So Harvard is #1 in people wanting to create distance?
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Columbia went to the moon…
A Cornell Professor was the PI for the Mars Exploration Rover mission…
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Brown has not only won 3 consecutive Ivy rugby men’s championships but they are undefeated in their pursuit of a second consecutive National Championship.
At first I was upset when my kid told me he had become a hooker and loved to ruck.
GO BRUNO!!
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Wait…isn’t Bates a “top Ivy” oh wait…Bates is a little Ivy! 
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I was going to make the Columbia/space thing a morbid attempt at humor, but thought better of it.
No, go for it!
Most kids want to go to an Ivy to make big money. Since the color of money is green, Dartmouth is the top ivy as it is their official color. Go big green!!
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(In through the nose, out through the mouth. Channeling serenity…)
Ivy most likely to suffer catastrophic failure:
Columbia
Well, and ivy itself is green, making Dartmouth the quintessential Ivy.
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Makes me wonder which Ivy has the most Ivy.
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Weeellll…This article seems to imply that the Ivy moniker is linked to Yale where buildings were covered what appeared to be ivy - making it look old and venerable - but get ready to clutch your pearls - the vines climbing Yale’s buildings is not actually ivy at all but Virginia creeper.
So Yale is the fakest Ivy League school.
Although Wikepedia offers other explanations for the term ivy, including the folk etymology of Roman numeral IV. Another explanation is the seniors at Penn had a tradition of planting ivy every spring and leading to a celebration called Ivy Day. All that planting then would make Penn the dirtiest Ivy?
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LOL – the Creeper League doesn’t sound as cool.
ETA: maybe we can make it a CC inside joke.
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So Yale is the creepiest Ivy!
And Cornell has an Ag school so it is the dirtiest.
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Columbia:
– Most dense Ivy (student population vs area, but feel free to interpret more broadly 
)
– Most radioactive Ivy
– Most likely to start riots if you try to improve their really bad, overcrowded gym Ivy
– Most tax-evading landlord Ivy (though they are all pretty competitive for this prize)
– Most expensive Ivy
Not just Ivies, but that last sentence of the first verse… Well, he is a Harvard alum.
Princeton hasn’t been mentioned much, so maybe they are the top Ivy for producing rappers. Parental Advisory - Explicit Lyrics.
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I bet we can find raps from all of the schools now. This one isn’t as punchy as the Princeton one but filled with inside jokes (including “kind and clever” which Columbia in accepted students day claims is what they look for to make the final cut). Starting at 1:20 they describe what “partying” is like at Columbia…
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I realize this is totally off topic, but these videos reminded me of this one that got me through some dark days as a grad student 
(Could apply to any Ivy…or non-Ivy.)
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Columbia - the most Teutonic:
