<p>Well first I want to say that it seems cool that you guys care enough about getting your kid into college to use this website! Let me explain my situation:
My ENTIRE family went to the University of Missouri-Columbia (AKA Mizzou, I live in STL), including my older sister (she's there now in grad school for accounting). I love visiting Columbia, I always have since I was very young. My ACT score (32) qualifies me for a pretty good scholarship to Mizzou in addition to in state tuition.</p>
<p>THIS BEING SAID, I have visited UNC and since I've been in high school I've come to the conclusion that I don't REALLY want to go to Mizzou. My first choice is UNC. My parents have given me this impression that if I don't get into UNC, I'm going to Mizzou. My mom has actually pretty much told me that they are humoring me by visiting other schools (I'm going to visit Michigan and Pitt even though my mom has said I'm not going to either of those schools). I think that I could qualify for a good amount of scholarship money at other OOS schools and I would be happier there. My dad seems to understand me and has told me I have a very good amount of money saved to go where ever I want.</p>
<p>The problem is that when I start applying to schools this fall, my mom will constantly tell me that I'm not going to any of these schools. So how can I further convince my parents to become more interested in the idea of me going to an OOS school other than UNC? I really want to go to Wisconsin, Michigan, or Pitt if I'm not accepted to UNC and accepted there!</p>
<p>Well, I don’t specifically know about your situation, but I have been teasing both my son and daughter about going to my (and my husband’s) college since they were little. Insisting they go there actually. So my son is in college in California (our college was in Pennsylvania) and my daughter is a senior in high school deciding on where to go to school. Our college is still in the mix right now but honestly, I want her to be happy so she can go to my school or one of the other four schools she got into. It’s her life, not mine. I bet deep down your parents know it is your life and your time to decide things.</p>
<p>You do realize that when you are at a public university as an OOS, the cost of tuition is really high (in some places ~50K/yr). UVA and UNC are 2 which give need based financial aid. The rest- not so much. Unless you are in a position to get major merit $$ from the other schools on your list, they could be financially out of reach for your family. If this is the case, I understand where your parents are coming from. Unless you are independently weathy, they will be the ones paying. This means they have every right to say how much they are willing to pay or borrow for your education. Whether or not the rest of us agree with it, we will not be the ones writing your tuition checks. </p>
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<p>It is one thing to say this, it is another to pay out ove4 $200k cash money should you not receive any need based financial aid or merit $$.
They will not be the first parents to say that you have a perfectly fine state U in your own back yard where you can essentially go for free, why should be pay?</p>
<p>My recommendation is to run your numbers through the fafsa4caster, so you will have some idea of what your EFC is going to be. Then research each school so you will know their financial aid policy. Also know what it takes to get merit money from these schools. Do your home work, and present your findings to your parents. This will show them that you are responsible, financially you understand the cost of college, and you are willing to shoulder some of the responsibility.</p>
<p>“It’s her life, not mine. I bet deep down your parents know it is your life and your time to decide things.”</p>
<p>It may be his life, but it’s their money and their choice. And frankly, I think that they are making the right choice in this case. While employment opportunities from Wisconsin, Michigan and North Carolina may be marginally better than those from Missouri, its not worth the extra money. And frankly, otherwise state schools are pretty much fungible.</p>
<p>You can just go to whatever school you want and can afford. As an adult, you get to do what you want even if you parents disagree with your choice.</p>
<p>All your parents can do is withhold money, and I don’t think they will do that. They should at least contribute the same amount as they would have had to gone to the instate university.</p>
<p>Mikey, Is there an underlying factor in choosing these particular oos publics or do you just really want to get out of Missouri? If it is the latter, there are probably other oos publics where you would be more likely to get merit aid which might make your parents look more favorably on your desire to go oos.</p>
<p>Well I’m taking the ACT again because I took it last Fall and am preparing this time. And I think I can get some financial aid. I realize that OOS it’s hard to get financial aid for a public university. I have done my homework and looked at these universities and have seen that they have great programs for what I want to do and have the same campus atmosphere I want. Again, these will be other schools if I don’t get into UNC (which I probably won’t) I want to keep my out of state options open.</p>
That would be very little, since the student is likely to get merit aid at Mizzou.</p>
<p>If your parents are willing to let you go to UNC, they might let you go to other schools, but you’d have to convince them that they are better for you. (I am not at all sure they are…) If they are willing to visit, which is expensive and time-consuming, I bet they are not categorically opposed to those schools.</p>
<p>You might get merit aid at Pitt, and you might qualify for honors college there, as well as at your other schools. </p>
<p>Don’t even think about “acting like an adult” by taking out loans to fund your OOS education on your own. It will be a stupid decision that you will regret for many years.</p>
<p>Does your mother need reassurance? Sometimes an independent student, going away to school is frightening. We know they might never live at home again. We also sometimes fear they might. But in your case, mom might be dreading not seeing you regularly at the family table.
