<p>Not sure what to do with the other colleges. D1, a few years ago, simply voided responding--she just decided to forget about the colleges that accepted her. One school in the midwest offered her a full tuition scholarship. She just ignored them. No response. We did not apply for financial aid back then, so I didn't feel bad that she didn't respond to something we didn't ask for. That was then; this is now. This is D2. We did apply for financial aid and received it from all except the one public school on her list. Only Oberlin offered a scholarship.</p>
<p>Does D2 owe the other schools that accepted her some kind of response? We keep getting emails, letters (some addressed to her mom and me) and a few phone calls from student interns (I tell them she's not home) asking if she still has any questions. They don't usually come right out and ask if she's coming. D2 is very conflict avoidant. One top school put her on the waiting list, but rather than return the included "yes, I want to be on the waiting list" card by the deadline, she ignored it. I'm not sure what to do here.</p>
<p>Yes, absolutely, the other schools need to be notified. It’s incredibly rude not to. They need to be able to calculate who’s accepting, and until you notify them otherwise, they will continue to assume there’s a possibility you might accept.</p>
<p>Just let them know. It’s not personal, and shouldn’t be a conflict, but they need to know how much space they have. As soon as you notify the schools, you’ll potentially be opening up spots for other kids on the waitlists at those schools. It’s just the right thing to do.</p>
<p>Hmm, just judging by my brother’s experience, most schools have a form asking you whether or not you are attending, no? If not, I suggest email. That’s what I did to notify schools that I actually wouldn’t be applying after I got in early.</p>
<p>Shouldn’t she wait until May 1st to tell them? This may sound paranoid, but what if Oberlin discovers between now and May 1 that they accepted her by mistake and revokes it or something bizarre like that happens?</p>
<p>When you and your daughter are ready to bite the bullet, sit down at the computer and go to the admissions websites to see if you can decline on line; if not, get the email addresses of the admissions offices and send a short email declining. It will be harder for you than for them, because for you every school was a whole experience your daughter is giving up; for them it is a part of the admissions process: they will have waiting lists with eager students hoping for a slot.</p>
<p>Each of our D’s schools included a “Yes I’m coming/No I’m not” form, complete with a return envelope (many with return postage). I think all of them asked which school she would be attending, but obviously that’s for the college’s own admissions research and completely optional (she, however, proudly wrote OBERLIN).</p>
<p>Dear Plainsman: you do sound a bit paranoid. Oberlin is not going to revoke an acceptance for no good reason… .imagine the publicity!!</p>
<p>Perhaps we will meet in August when we drop off our kids. Also, I wouldn’t worry too much about your child goofing off once she gets there. The type of student that is admitted to Oberlin and other such schools is already a chronic overachiever and that will not change with college. I am actually going to tell my d to worry less about grades and more about really taking advantage of all that college has to offer… it only comes around once and there are certainly a few things I would have done differently if I could have a do-over, like focussing more on literature and less on political science, most of which is now irrelevant due to the fall of the Soviet Union though I can certainly hold my own in any cocktail party discussion about the Russian Revolution!!</p>