<p>Okay, I'm just going to ramble for a bit and hope it makes sense. </p>
<p>So I went through all of college admissions, got into my first choice reach school (bucknell), and I'm having an awful time socially. Everything else is basically okay. I'm doing fantastically academically (3.9175 gpa), I've got three solid leadership positions in EC's which I genuinely like, and I love the physical school. But I don't have any really good friends here, and I really don't like not having GOOD friends. soooooo here's my issue. I think I want to transfer, and I'm pretty sure I could get in most places because of my awesome grades so far, but I don't know where I would want to go.</p>
<p>If I transfer I would only transfer up (to a better school academically), and it would have to have a riding team, and a darkroom, and solid econ and creative writing programs. I know I could find a school like this, but then I start to worry about if I can maintain the same gpa at a tougher school, and law school is in my future so keeping my gpa as close to a 4.0 as possible is really important to me.</p>
<p>I was thinking maybe brown or cornell?</p>
<p>Also since I just finished my freshman year I would be transfering in as a junior. I dunno, I guess I'm wondering if there's anyone out there similar to me or how academic transitions were in terms of keeping the same grades, and how many of you actually saw an improvement in social situations with transfering? </p>
<p>This is the first time in my life that I havn't had really good friends, and I've changed schools several times and am used to making them quickly, so I don't think it's just me.</p>
<p>equine - this is just a thought (from someone admittedly a lot older :eek:, but who understands that feeling of not having really good friends when you have always enjoyed and valued that in the past). From what you say, I'm sure it can't be <em>you</em> re the good friends. It could, however, be your expectations. Sometimes the unbelievably tight knit groups girls have had in hs make it hard in college, because nothing can live up to that closeness. Is it possible that is going on?</p>
<p>It is true that a lot of students make amazingly close friends early in their freshman year, but their definition of "close" may differ from yours, or their past experience may not have been with such strong friendships as you have had. Also, in transferring, you start all over again and may find that you have taken a step back, instead of forward, in developing close friendships.</p>
<p>Although my experience parallels yours in the <em>missing close friends</em> category, it happened later in life and came from moving across the country. It just plain took a lot (a LOT) longer than I expected and I can tell you that I believed it would never happen. Now, however, we are thinking of moving again and I realize how important my friends here are and how close we have become. It snuck up on me.</p>
<p>The one idea I have is that you try joining some different groups/activities. Obviously, you have done a lot in that vein with your EC leadership positions. But if you're not finding the closeness there, some new venues might lead you there. Or, it might be that more time - or a different expectation of how quick and how close - will solve your problem.</p>
<p>For your academic goals, it doesn't seem like a transfer would be that helpful (and might hurt), so that's part of why I suggest giving it time or a new perspective.</p>
<p>Thank you for your reply. I have thought about the fact that I might have very high expectations, but I really don't think I do. It would be nice to have a group of people (even just two or three) who I could call to just talk to, or just be like, "hey, how are you" and not feel ever so slightly akward. I just feel like all of my friends have better friends than me. </p>
<p>I really don't think I could handle many more EC's and I woulnd't dream of giving up any of the ones I already have, so I don't know. </p>
<p>remember that you are going to have to make new friends wherever you go. Doing that a junior might prove to be more difficult than if you were a freshman or even sophomore.</p>
<p>sorry about my brief message before, I had to suddenly leave the computer.</p>
<p>See, the reason I'm so concerned about not having many friends is because I've always had friends--summer camps where I've been for 3 weeks I've made better friends than I have after a year at school, friends who I still keep in touch with. Basically everytime in my life where I've been with new people (I've gone to 5 different schools counting elementry, middle and high) so it's not like I've had the same friends who I made back in kindergarten, and I've been doing camp type things as late as sophomore>junior year HS where I've made friends, so I don't think it's that my friend making skills are out of shape, I really just don't think I fit well into the social scene here. It's like all of the people who I see potential friends in already have a really tightly knit group of people who are their friends, who they made in like, the first week of school. So I am their friends, but I'm not really in with them like I wish I were. Who knows, maybe all of this will change after the hall groups break down now that we all live away from one another. I guess I'll have at least one more semester to wait it out.</p>
<p>My daughter feels the same way at her college. She wants to transfer, too. She actually made some "close" friends and decided they weren't people she wanted to hang around with and now feels the campus is so small she can't reestablish herself with new friends as an upperclassperson on the same campus. It's a dilemma that I wish I could help with...</p>
<p>equine, I probably can't offer much help (promising, isn't it?) but I can say I'm in, nearly-exactly, the same situation. I'm also an equestrian, also into creative writing, and even with those strong ECs have had a very hard time finding friends at my school. I just finished my freshman year and did apply for transfer, but also was only willing to look up, and probably because of that, didn't get in anywhere.</p>
<p>I'm not yet sure what I'm doing about this, but I guess I have to hold out hope that sophomore year will be better, because I've heard such bad things about freshman year experiences and because I'm too academic-minded to think of actually taking a year off. I would consider transferring for my junior year, but then I guess the problem that comes to mind is-- isn't our problem that people already seem to be in groups? Coming into a school halfway through hardly seems to help that... and at that point I'd especially hate to risk losing the academic success I've had at my present school.</p>
<p>All in all, I guess I'm just agreeing with the other posters that you're certianly not alone (although that doesn't mean its any easier to find like-minded friends!), and I'm probably mostly responding because we have similar interests. Also, as I just learned myself, it's very chancy to rely or even suspect transfer admissions because of how small and competitive this pool is, regardless of traditional good grades (even though yours are pretty amazing). I guess then what I'm struggling with to is trying to find out where I went wrong socially this year and see if there's any way I can make it work in this environment before giving up on it altogether.</p>
<p>Truegibberish and equine99... since both of you are looking for good friends, you 2 should exchange phone numbers and chill. There you go, problem solved.</p>