The “tell me if we are your top choice” call. It was awkward and I fumbled through it; playing this game is not something that comes naturally to me. She clearly feels a lot of pressure from admissions to deliver, yield-wise, on her recruits.
If they aren’t, the best you can say is “we’re still undecided.” The answer I like is “it depends on who you talk to in our house. We agreed not to argue about this until we knew what options were on the table – no point fighting about a choice we don’t have!”
That signals that the school has advocates in your home (good) but that you aren’t willing to commit today (which is true because you have another option you think you prefer but isn’t definitively an option).
Well, I wish I had asked you before that phone call! I honestly thought I was going to get away without having to answer it. I guess I was nieve. Apparently after applications are turned in is the time coaches crank it into high gear.
We answered truthfully (though the call came from others, not coaches): that we would have to compare financial aid offers before making a decision.
I’d have said, “Yes, my son/daughter absolutely loves your school and we would love for him/her to be there next year!”
It’s a completely unfair question aimed at achieving the best result for the school and optimizing their yield. Give a completely unfair answer aimed at achieving the best result for your child and optimizing his/her yield. At this stage in the game, you are dealing with the business side of the BSs…the sales department, so to speak. IMO, negotiate like a lion, so as not to be the lamb on M10.
“I can’t think of any other place I’d rather be next year than here”
This seems like a yes no question to me. If I were the coach, I would take anything other than: “Yes coach, you my top choice” as being: “No, coach, you are not my top choice.”
BTW - this is very different from being asked the same or similar question in an interview. You and your child did not have enough information to decide then. I personally think a thoughtful, non-commiting answer is good at that point. It shows maturity.
Answering vaguely at this point could only have a negative impact, IMO. They aren’t looking for thoughtfulness or maturity…they’re only looking to secure particular talents and maximize yield.
I simply stated the truth “yes, you are my daughter’s first choice school”. That does not mean we will not need to compare financial aid packages it simply states our motivation which I believe is the question they are asking. Answer the question they ask and nothing more unless of course money is not an issue and this is THE school for you; then by all means lather it on.
We are not FA. The school is not my daughter’s top choice. She is torn between the few schools she’s applying to. This coach is someone with whom we will have contact for the next four years because we know her outside of school so I am not going to fudge the truth with her.
That is a COMPLETELY different situation than that suggested by the original post.
@Altras sorry it’s hard to explain all this without tons of details. Kid doesn’t have a first choice. She is applying to a very small select group of schools.
The coach is in a bit of a tricky spot, and I disagree that with @Altras that it is about maximizing yield. It’s more about balancing the class and meeting institutional needs.
Schools that value their athletic programs often give coaches some input on admissions – perhaps letting them pick a couple of top student athletes who can make big contributions as soon as they arrive. (Remember that most BS are not that big yet have to fill rosters for many teams throughout the year, and to be competitive, need a few ringers.) So it is the coach who is concerned here about using one of those chits on a student who may not attend.
Ideally, the student would be admitted without the chit just for being an all round excellent kid, and the team would get the recruit and dogkid. The rub here is that in order to get a really balanced class, the school is looking for a mix of talents. If dogkid has been pegged as an athlete (rather than a cellist who can also play volleyball adequately ) or an exceptional math kid who dables in set design, or whatever, that’s the pool. At that point, admissions needs to decide if dogkid is someone who will contribute to the community in ways that make them want to admit her.
Put more succinctly, the coach isn’t doing admissions’ bidding… There are enrollment management issues going on, but it’s about collecting all the pieces to finish the puzzle.
I agree that the lousy part is that if you didn’t have any other offers, this would quickly become your first choice but at this point, the other offers are an unknown.
We are living a very similar experience and we need FA to send our child to these schools. Our DC has his top pick but we have a feeling we won’t find out if he is accepted there till March 10th.
I find the question very awkward, as I want to ask them if they will guarantee to match the offer from any other school. As much as our DS has his top choice a few thousand $ delta would have a significant impact on our family.
Currently, our answer is; Yes you are among our top choices and our DS would be lucky to attend (insert school name).
That would be a “no” to the coach’s question.
It’s too bad boarding schools don’t have an early decision application round. That would make this so much less stressful! I wonder why they don’t?
I had that same question for a while. I had thought that an early decision option would very much be in the schools’ interest … and also kids’ interest in terms of not having to necessarily apply to a bunch of schools if that CLEAR top choice was known. But now thinking about it more, I think there could be a downside to kids (actually perhaps overbearing helicopter parents) making uninformed decisions too early just to get into a reach school and then creating problems/disappointment down the road from bad decisions. There is a big difference between 13/14 year olds selecting a school and 18/19 year olds selecting a college.
I went through the same thought process as @CMKDad at the time and came out at the same place. I think young kids (and their parents) need the time and the process and the visits and the period of introspection to figure out what’s best. And even if what you thought was your first choice in October is still the first choice and an option in April, if you don’t pursue alternatives, you may have doubts later. There is so much more to it than sport. It may well be the same with college, but I feel like at that time kids are better placed to make an early decision.
It’s goung to be 9 degrees up in New England this weekend- I am already anticipating the complaining @ making the wrong choice =))
@Golfgr8 Is it too late for her to apply to Stevenson as a transfer student? (Is that the school by Pebble Beach?)