Hi,
My son will be attending College of William & Mary as class of 2023. He has ADHD with mild Asperger’s Syndrome with some social anxiety.
As a high school student, he is an athlete and is very involved in high school sports and a club he really enjoys. But on weekends he tends to cocoon in his room with his computer and has almost no social life outside of these organized activities.
Because he has allergies and the ADHD/ASD diagnosis, we believe we can request housing accommodations to get him in a dorm with A/C.
The question is this: if given the opportunity to choose, should we try get him placed into a large or small dorm?
Freshman dorms at W&M range from less than 50 to 400+ students. We thought he might thrive in a smaller dorm, where the social atmosphere may be less overwhelming and he’d have a better chance to get to know a more tight-knit group of students.
We’re concerned that in a large dorm, he’s more likely to disappear and just retreat to his room with his computer.
The flip side: if he doesn’t hit it off with the kids in a smaller dorm, then he’s stuck and also may retreat from them.
Any current or former students, parents, or administrators have any experience or opinions on this topic? Thanks in advance!
I went to W&M years ago, but I think the things I’ll discuss remain the same (based on discussions with current parents). I’m not sure dorm size should be your biggest concern. W&M has strong freshman hall bonding. Freshman dorms bond by hallway/RA group no matter what the size of the actual dorm. I was in one of the biggest freshman dorms but the kids on my hall were tight and many of us are still friends today. They’re encouraged to interact and the RA helps with bonding, etc. Even when I went to my reunion people asked each other, “what dorm were you in?” They meant, without needing to say it, the freshman dorm. And when they answer the question they mention the actual floor, because all the bonding is by hall. Of course kids can branch out but it provides a solid base.
As an introvert, I was glad to get one of the freshman dorms on old campus because the hallways were large and we seemed less packed together. I could close my door and feel like I could have a quiet and calm space. The Botetourt complex seemed to have smaller and noisier open spaces, which then flowed into the dorm rooms. I think that they are technically smaller dorms but I was glad not to get them since it seemed like I would never get a break from the noise there. Though of course I never lived there and I was in the open spaces more than the dorm rooms, so I don’t have all the information.
If it were me I’d suggest Brown, Jefferson, or Monroe for him, even though they’re larger, because of the wider hallways and taller ceilings. But I think it may depend on the individual. Each dorm seems to have a really different feeling. Is it possible for him to tour the spaces?
From what I saw, the RAs are very well chosen and take their job extremely seriously. Your RA will likely check up on him and try to make sure he’s included, especially if he knows your son might need encouragement.
I hope he enjoys it! I had a wonderful time there. The students are great. The professors are terrific and deeply care about the students. At my recent reunion I saw more than one professor there who still remembered me by name, a couple decades later.
Thank you so much for your feedback, that really helps. We’re going to Day for Admitted Students this weekend and I’m hoping we can get some more insight into dorms that we couldn’t get on the standard tours (they show one very sanitized dorm room on the tour).
Reves Hall might be an excellent choice. It has A/C and only 29 residents. My recollection is that it has a nice quiet layout. When I was there it was highly sought after as upperclass international-center housing.
Of course if you can see the dorms that’s even better! Have fun this weekend @AJRube !