<p>So, this is just something random that I found out about today. I wrote this little short story( kinda romantic about a girl with a crush on a jock, unique right?) and I shared it with a few friends. I got compliments do I kept sharing. I gave one copy to my friend in 11th grade and apparently she love it. She wants me to write more, an I have an idea on a continuation but the inspiration hasn't hit yet. Anyway, she showed her mother and apparently her mom loved it too. Then today, the junior friend said that she would give me back the story, but her mom still has it. Her mom has a friend who is an author who is going to read it. I had no idea about this and now I'm pretty excited! What if the author likes this?! Agh! If I got it published, at my age, I would probably start seizing in happiness. :) anyway, if you didn't feel like reading all this then you could read like, the last 6 sentences. If not, then w/e be that way.</p>
<p>I want to read it! I love writing, I just suck at it. A friend of mine wrote a play that is soon to be performed by a college acting troupe, she’s really excited about it, I’m planning to go see it even though it’s 2 hours away because her play is amazing. </p>
<p>Hey, and good luck, I hope that author likes it. Most people have to do a few dozen re-writes before they get even close to that level of recognition.</p>
<p>Sounds awesome! I’d love to read it. Oh and David same haha. I love the concept of writing, it’s just that I’m not very good at it.</p>
<p>That’s great!</p>
<p>OOOO.</p>
<p>I want to read it- PM if you feel comfortable sharing? please? i’m so curious! congratulations, though. nice connections :)</p>
<p>oh I’ld like to read it to! it’s impressive that you were able to write a story that at first seems cliche to be really interesting</p>
<p>pm me, I’d love to read it!!!</p>
<p>Maybe I could post it on here? I have it on my computer, but I only go on CC on my iPod. I could try to get it on here.</p>
<p>oh wow! if you want to you can… so curious!</p>
<p>I think this is how many authors find they have real talent . Good luck !</p>
<p>Here it is. It’s not as good as a finished copy because that has proper italicized words and bolding and all that jazz, but this is good nonetheless. I’m actually wondering if one of you is from my school and has read it already. That would be so freaky! Anyway, here we go! </p>
<p>A Prologue If You Will</p>
<pre><code>Allow me to start this tale as most do, with a brief introduction. I go to your everyday high school. Its full of your average social cliques and average school spirit. I am your everyday smart child who lacks ambition. I have a best friend named Skye and shes that one-in-a-million kind of friend. I love her to pieces and we get along wonderfully. There is only one pain in my side (and no, its not a bully). It would be so much easier if it were a bully. Sadly, this pain happens to be a gorgeous guy. A gorgeous guy who would never want to be with plain old me.
</code></pre>
<p>I</p>
<pre><code>In the beginning it was just me and my book. Then, Skye texted me. “If you love me, you will go to the basket ball game.” What a drama queen.
I answer her. “Well I do love you, but why go to the basketball game? Why can’t I just go to your house?”
She responds with "Because
Because? There’s only one reason un-athletic Skye would want to go to a basketball game and it wasnt because of her school spirit. It was because of the players.
“Because you like sweaty boys?” I lewdly text her.
"Oh you see right through me! 
" reads her text.
“I always do. But I don’t want to go. You know me and sports don’t work well together… And I just got a new book.” That should stop her. She knows I love to read and she knows I don’t like sports. They’re great, but not for me.
“Um boys > books” was her valley girl response.
“I beg to differ. Especially at our school.” Did this girl not get that I didn’t want to go?!
“Are you sure? Like 100%? Completely thought out?” Well, wasn’t someone sounding a little smug? Only one way to end this.
“Completely.”
And that’s when she hit me where it hurts. “You want to know the best thing about basketball? It’s the players. And who plays basketball for our school? Did you forget about Jeremy being on the team?” That tramp! She got me where it hurts. God forbid that I tell Skye that he was attractive and that he didn’t seem like a complete tool. She must have thought that would seal the deal. Well, it kind of did, but I wasnt about to let her know that.