And I agree, don’t try to fund ug yourself for oos tuition. Get great grades and go to UNC for graduate school rather than take on much debt for ug.</p>
<p>Interesting. I am a Mizzou grad with a son who is a junor and has a 33 on his ACT. He has grown up going to Columbia at least six times a year–we are football season ticket holders.</p>
<p>Merit aid at Mizzou pales in comparison to other states. Mizzou gives only ONE full-ride and 10 scholarships of $10,000. We’ve done math. With a 32, you qualify for Curators at $3,500 (if you’re in the top 5% of your class) and Bright Flight at $2,000. Still that makes a year at Mizzou about $11,000.</p>
<p>Wisconsin, Michigan, and UNC (I don’t know about Pitt) are not known for great merit aid for OOS. They cost at least $30,000 a year. So what do they have that you can’t find at Mizzou for $19,000 a year less? Is it a major that Mizzou doesn’t have? Better basketball? You need some worthwhile reason other than “I just want to go to UNC” to justify almost $80,000 in extra costs for your parents. Most parents would listen to alternatives to their alma mater given a valid reason. </p>
<p>Our son wants to major in nuclear engineering. Mizzou doesn’t have an undergraduate program in it. But he will still apply and knows he can be happy there majoring in some form of engineering with a nuclear minor. He will also to apply MIT (a serious reach in many ways), Purdue (where he qualifies for in-state tuition due to his ACT) and two other schools yet determined. He will go where we can afford to send him without borrowing outside our means.</p>
<p>If you want your parents to listen to your request to go out-of-state, you need a persuasive argument and valid reasons. It’s their money.</p>
<p>If your grades are good and especially if you can also bring your ACT up to a 34 or so, you have a good chance of getting a full tuition scholarship at Pitt, especially if you apply in early fall. Pitt also seems to be giving out $4,000 per year as scholarship $ to honors engineering students, and students on the Pitt forum mention that this is in addition to other scholarships such as full tuition. Students admitted to the honors college generally seem to also receive invitations to apply for the Chancellor’s scholarship, which includes room and board in addition to full tuition, and Chancellor’s runners-up (those who got interviews - about one in five sending in a completed application) reported receiving full tuition if they hadn’t already.</p>
<p>Would your parents really insist that you turn down that kind of an offer to pay more money to Mizzou???</p>
<p>Perhaps others on this board can mention other schools that might be attractive to you, that offer full tuition to more than a tiny handful of students each year.</p>
<p>Well I’m taking the ACT again because I took it last Fall and am preparing this time. And I think I can get some financial aid. I realize that OOS it’s hard to get financial aid for a public university. I have done my homework and looked at these universities and have seen that they have great programs for what I want to do and have the same campus atmosphere I want. Again, these will be other schools if I don’t get into UNC (which I probably won’t) I want to keep my out of state options open.</p>
<p>Since your dad says that he has a lot saved for your college, that suggests that you won’t qualify for aid…especially at any OOS schools.</p>
<p>your only hope is really merit scholarships. With an ACT 32, you will have a few OOS options… There is a difference between merit $$ and financial aid…FA is based on need, merit is based on stats.</p>
<p>See, I’ve very confused now. My college counselor has told me that I should apply to these schools but now the majority of the people that have responded here seem to be telling me to not bother. These other schools I’ve visited I’ve simply liked the programs and the “feel” of the campus and whatnot (however cliche it may sound) more than Mizzou or my other state schools. I’m pretty discouraged now seeing as it looks like there’s absolutely no way to pay for out of state school…</p>
<p>You have nothing to loose by applying (other than the app fee), and at some of the schools you might get merit aid that would make them comparable to Mizzou, especially if you get even higher ACT score, and assuming you have a high GPA.</p>
<p>UIUC also used to give merit scholarships to top OOS students - not sure if they still do.</p>
<p>But even if none of these work out, Mizzou, as you know, is not a bad choice. And most students realize by the end of freshmen year that it could be nice to be closer to home…</p>
<p>Don’t forget to look at some of the private schools. Sometimes they can surprise you with what they have to offer – both in programs and in merit aid. </p>
<p>This is a great time to start some leadership/partnership with your parents as adults to adults. Listen respectively to their two opinions. Offer your own in a thoughtful (not demanding) way. Agree to apply to two schools that they pick (one per parent) and ask them to respectfully support your application to two school you pick. </p>
<p>After that it is STUPID (strong word but the right one) to argue until April of your senior year when you get your acceptance/award letters. Your mom might like UNC just fine if they happen to roll out the red carpet for you. Wait to argue until the details are on the table. If it turns out that UNC is $$$$$ and Mizzou is $ then your own assessment might change too. </p>
<p>Strive. Apply. Wait for acceptance details. THEN have the big discussion.</p>
<p>We are not telling you “don’t bother”, I think we are telling you to go into this with your eyes wide open, especially when it comes to the cost associated with attending a public university as an OOS. This is why we are telling you to do your home work now so you won’t be disappointed next April when you find out that you have been admitted and you cannot afford to attend.</p>
<p>So once again, have the money talk with your parents. Find out how much they are willing to borrow or pay for your education. Find out hat financial papameters they are setting and figure out how you can work within those guidelines.</p>
<p>mikey, go to the “colleges” section of this forum. Under “n” click on the UNC-CH section.
There is a long thread there about oos students accepted/denied to UNC-CH this Spring.
It might give you a better feel for what you’re going for.</p>
<p>Mikey, please read the earlier post made by “olderwisermom”. Then read it again and again.</p>
<p>At the end of the day, hopefully your parents will support your decision. But if that decision results in a huge difference in cost, they will appreciate you being smart with your final decision. Did UNC feel $80,000 better than Mizzou?</p>
<p>If money is not an issue, then count yourself lucky and go where it “feels” better. </p>
<p>FWIW, I think the experience at most flagship universities is very similar. In other words, Mizzou, UNC, and Wisconsin are much more alike than they are different.</p>
<p>Here in PA we have lots of parents who feel similarly about Penn State. Nonetheless, once their children start receiving offers from other schools (including rival Pitt as well as privates and OOS publics) that include generous merit offers or admission to specialized programs, they are almost always open to other possibilities. As long as your parents have not told you that you cannot apply to other schools, I would go ahead and apply (after applying to Mizzou) and see where you stand next spring.</p>
<p>Our family is kind of the opposite to yours. Our children did not want to attend any of the schools we (or a relative) had attended. (Nor follow the career path of anyone else in the family, for that matter…)It has been exciting if sometimes scary to see them strike out on their own.</p>