LAC for transgender son

<p>I’m a trans guy myself, and the LACs I’m applying to are Swarthmore, Vassar, Wesleyan, Oberlin, and Grinnell. I contacted a senior trans guy at Swarthmore, and he says that he hasn’t had any problems and that it’s a great college to go to if you’re trans. There’s also a trans guy who has been recording his transition and posting it on YouTube (skylarkeleven, if I remember correctly). I believe he goes to Skidmore and is quite happy there.</p>

<p>Things I would look out for when researching colleges are:

  • Coed dorms and all-gender bathrooms (and for the people who’re wondering about this, think of the people who haven’t legally transitioned and the ones who don’t pass as cisgender, not to mention non-binary people).
  • Health insurance policies regarding transition (if your son wishes to physically transition).
  • Where your son would have to be listed as female and/or with his birth name in case he hasn’t legally transitioned (especially if he wants to be stealth at college).
  • Anti-discrimination policies that include gender identity and not only sexual orientation.</p>

<p>Grinnell. Gender neutral bathrooms all over and gender neutral housing available, and plenty of openly LGBT students.</p>

<p>

I’d love that, actually, and really? Would it be that hard to have another bathroom? It’s when I encounter people like you that I realize it must really suck being non-binary. I’m also reminded how much it sucks not being read as male. Even not taking into consideration our ~fragile feelings and comfort, safety is a huge reason there should be all-gender bathrooms everywhere.</p>

<p>And before this goes anywhere else (because I know how much I’d hate it if a thread I started became a debate thread), I’ll just say that that’s all I will say on the topic.</p>

<p>William & Mary is the most accepting in the South. Elected a Trans Homecoming queen several years ago.</p>

<p>^Longhaul–my D attends a PA LAC. She is an RA at a theme (not LGBT) house. She, after consulting the students living in the house,decided to make the bathrooms gender neutral. One resident disagreed with the policy and complained to her parents. The parents complained to the school, but the school supported my D. The bathrooms remain gender neutral.</p>

<p>My D has also said she met her first transgender student this semester and that this student has complete support and accomodation from the University.</p>

<p>Strange that dorm bathrooms should be an issue these days.</p>

<p>When I went to university years ago, the coed dorms (which was all but one male and one female dorm) had coed bathrooms, including the multiuser ones (some had urinals and open showers that went unused). The student cooperative houses mostly had single user bathrooms that were not limited by gender.</p>

<p>The dorms did not allow coed rooms at the time, but the cooperatives did for roommates that wanted to live with each other (though the ones I knew who did this were not transgender).</p>

<p>Northwestern has gender-neutral housing and bathroom options. Also a well-funded and highly respected gender studies program if he happens to be interested. Students are very supportive and will see your son for what he is, not just his sexual identity. Some transgender students might be into the “scene,” and in that case, the many ultra liberal colleges mentioned so far might be more appropriate. However, if he’s looking for a more mainstream experience, where his sexuality would be respected but not define him, Northwestern could be a good fit. While the student body may seem “mainstream” on the surface, they’re actually very open-minded. For example, in last year’s sex toy controversy, the vast majority of students supported the sex toy demonstration. It’s not an LAC though.</p>

<p>I don’t see why going to an LAC means your sexuality will define you. In my experience, the more open people are, the more they see you as a person despite your differences. Not saying people from Northwestern wouldn’t be like that, just that being involved in the community doesn’t mean tattooing “Transgender” on your forehead. You can even be stealth and be active in the trans community.</p>

<p>You have a point though I’m saying NU students are pretty open if you get to know them beyond just how they look. Some people might feel the need to be active in the Trans community and that’s great (I don’t think NU has an active trans community though the LGBT community is pretty active and has lobbied successfully for trans-friendly policies), but others might just want to blend in with others and not be reminded so much of their trans identity. NU is a fit for the latter. </p>

<p>In some ways, being in a college with a large trans population might normalize the experience of being trans a bit and make some trans students feel more comfortable. On the other hand, I could see how a college like that could promote a sexual identity-driven atmosphere and make other trans students uncomfortable.</p>

<p>Grinnell, Swarthmore, Wesleyan, Skidmore, Smith (I’m not sure how they look at transgender applicants), Oberlin</p>

<p>Hi there!</p>

<p>I am new to this site, but registered particularly because of the question presented in this forum. There are several schools with great support systems for trans people. Though, finding one that also meets what they might like to do academically would prove more difficult. My main suggestion would be Hampshire College. Further, I would also suggest Evergreen State College.</p>

<p>Both of these schools are smaller and both are not only accepting of trans-identified people, but are also in locations that are accepting and accommodating to transpeople.
Please note, that if I use the word “queer,” it is only because my experience at college taught me to reclaim this word as a positive, community-based identifying word. I use it to speak about people with “non-normative” genders and sexual orientations. This includes lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans. But, it also includes people who are asexual, pansexual, genderqueer, on the trans spectrum, etc. This is terminology that I learned at Hampshire College.</p>

