<p>@midwestmomofboys, I am a northeast mom of boy, and your post really affected me. You are in many ways describing my own child. The decision he recived from Oberlin was different, but in the end that doesn’t mean all that much. It seems we have both raised independent thinking, interesting children. That’s what counts, and that’s what will be most relevant to their future - not whether Oberlin says yes or no. You most certainly have not failed. All of the Moms and Dads on this board have succeeded in the most important task given to each of us, which is raising our children so that they are confident young adults ready to go tackle the world independent of us. You have very much succeeded.</p>
<p>Midwestmomofboys, your son sounds like the kind of person that many other fine schools would want. Oberlin is a wonderful college, yes, but there’s more than just one “right” school out there for everyone. I’m sure many other schools will accept him, and I know it may be hard right now, but it’s important to remember that in the end, he will still go to a wonderful college, get a great education, and not be permanently scarred by it.</p>
<p>In February, I auditioned for the Conservatory, and the dual-degree program was my dream education. I placed a lot of stakes on the conservatory, and I felt ready. I went into the warmup rooms and felt great. I wasn’t nervous at all until I walked into the audition itself, where I proceeded to get nervous and play the worst I have in years.</p>
<p>I sat in the car and cried for an hour after that, but then I realized–
I will never be an Oberlin double-degree student, no. I don’t need my impending letter to know that. I had my chance, and I blew it. But I’ve got 8 liberal arts college acceptances, and I know that I will go somewhere and be truly happy.</p>
<p>It’s difficult to be rejected from a dream school, but you haven’t short-changed your kids at all, like mrky said. It’s the luck of the draw sometimes. :)</p>
<p>Best of luck for your son-- hopefully he’ll be okay and will be marvelously happy and successful wherever he goes.</p>
<p>ermsyp – you sound wonderfully mature and thoughtful, my very best wishes to you. I am sure you will have wonderful opportunities wherever you are, given your outlook. Thank you for your kind support. </p>
<p>mrky – thanks too, I am proud of my infuriating son, he drives me nuts but will be an interesting adult with much to contribute. I have been the researcher for the past year, learning as much as I could about this process. I thought I understood how brutal this process was for kids, and my son didn’t go anywhere near schools we didn’t think he was a good candidate for. I understand that even 30% acceptance rates mean 7/10 are rejected, but I had really believed that he was such a perfect fit at Oberlin that his flaws wouldn’t stand in the way. </p>
<p>He isn’t upset by this in the least as he feels more comfortable at a big school after doing visits to big schools after Oberlin and Grinnell. If he hadn’t come to that realization though, Oberlin would have been his top choice, though I suppose he would have applied to other LACs like College of Wooster and Beloit if that is the only direction he wanted to go. </p>
<p>We are lucky that he had moved on from Oberlin and I know there are other kids who were declined for whom it was their absolute first choice. I guess I just didn’t realize how brutal this process is until we got to the end of it. </p>
<p>Good luck everyone, with your decisions.</p>
<p>My S is much as you describe also, Midwestmomofboys, and got his waitlist letter from Oberlin yesterday. He has a great attitude and never had a “dream” or top school. Oberlin and Bard were his favorites, and he is in at Bard and waiting to see if aid makes it affordable. In the meantime he has acceptances with sufficient aid from 2 wonderful schools so he is grateful and happy. It’s funny - I also felt a little disappointed about Oberlin but much as he loved the school he was just fine about it. I guess this doesn’t add much but a bit of commiseration.</p>
<p>Whoopee! I was accepted, and with wonderful finaid! :D</p>
<p>Great news, ermsy! We knew you could do it!</p>
<p>S was accepted to the College with a $12,000 scholarship offer. We’re still waiting on word from the Con.</p>
<p>Congrats to you! Very excited for you.</p>
<p>The process of applying to selective colleges and universities is horribly brutal - there’s no question about it. Congratulations to those who were admitted to Oberlin. It’s a fabulous school. But for those who are disappointed, it isn’t the only great school.</p>
<p>My son sounds a lot like some that have been described here. He didn’t get into a lot of (what were then) his “dream” colleges. He ended up at a less prestigious university. But he decided to work hard to earn entrance to a top LAC. And he did. He was admitted to both Oberlin and Wesleyan as a transfer student. He chose Oberlin and has loved every minute of it. So for those of you who are disappointed, there may be another way.</p>
<p>My daughter, three years later decided late in the process that Oberlin was her first choice. She kicked herself for not applying as an early decision candidate. When she was waitlisted, she was devastated. But when she was called off the waitlist, she realized she had fallen in love with her second choice school. Now a freshman, she can’t imagine going anywhere else - even Oberlin.</p>
<p>So, the message is, if you didn’t get into Oberlin or another favorite school, it is not the end of the world. ,</p>
<p>I still haven’t received my letter in the mail, but I know several of my classmates have - why would that be? Should I be worried/contact the admissions office? It’s driving me crazy not knowing and I hate to think of it lost in the mail somewhere ):</p>
<p>Never mind!! I got my letter today in the mail - a big one :)</p>
<p>Guys, now that most people have gotten their acceptances, I have a dilemma to share.