"Oh, is he? Well, tell him I said hi if you see him. I laugh out loud (an actual LOL) when I read her next text.
“You hoe! Just go and I won’t ask you to go for a whole year! And, umm, I’ll make my mom’s cookies!” Skye is clever. Tempting me with a year free of athletics and some of her mom’s cookies. The girl knows my weaknesses, but she is my best friend so it is to be expected. I couldn’t turn down the offer on the table. Especially when it had to do with those cookies. Just a piece of info on those cookies. They taste like heaven. Its as if God, Himself, said Let there be cookies! And there were, and they were good. I decided to concede defeat to my thrifty friend. “Alright. You win. But I get to bring my book if I get bored.” “With the cookies on the line, I knew I’d win.” she texts back. Well, she was right, I guess.
</code></pre>
<p>II</p>
<pre><code>I kept myself occupied while I waited for Skye to pick me up. I looked in the mirror and gave myself the usual once over. Glasses? Check. Clear skin? For once, check. Teeth? Pearly white and I laugh because Im being an idiot. Like anyone will care. So now that I’m perfectly fashionable in my own clothing brand, Slumming It Chic, a.k.a. jeans and a hoodie, I sit down and wait for Skye to arrive.
And there’s no other way to pass the time than to read this book, The Hunger Games. I’ve heard so many compliments about it and decided that I must check it out. Actually, Jeremy told me about it during chemistry one day. A cherished memory to me, while he probably doesnt even remember it. It was one of the few times weve been thrown together.
Now I’m blushing again because that was the last time he talked to me. Usually I never blush when he talks to me, thank God, but later when I remember it, I swear I turn cherry red. Back to the book. I’ve heard it’s great, and with the movie coming out I thought that I would read the book first. I usually do.
I start to read and maybe get ten pages in and I hear something really annoying. Something ridiculously annoying. Skye and her car. Skye isn’t annoying - that much - but her car: Dear God. That thing needs to be put down. It’s loud, obnoxious, old, and just ugh. I have a list of complaints ten feet long about that thing she calls a car. After this one time when Skye’s brakes went out and we went through a red light I decided to put all my complaints together. We survived and nothing bad happened but I was still freaking out, and complaining about her car was the best therapy. And boy did I rant and rave!
It sounds the same, I think, as I slide into the passenger seat. “Ready to go?” asks Skye. “Yup. I said. Book in hand. Glasses on face. Terrible death machine of a car. We’re all set!”
“Dont say that about Jim! He’s the best car ever!” said Skye. You see, Skye did this thing where she named her car, which a lot of people do, but something as bland as Jim - well, whatever floats her boat. “Jim nearly killed us on more than one occasion. Should I remind you of last weekend?” I ask, challengingly.
She turns white as she remembers the homicidal actions of her car. She does the proper thing, shuts up, and shakes her head. She wouldn’t want to talk about that. I click my seatbelt, smugly, and away we go.
</code></pre>
<p>III</p>
<pre><code>Good lord, I hate that car. As we pull in to a parking space at the school, I have to try to calm my heart. We only ran through two red lights and survived one near-collision. Sound dangerous? Well, that’s sadly one of the better times. Usually it’s so, so much worse.
I give Skye my thanks for the ride, but I really wish I just stayed home. Why did I agree to come here? I don’t even like basketball, or sports, or people. Id rather be at my quiet home, all comfy and enjoying some literature than dealing with all the yelling and the fans. But Skye did promise cookies and the gym has better lighting than my room, so I guess it’s not so terrible. Ha.
As we step out of the car I look around and see that the parking lot is packed. Whats with the auto show? I ask. “It’s against our ‘rivals’,” says Skye and she uses the much needed air quotes around rivals. They live in the next town over, and that translates to us hating each other. Like I said, sports don’t make much sense to me, and these rivalries. Dont even get me started.
We walk into the school and head for the gym. The hallways are decked out in our school colors, navy blue and silver. Or maybe it’s gray? Is it sad that I don’t know the difference? Well, I dont, and I’m sure that the cheerleaders would guillotine me, but they don’t know and I dont plan on talking to any of them any time soon.