<p>I went to Hampshire College, graduated recently, and I identify as genderqueer. At orientation, people ask what pronouns you prefer. 90% of the restrooms are gender neutral. The two restrooms on campus that I know to not be gender neutral, might as well be - since I used them with no regard to the signs on the door. And have NEVER had any issues. People are allowed to room with people of any gender (as we find that to be no signifier of what makes a good or appropriate roommate) though 90% of the rooms are single rooms. Hampshire College was rated one of the top gay-friendly campuses. This, however, is an understatement. Most of my friends are queer-identified. Many of my teachers were also queer-identified. Both of my on campus employers identified as lesbians and were both very sensitive to my co-workers changing their names and pronouns. There are constantly speakers, forums, and groups on gender and sexuality – all aspects (identity, pleasure, health, etc). Through my time at Hampshire, I’ve met more people who identify as genderqueer and some of my best friends are transmen and transwomen. Hampshire teachers are typically socially liberal and most ask if you’d prefer to be called something other than your legal name. Many of the school documents can be changed to your preferred name. Though the school does not have permission to change some documents (need legal record of your birth name), they do try to respect this in as many areas as they can. For example, you can change the name seen on your e-mail, in the student directory, etc. Along with this, Hampshire has “queer hall” (a hall in the dorms that is designated specifically for queer [LGBTQ] students). Beyond that, there are several queer “mods.” These are on campus apartments. These spaces are particularly important to people who are seeking a safe place to live. These places tend to be more conscious of gender, sexuality, and potential traumatic experiences that have related to their identities. There is a Queer Community Alliance Center that is open 24 hours per day that is maintained as a safe space where LGBTQ students and their allies hang out, do homework, have events or dinner, watch movies, and just get to know each other. There is a FANTASTIC director of the queer center, Emily Rimmer. She supports students to no end. Along with the center, there are groups that meet regularly - these groups are the general queer alliance. There is also the TSA (trans student alliance), QIPOC (Queer International and People of Color), a group for femme-identified students, Aliz (Queer Jews and Allies), and a group about masculinity. Students are also constantly encouraged to plan their own events and make their own groups. I, personally, have started my own group and have run workshops at various conferences. Hampshire is also home to the Five College Queer Conference, which features both faculty, student, and off-campus speakers around a variety of issues (from safe sex to body image to maintaining community). More importantly, there are other trans students. Though the population is still small (and varies by year), your son would not be alone in his experience. Other places may be accepting, but finding a community is also important to his social and mental health. Lastly, Hampshire College is in Western Massachusetts. The area is notorious for its social and political liberal views. Mount Holyoke and Smith College are only 10-15 minute bus rides away (and the buses are free!), both of these schools are very conscious about gender and sexuality. I personally know several transmen who have attended Smith College and have only had positive things to say about their experiences. Northampton is one of the most gay-friendly places I have been to. I have never felt threatened or uncomfortable concerning my gender in this place. Amherst is also accepting. An academic benefit of Hampshire College is that you can take classes at other colleges and all of them are accepted as applicable credits. We also do narrative evaluations instead of grades and were recently voted one of the top 20 brainiest schools in the country by the Princeton Review.</p>

<p>Regardless of your choice, Northampton (MA) and Portland (OR) are very queer and trans friendly areas to consider. Evergreen State College is a couple hours from Portland and has a similar academic feel to Hampshire College. Portland, OR, being so nearby would be good for your son, as Portland has a high trans and genderqueer population. </p>

<p>I went to Hampshire and found the community to be strong and safe. Unlike your son, I did not have a supportive family. I found a home on this campus. I also found the resources, inspiration, and support systems to go on and do good for the community. I am currently working on an anthology for butch-identified women and transmen. Several of my friends are putting together transmale and transfemale oral histories. If you have any more questions, please feel free to e-mail me. I had an experience that was… beyond words… at Hampshire College. It has made my life much better than I could have imagined it.</p>