So, when I started my college search, I had this dream to be an Oberlin double-degree student. But then my oboe audition went catastrophically badly. Like, it was <em>terrible.</em> On the other hand, I was accepted to the liberal arts college with a marvelous financial aid package.
So here’s my question:
do you guys think I could still be happy there if I just go to the liberal arts college? I mean, I really love Oberlin, but I can’t bear the thought of having to be reminded of my failure on a regular basis. Also, what if I can’t get secondary lessons? :(</p>
<p>Ermsy, my son is a jazz studies major at the con. I can tell you a large number of his friends are non-con musicians and he plays in bands with them on a regular (and I mean really regular) basis all over campus. Granted this is jazz, and his friends are more contemporary musicians. However, one of his high school friends, with whom he was in youth orchestra, is a college (non-con) student violinist and was actually able to play in some Oberlin orchestras. Since you have a great deal of Oboe experience, I’d be surprised if you didn’t get secondary lessons. That being said, and I know you’ve already visited for your audition, if you could go to their visit days and ask, in person, these questions, I think you’d feel much better about your ultimate decision. I was just in Oberlin, and it really is an amazing school. Also, there is a great deal of music–and Oberlin specific–expertise in the Music Majors Forum, if you want to ask your questions there. I know you have great choices–good luck!</p>
<p>The Oberlin Obertones just visited my school last week for a concert, and told us that college majors are allowed to audition to play with the conservatory orchestra. Besides that, they also said that music is such a huge part of student life at Oberlin that you can still be heavily involved even if you are not part of the conservatory or a non-Music major. Hope that helps!</p>
<p>hi,
i know this thread is mostly regular admission students at this point, but does anyone know when transfer applicants should hear from oberlin? i’m super stressed out waiting to find out!!</p>
<p>ermsy: In addition to what others have said about there being lots of musical opportunities for non-con students, it’s also possible to apply to the double degree program from the college. One of my D’s friends did that.</p>
<p>ermsy, a high percentage of students in the College are/were just like you—high school musicians who either didn’t make it into the double degree program, or more likely, didn’t apply because they felt their skill level fell short of conservatory competition. My D was in the latter category. </p>
<p>It’s an honor being accepted into the College. Average HS academic stats are higher for College admittees than Con admittees (which makes sense since the number one qualification for the Conservatory is musical ability). Like qialah and others have said, if you really want musical opportunities in the Conservatory, you can get 'em. But you have to enroll at Oberlin first.</p>
<p>Without disagreeing with the comments above, there is definitely a difference when you’re a musician in college who’s serious and interested in pursuing music further…and being a musician in college who’s serious and interested in pursuing music further but you’re not in the conservatory. You have to go into this with your eyes wide open. You’re going to be around fabulous musicians at Oberlin…but you’ll very likely be Mr. Oboe elsewhere. You will have to work harder to not feel crowded out by others, but – again – you’ll be with very talented people and it’s hard to ask for a better environment to be in. It just won’t revolve around you. You may need to take a different approach to music – but I’m not putting a value judgment in there. If you’re prepared for different, then different can be the best thing to happen to you musically. But if you’re thinking it’s going to be the same as it would be at other colleges except that there’s a conservatory, it may be a tough row to hoe. This really ends up being something only you can answer. I imagine that the overwhelming majority of people who are in your shoes who choose Oberlin feel that they made a wise choice, musically speaking. But that’s because they made an informed choice and appreciated how the dynamic is different with a conservatory.</p>
<p>One possible path, ermsy, is to take lessons as a freshman at Oberlin and use them for the primary (or sole) purpose of killing the next Con audition. This isn’t something that should drive your decision now. You should be satisfied that Oberlin’s the right choice regardless of what may happen at that next audition. But you should be aware that the conservatory door is still open for you and you may find that you’ll be under the tutelage of the people who best know what the instructors expect at the audition. I also second what SJTH says about visiting to get a feel for what life is like as a musician in the College. There’s no shortage of students in that situation – presumably satisfied – who can give you an idea of what it’s like so that you can make an informed decision as to whether it would be satisfying to you.</p>
<p>ermsy: You would definitely be able to get secondary lessons at Oberlin as a College student. The only question is if you would be placed with an advanced Conservatory student who has had training in teaching, or with a Con faculty member. From what I hear from those who have taken secondary lessons, you typically end up with a great teacher either way. As others have pointed out, you do have access to the Conservatory resources as a College student, and will have another opportunity to audition into the Double-Degree program after your first year, if you decide that’s still something you’re interested in. If you’re worried about being “reminded of your failure,” an important thing to think about is that no one else will perceive you as a failure-- the Oberlin community in general is very accepting of musicians at all skill levels. </p>
<p>sayjay: Transfer decisions go out on a rolling basis, so you might hear from us anytime between now and about four weeks from now.</p>