“Oh come on! There’s a line?! Does everyone come to high school basketball games for fun?” I rave. A woman, clearly past her prime, turned around and glared at me. Skye just smiled politely and waved me off. The woman turned around and I gave her the finger. Skye laughed. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Thank God the line started to pick up after that. We go into the gym and find spots near the top of the bleachers. The light is good, and the gym is somewhat quiet so I open my book and start reading until the game begins.
</code></pre>
<p>IV</p>
<pre><code>Have I mentioned that when I read, I become a zombie? Because I do and it is hard for me to get out of book-world. Because of my slack jawed expression while I read, Skye has to shake me out of my book-coma. She mumbles something, but I don’t really pay attention because Katniss just volunteered to be in the Hunger Games.
Skye shakes me again and I glaringly look up. She steals the book and closes it. “I didn’t ask you to go so you could read a book. I asked so we could talk about the game and more importantly, the players.” Well, then. After Skye’s scolding, I guess I had to pay attention.
Apparently, the game was about to start. The opposing team was shooting on half of the court and our team was no where to be seen. I’m going to assume that the coach was giving the team a pep talk. “Use more steroids. The more testosterone the better. If we lose, I will break your legs.” You know those happy talks that all coaches do.
Well after that or whatever happens in the locker room, the team runs out to the court. I glance among the faces that I grew up with, but I dont really pay attention because none of them are worth my time. Well, except for him. Jeremy.
Have I told you about Jeremy yet? Because now is as good a time as any. Well where do I begin? The beginning, of course! Insert drum noises! Arent I the funniest? Anyway, I’ve known Jeremy all my life. He’s always been around. We’ve had a few classes together throughout our years in school and we’ve remained in good standing.
It was around, let’s say, eighth grade when I developed a curiosity about him. I realized we had known each other since kindergarten and yet I knew very little of him. I knew that he lived kind of close by my house because I saw him walking home once. I also knew that he was athletic and he loved playing sports. Beyond that, he was a mystery.
That was when I began to ask around. Not creeping; I swear, it was just some minor detective work. Well, that was what I told myself. So I went sleuthing around and found out that he did live a street away from mine. Thank you, Jesus! Now I could walk by his house without seeming like a stalker. Because I wasnt. Promise. I learned that he liked to go to the gym, play Xbox and he also liked to read. I got the last juicy tidbit from his elder sister, Rachael. She was always friendly towards me and when we had a health class together, she complained about him leaving books all around the house. From what she was saying, he was apparently reading Stephen King. I found that interesting because I had read a few of his books, but at a little too young of an age because they had sort of freaked me out. When you read about how a druggie was felt up by his father’s friends as a pre-teen, you would put down the book too. I realized later that most of his books were pretty creepy.
After that I stopped trying to learn more about Jeremy. I felt like I had a good idea of his character and who he was and that was that. The next year, we had no classes so he wasn’t really on my mind. Thats what I told myself at least. But last year, we shared almost every class together. That was when I realized that it wasn’t curiosity that made me interested in Jeremy’s life, it was attraction. I had my first crush. Well, technically not my first one ever, but my first semi-mature crush.
And boy was I crushed. Apparently last year I had a big sign on my forehead that said DO NOT APPROACH!!! because he seriously only talked to me, like, twice. It was such a good time. It irritated me that we had all this time together, but never any actual time together. I was so sure that if we had time alone we could talk about books, life, anything, and it would be the greatest conversation I ever had.
But fate is a cruel mistress and she never let me be alone with him. The closest I ever got to alone was when we were at our lockers together in between classes. We were, and still are, locker neighbors. But it wasnt a huge advantage to the cause because we only said hello to each other. So the year ended with me basically never talking to him, and the “crush” part of a crush really messing with me. I was moody for the first month of summer break because I couldn’t see him, but as time went on it got better.