<p>-Mikayla</p>

<p>P.S. If you are concerned about your son’s grades or SAT’s, in any way, Hampshire is a great place to look at. It values non-traditional learning. The admissions office is also very aware of problems trans-people, people of lower socio-economic status, people of color, survivors of trauma, etc. have experienced. Thus, they know that a student may not have been getting straight A’s or going to class because they were being bullied. It gives people who are smart, but have never had the right environment, a real opportunity to flourish. Also, instead of taking classes your final year, you have to take 2 advanced learning activities and do a senior thesis (I wrote a thesis and did a gallery show). They are VERY strong academically. If you look at a Hampshire College application, you will see that they very much want to know what kind of person they are letting into the school. I believe my application asked for an essay, a list of the books I’d read in the last year, and then had all short answer questions which ranged from “Where would you go if you could go anywhere?” to “What superpower would you want?” They look for people who are passionate and interested in social justice and bringing better to the world. And I believe that, for the mot part, they find them. If your son is looking for a safe place, then there are several. If he is looking for one with a community, then there are less. But, they still exist. When one of my friends began taking testosterone, he had a full load of people go to the doctor’s with him (because everyone wanted to) and that night, he had a “t party,” where people made him a cake and played Wii and cards. It’s really an amazing place. If you are ever interested in visiting, I would be happy to show you around. I still live relatively close and worked for the queer center and ran the queer community alliance group at one point. I’m very familiar with the LGBTQ community and resources offered.</p>

<p>Sorry for the long response. I just know how hard it is to find a place with good resources and good people. With Hampshire, you get the resources of our school AND the other four colleges (for example, UMass has a guide about which endocrinologists, physicians, therapists, etc. are trans-friendly or trans-experts). And you get the awesome people.</p>

<p>-Mikayla</p>

<p>It’s so great to see parents posting here who are supportive of their trans kids. I’m FTM and a senior at Oberlin, which a few people have already mentioned – I’ve had a really positive experience here and would absolutely recommend it to other trans students as a supportive campus. (For what it’s worth, there are dozens of trans guys here – not bad for a school with only 2800 students!) If you want to PM me, I’d be happy to talk.</p>

<p>@idon’tjoke–I think someone who’s male-identified wouldn’t be especially well off at a woman’s school…</p>

<p>McAdams, we appreciate your thorough posting about Hampshire. The good news is that we are extremely knowledgeable about Hampshire. My wife went to Hampshire in the mid eighties. We even got engaged in Merrill dorm. I am sure my wife had some of the same professors that you had. The bathrooms even then were gender neutral, which took me sometime to get use to. We have visited there twice in the past four years. We live near San Diego. </p>

<p>It certainly is high on my son’s list of potential colleges. My wife thinks it will be an even better learning environment for our son then it was for her. If I was a betting man, I would bet he ends up at Hampshire after our extensive search. My son feels very comfortable in Northampton. We visited Hampshire last summer, so unfortunately he was not able to meet many of the students. </p>

<p>We are planning to visit Lewis & Clark and Evergreen State this winter, so I think we are on the same page as your suggestions. We are concerned that Evergreen State does not provide the same intellectual rigor as Hampshire though. We also plan on visiting Oberlin, Macalester, Lawrence, Kenyon, and Grinnell. We have visited Sarah Lawrence, Bard, Skidmore, Brandeis, Clark, and Goucher this past summer. </p>

<p>Thanks again for your posting. I will have my son PM you, if he has specific questions about the Queer community at Hampshire.</p>

<p>Don’t forget to consider academic interests. For example, Sarah Lawrence College has only a limited selection of subjects with a breadth and depth of course offerings suitable for someone who wants to study the subject in depth: dance, history, literature, music, psychology, theatre, visual arts, and writing, with Africana studies, design studies, environmental studies, ethnic studies, and international studies available through combinations of other courses.</p>

<p>[Undergraduate</a> Catalogue](<a href=“Disciplines and Programs of Study | Sarah Lawrence College”>Disciplines and Programs of Study | Sarah Lawrence College)</p>

<p>Just a reminder to also consider the location. Colorado College is a liberal and accepting school that is one of the 36 schools offering gender neutral housing. I’m thinking that Colorado Springs as a conservative right wing Christian type town and headquaters to non-friendly organizations might not be the best bet.</p>

<p>Mikayla, I want to thank you for your posts. I confess I’d never thought about the specific challenges facing transgender students, and your thoughtful and honest comments are very eye-opening. I’m glad you found a place where you could thrive.</p>

<p>I want to say that this thread has been very helpful to me as well, as a trans man myself (a bit older than your son, as I’m a non-trad student in my mid-20s) who’s looking to transfer from my current CC to a 4-year college, and one of my biggest concerns is finding a place that’s welcoming to trans/genderqueer students. Good luck finding a college for your son! I’m so glad to know that there are supportive parents out there who are willing to accept and embrace their children’s gender identities, especially since I definitely didn’t have that when I came out as trans when I was younger.</p>

<p>The Des Moines Register just published an article on gender identity at Grinnell:
[Grinnell</a> College dorms: Where gender doesn’t matter | The Des Moines Register | DesMoinesRegister.com](<a href=“http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20111023/LIFE/310230045/Grinnell-College-dorms-Where-gender-doesn-t-matter]Grinnell”>http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20111023/LIFE/310230045/Grinnell-College-dorms-Where-gender-doesn-t-matter)</p>