry will be divided between our son and daughter. Actually, we probably will give it to them sooner.
Re: the value of jewelry…it only has a certain value IF someone will pay you that amount.
When my grandmother died my mother (only child) took all her jewelry. When my mother died, my sister and I split everything. We laid out all the stuff on a table and since she was older she chose first (her suggestion). We picked one by one until everything of value was taken. The funny thing is most of the pieces that I chose were the ones that had originally been my grandmothers.
When my mother in law died my sister in law took the pieces she wanted and gave me the rest (she has no children and I have a daughter). She actually gave me the more valuable pieces (I guess figuring they should go to my daughter - the only grandchild).
My husband had already taken the rings which were his fathers and his grandfathers. His grandfathers’s diamond ring was given to him when we got engaged. The diamond was set into my engagement ring and the men’s ring was reset with a cubic zirconia for my husband to wear.
So, thanks to these inheritances, I have two extra diamond engagement rings in my home (one from each side of the family) which my daughter can choose from if she wants as an engagement ring some day.
We did split my mom’s jewelry between my brother and I, but honestly only because he has a daughter that we wanted to inherit pieces from her grandmother. My brother asked my permission to gift a ring to his partner and gave me right of first refusal.
If my brother only had sons, the jewelry would have gone to me and we would have evened out the value in other ways.
Similarly, my brother took most of my dad’s jewelry. My husband is very into watches and my brother had him pick out one of my dad’s to keep. If our D doesn’t have a son, we’ll will the watch back to my nephew.
I’m not overly sentimental about “stuff” but my mom loved her jewelry and many pieces represented a trip or milestone. She wore certain things all the time and they remind us of her.
My H’s grandmother specified who would get what. The two grandsons each got a diamond from her wedding ring - they aren’t that big, but there is sentimental value. H gave me his, setting it in a custom made engagement setting. His cousin did not do that (said it was too small … I don’t have extravagant tastes!).
I am the only girl, and my dad gave me my mom’s engagement & wedding rings. The crematory stole my dad’s wedding ring, so I offered my mom’s wedding band to my three living brothers. One had a daughter who was particularly close to my dad, so we all agreed that she should have it. None of the jewelry is worth a whole lot, other than sentimental value.
My MIL has several rings & a diamond necklace, and at one time, she told me who was getting what. Her D gets her most prized ring, each grandchild gets a ring, and I get a diamond necklace. Most of it is in a bank vault. I don’t remember now who is supposed to get what, and she didn’t spell it out in her will. I told my H that he needs to get her to write it down.
My mother is still alive, but I assume that my brothers and I will split everything evenly. They both have daughters. My mother has already made sure each granddaughter received a diamond ring.
My mother-in-law left all jewelry to her only daughter. Our daughter will receive nothing from her grandmother except for a few pieces she gave me over the years while she was alive. I refuse to ever wear any of it again.
My granmother had earrings that she wore every day of her life (I don’t remember her wearing any other ones.) After she died, although my mother took all of her jewelry, I think she felt like she could never wear those earrings. I took them to a jeweler and had them made into a pair of pendants - one for my sister and one for me. So that was a case of restyling that I think was a great idea.
My mom passed without a will. My sister and I sorted through her jewelry and just chose the stuff we wanted. I chose her diamond earrings. The diamonds are not good quality (friend in business told me) and the design is super basic, but I love wearing them anyway. My sister kept a diamond pendant (no idea if it’s good quality or not) and wore it when she got remarried last year.
I think I let my sister and niece keep all the other stuff, of which there was quite a lot: assorted rings mostly with colored stones, but probably nothing really valuable. I am not interested in jewelry I’ll never wear and I was very sure my daughter wouldn’t want any of it.
If there had been some really valuable stuff, it might have been different, but we don’t think there was.
I do have some pretty nice diamond jewelry. I hadn’t thought about letting my son have it, but actually, thanks to this comment…
…I guess it would be nice to let my son have something too. Maybe he will give it to his future wife.
As it stands now I inherit all of my mom’s jewelry. On her side of the family they are/were firm believers that only females should inherit it. I think this goes back to something from her father (who died in his 30’s) being the only boy and having either 4 or 5 (I can’t remember) sisters and when his parents died nothing was left to my grandmother or his children. I can understand my grandmother (his widow) not getting anything but cutting the grandchildren out (2 girls) not sure. So that attitude of it staying with girls only I believe comes from that.
Also, with the number of divorces and stories my grandma always heard I think she worried that if an heirloom or some other piece of jewelry was given to a wife and not returned in a divorce that would cause issues too.
I loved my first engagement ring and while it wasn’t in my ex husband’s family I did have the stone reset into a necklace and have told my girls it will be theirs one day. If they want it back as a ring then fine it’ll be up to them.
After my current husband and I got married his mother gave me some diamond ring she had. I have no idea why she didn’t give it to his first wife that he was married to for more than 25 years. I thought that was odd as well as to her not holding it for his daughters but there’s no relationship there now either. The setting was hideous, the stone was filthy and has a huge chip in it. I took it to our jeweler who was able to reset that into a necklace also. Different shape and smaller than the engagement stone but again something my kids will have along with my current ring.
As for my boys, until they even have a SO in their lives all jewelry is going to my girls as specified in my current will. I’m not worried about them feeling slighted but I know there are other things I can give them that they will be happy with.
