<p>Kei-o-lei, I don’t have a great deal of time right now to answer your question, but thank you <em>so</em> much for being so supportive of your child. Unfortunately, all too many trans teenagers are thrown out of their house, and completely rejected by their parents.</p>
<p>Whatever decision is ultimately made about transition, socially, medically, or otherwise, your child deserves to be somewhere where there’s lots of support, both from the student body and the administration.</p>
<p>I’m a trans woman myself (I’ve posted about my history on the Parents’ Forum, to some extent), and have a gay son who just finished his first year at the University of Chicago. (Which, by the way, is both officially and unofficially trans friendly, although my son isn’t sure whether there are presently any openly trans-identified undergraduates – there are, however, several graduate students. There is also gender-neutral housing available, beginning just this year.)</p>
<p>You might want to speak to Quaere, a trans guy (that is, an FTM) who just finished his first year at Oberlin. He might be a very good source of current information. [Edited to add: I see he beat me to it and posted already! </p>
<p>(I went to Yale myself, but back then I was, to say the least, not open about my gender identity. There were hardly any openly gay students in the early '70’s, let alone trans students!)</p>
<p>Be careful of a place like Smith or any other all-women’s college. So long as your child is legally and physically male, and has not socially transitioned, I doubt that zie would be eligible for admission there. (Rather unfair, given that students who enter as women and transition to male while enrolled are welcome to stay, but that’s the way it is.)</p>
<p>Also, please be aware that although the situation has changed a little in the last couple of years, openly trans students on American college campuses have always been, 99%, FTM – not MTF, like myself and your child. There are all sorts of plausible socioeconomic explanations for that, including the simple fact that people born female have far more societal freedom to experiment with gender variance, in appearance and otherwise. It’s far more difficult, generally speaking, for someone born male to admit publicly that he wants to be a woman. (Another way of putting it is that wanting to transition from male to female can be seen, subconsciously or otherwise, as moving to a lower status, and, therefore, shameful.) Fortunately, things are changing, albeit slowly.</p>
<p>I’m a moderator on a very active trans-related message board, and would, if you like, be very happy to ask if any of the members have any specific knowledge or information about college campuses that might be a welcoming environment for someone who is on the trans-feminine spectrum. I know one young trans woman who went to the University of Minnesota, and was very comfortable there. Macalester, of course, is very well-known for being LGBT friendly, my son considered going there and was very favorably impressed when we visited.</p>
<p>Good luck to you and your son. I’ll be away for a while beginning at the end of this week, but will let you know if I can think of anything else before then.</p>
<p>Donna</p>