Near the end I stopped thinking about him completely; the attraction was gone. But when we started up school again and I saw him, I knew it was just kidding myself. I was smitten, but he would never feel the same way. I mean, my boyfriend total was a whopping 0 and he wouldnt be number one. Hes too good for me.
It was then that I realized that he was out my league and that I would be forevs alone and die in a house full of cats. But that didn’t stop me from looking at his muscles, or his sapphire eyes, or his photo ready smile. So I creep on a hot guys looks, sue me. Back to the game.
</code></pre>
<p>V</p>
<pre><code>I looked at the court in time to see our team rushing on. There he was, looking gorgeous as always. Our team stopped by the crowd and began to hype us up. (Them up, I should say, since I was still trying to nonchalantly steal my book back from Skye).
After another failed attempt, I look down and see Jeremy waving in my general direction. To me? No, no, it couldn’t be me. It’s me were talking about here. He must have friends who are near me. I look around and see that it’s mostly the opposing team’s fans close by. I look down again and I see him with a look on his face. Embarrassment, maybe? He puts down his hand as I start to shakily wave back, not believing that he was waving to me. He sees me wave and he gives me what must have been the most dazzling smile I have ever seen. He seriously lit up the already well-lit gym and he begins to wave again.
I can’t stop myself from giving this goofy smile back and I stop waving because I’m blushing and feeling like an idiot. He still smiles at me from ten feet below, but his coach calls him back to the court for another speech or something. He walks away, but looks back once. Right at me.
Can you say butterflies? And blush? Because I’m hardcore blushing right now and it feels like my stomach has butterflies that are migrating in it. I look over at Skye, expecting a tease or a gush about how romantic and CUTE!!! that was, but it looks like she hasn’t even moved her eyes away from some guy on the other team. Yes! That means I don’t have to hear about this for the next month. Who am I kidding; it would last for much longer than that. Besides, it was never going to happen again. A one-time thing. He probably just wanted to say hi since I’ve never been to a game before and we haven’t talked in a while. He probably gives every girl that amazing smile. That has to be it. It’s not like we had a “moment” or anything. Right?
</code></pre>
<p>VI</p>
<pre><code>As the game went on, I stopped focusing on getting my book back and started paying attention to the game. And for all you creeps, I mean people; yes it was game and not just Jeremy. Well, it was a lot of him, but not all, I swear.
Skye seemed to be focused too, but it wasn’t really on the game. It was more on the guy on the opposing team. I think she may have been flirting with him because during half-time, she ran off and I saw her talking to him. She was going to have to deal with endless teasing from me because its exactly what she would do had our roles been reversed.
At the end of the game, Jeremy assisted in the winning basket. No, it wasn’t just him, nor was it in slow motion. This isnt some cheesy high school romantic comedy and it is definitely not Twilight. He passed it to the guy who actually scored. Thats an assist right? Anyway, I was so happy for him, you should have seen me. Cheering and hollering like I was one of the people who live to see these games. I feel like an idiot thinking about it now, but at the time I felt like Jeremy scored and that it was just for me. Insert cheesy awe here because Im a hopeless romantic.
He was yelling with his teammates and they turned around to the crowd. They were yelling with the fans and he looked right at me and smiled. I swear. My face went red. Like scarlet red. It embarrassed me so much. The team went in the locker room to change and Skye ran to the opposing team’s side. She started talking to the guy on the other team again, probably consoling him since Jeremy just wrecked that guy! Ha-ha!
After Skye left and Jeremy went to change, I decided to take my book and leave. I didn’t want another not-moment with Jeremy, especially since a pink blush was forever attached to my cheeks. This never happened before! Freaking hormones.
</code></pre>
<p>VII</p>
<pre><code>It took me five minutes to get out of the school. God forbid anyone move out of my way! “Let’s get in the way of someone who clearly wants to get outside.” “Oh, okay! Lets not move because that surely wont **** off anyone!” Seriously, people these days! I plop down on one of the benches outside and open The Hunger Games. I might as well enjoy the company of a book since Skye is enjoying the company of another human being who probably likes her, unlike moi.