As for my mother’s jewelry, my father for years has wanted her to update her will so that I don’t get all of it. She refuses. She has terminal cancer and hasn’t done anything with her estate plan but I’ve made it clear that my nieces will also be taken care of. There are some lovely pieces she has that should be shared with others as I’m just not a fancy person and it’s also a way that her life and memory can be cherished. I have some jewelry from my other grandma and I think of her every time I look at it. I would love my nieces and daughters to feel the same way about my mom when she’s no longer here.
My MIL has made it plain that there are two valuable diamond rings in her estate , and that she has two daughters to inherit them. I’m good with that. Funny thing, The much more valuable of the two was the ring she inherited from her husbands side.
I am an only daughter so inherited all that my parents had. I have but never wear my mother’s jewelry. Dh and I have an only son. He has no significant other, so grandchildren are only a glimmer in my eye at this point.
Dh and I have the one son and dh’s sister has one daughter. Those two are the only grandchildren my mother-in-law has. When mil was here visiting in late April/early May she talked about giving her wedding/engagement ring to our ds. I told her absolutely not - jewelry goes through daughters. She has a daughter who has a daughter - that is where her ring should go. I immediately texted my sil about this. She protested saying her dd would likely just sell it and buy cheap wine - lol. I told her that would be her prerogative. I think mil thinks it is more likely that ds will eventually marry and have children than it is that my niece will.
Maybe it’s a Southern thing, but I say jewelry goes to daughters. If you only have sons, then it obviously goes to sons. If the jewelry were worth a lot, I would hope for some sort of equalization. Mil’s ring doesn’t fall into a category of value that I would classify as material.
If I ever have any granddaughters, I will specify via a holographic codicil that my jewelry go to them and skip over ds.
At least she is up front about it. The worst I think is when people do things like that and don’t divulge in advance. It often just creates issues later for the survivors. My friend’s father cut both her brothers out of his will and she had to deal with the fallout of them both suing over it. They of course lost but it causes years of problems in their relationship. And, she was willing to split her share with them 1/3 each to begin with. Their issue was that her father gave a chunk to her daughter also and they wanted 1/3 of that too. Unreal.
I restyled, and am so happy I did. I would never have worn the piece as it was, and now I have a couple of different looks instead. My sister did also. I don’t think it makes the memory anything ‘less’ because it would have sat in a drawer unworn if I hadn’t had it taken apart, and made up. I receive compliments whenever I wear it.
My parents didn’t specify who should get the jewelry, but they left everything to my brothers and me to be divided equally. My brothers had zero interest in the jewelry even though some of it was worth quite a bit. My daughter and my niece and I had fun looking through it all and dividing it up.
In my immediate family, the most interesting piece is a diamond ring that I dug up in my front yard while planting sunflowers 23 years ago. It was a half karat diamond in a tiny platinum Tiffany setting ring. We dubbed it the Sunflower Diamond and it lived in a little box on the mantle until my husband and I took it to a jeweler and had it made into a pendant for my daughter’s 18 birthday. I wonder who will get that in the future and if the story of it will live on.
My mother was lovely about giving her jewelry away to her DDs and granddaughters after Dad died, as she felt she had nowhere to wear it & she could enjoy them using it. She even gave her wedding ring away about a year before she died, she happened to give it to the granddaughter who asked for it as a teenager. I am not sure if that was the right way to do it, or not, but there were other items she gave to people who had asked for them, years ago, years before anyone else thought to ask, or was rude enough to ask So, at least she was consistent.
My Dad had a few sentimental items and we were able to get him to tell us about everything except his wedding ring, because our mother was wearing it, we forgot to ask. Now she is gone and we are not quite sure who should get it, so we kids are taking turns wearing it and I love that.
My FIL was kind of OCD about the jewelry, we got MIL to make a list of who got what & I did restyle the item I got & love it. Anything not specifically given to someone was sold.
I have a complicated family history but my mom’s aunt worked hard her whole life and did quite well while her husband did not. She died first and her hubby bought himself this gaudy ruby ring - seriously big, seriously ugly, and seriously expensive. My mom’s face turned the exact same shade of red whenever she saw him wearing it. My mom was the beneficiary of their estate and the first thing she did was have that ruby reset into a pendant for herself and it still makes her so angry that she never wears it. I can’t wait until I have to deal with it…
I just got my Mother’s wedding set last fall. I asked a similar question here on CC and decided the cost was not worth it. Plus, I have her hands and it makes me feel closer to her when I wear it and look down. I see her hands. I wear it from time to time instead of my own ring.
I have 2 boys. It sort of makes me sad I don’t have a girl to pass the jewelry to. I think it’s nice for these things to be passed down to daughters. Divorces happen. Who knows what family an heirloom will eventually belong to.
I have a very small diamond, and DS has some from his grandma. We think it will be nice if he someday wants to use those family stones for an engagement ring should he someday want that.
My sister-in-law’s husband loves watches and collected antique Rolexs for over 50 years. He recently sold them all because nobody would be interested in them after he died. He is estranged from his sons from his first marriage and my sister-in-law inherits everything (along with my daughter as she is my sister-in-law’s heir).
If all the jewelry goes through daughters what about the jewelry the men owned (expensive watches like I mention)?
So, at least she was consistent.