I must have waited for ten minutes before Skye showed up. When I saw her face I knew there was trouble. She had a goofy smile, mixed with a look of apology. Classic Skye. As she approached she said “So, um, yeah. There’s this guy who invited me to a party after the game, and I said yes, but I have to drive there. And I know how you wanted to read your book and probably wouldnt want to go… So would you be willing to not kill me for ditching you?” she said, sounding all sorts of reluctant to bring it up. Well at least she had the decency to sound bad about ditching me.
“Yeah, it’s okay. I saw you flirting with some guy earlier,” I said, letting her off the hook. She smiled and attack-hugged me. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You’re the bestest friend ever!” she squeals.
I decide not to go all Grammar Nazi on her since I was feeling particularly nice. “Yes I am, but I may not be if you don’t let go soon,” I wheeze, slowly dying from lack of air. “Oops! Sorry! Do you want a ride home?” she asks. “Not today. A walk would do me some good. Thanks though.”
“Alright. Bye and thanks for coming!” she said.
“Yeah, yeah. Go and have fun with your new boy toy!” Skye just grins back.
I decided to sit on the bench for a little while longer. I open The Hunger Games and start to read. After a little while, I look up and notice that most of the parking lot is empty. I told you, I turn into a zombie when I read. I look at my cell and see that 20 minutes have went by. Crap. I hear the sound of the school doors clicking shut and look over to see Jeremy and some of his friends walk out of the front doors. They talk and most of them leave in the cars still parked there, but Jeremy doesnt leave with them. He walks over to a brick ledge a couple yards away from me and sits on it. I dont know if he doesnt know Im sitting here, but I just stay quiet.
I start to freak out about what to do, so I just open my book and pretend to read. I want him to come sit by me, but Im so shy around him. Jeremy pulls out his cell phone and texts someone. I think he doesn’t realize it’s me. Thats when I decide to take a risk. I move to the other side of the bench, making room for Jeremy and his stuff and I clear my throat. He looks over and sees me. I pat the space I just cleared for him, indicating that he could sit if he wanted. He smiles and walks over with his gym bag in hand. “Mind if I sit here?” he asks. “Not at all,” I say, smiling. Thanks.
</code></pre>
<p>nice stuff :)</p>
<p>btw. when you said Grammar Nazi, I immediately thought of GrammerNazi. lol.</p>
<p>To be honest, I don’t like it, but that’s just one opinion.</p>
<p>I’m sorry, but I have to agree with Bassonapus. CC?</p>
<p>I mean it could be improved a little bit…guys? what do you think?</p>
<p>It just seems really cliche. :|</p>
<p>It sucks that some people don’t like it but I’m glad to hear it. Everyone I have shown it to just compliments me. It’s annoying. I’m happy that you found imperfection. Would you be willing to say why you didn’t like it? The main character, the plotline, other stuff? I’d really like to know.</p>
<p>It really means a lot that you didn’t throw a fit because of our criticism :)</p>
<p>The sentence structure in general seems to be a little choppy. “I picked up the phone. Josh likes pickles. Dancing is fun.” I just feel like you should connect the sentences more.</p>
<p>I am going to honestly say that it was a little cliche, but I am more of a literary fiction/action/drama person. I feel as though it’s something you could easily find on quizzilla; it’s missing something. I write about adults (like my North Korean prison guard obsessed with a foreign dancer) that have internal struggles that question the notions of fate, free will, human nature, existential crises (sp?). I think added an extra layer of insight in writing really adds to the quality as it did mine. I think you could try out third person and maybe change the scenario, since high school love stories are a little common. I just see them so often and with writing you need to take risks and be edgy ( IMHO). Taking inspiration from mundane, unorthodox things is the first step.</p>
<p>I was aiming for cliche actually. I just got an idea for a I’ve story and went with it. I have ideas for others, some like this, some not, but I haven’t put anything down. I don’t think any of the kids in my school would like any deep stories. They might not get it. But it is something to try, thats for sure. Thanks for the idea!</p>