<p>No surprises here.</p>
<p>D1’s choices came down to 2 schools and it seemed like a big toss up–could have gone either way. Neither choice would have surprised us.</p>
<p>D2’s choices came down to 3 schools, but one school seemed to stand out as the one that had everything she wanted. So it was no surprise when she chose that one school.</p>
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<p>It’s not holding money to influence…it’s being part of the process…I believe most kids would appreciate that…especially when their parents are paying.</p>
<p>^^and if the parents aren’t paying, they should have no say</p>
<p>^^^If the parents have some life knowledge that would be useful (and that is most parents), it would behoove a young person to include them in the process, even if the parents do not hold veto power or try to push their own desires.</p>
<p>That said, my kids have had considerable lee-way. I don’t expect my daughter to surprise me this year in quite the way my son did, but if she does pull something out of a hat, I won’t agree to pay for something I think is a terrible idea. However, we know each other very well, we talk about education all the time, and we have ‘understandings’ that limit potential surprises.</p>
<p>I don’t necessarily disagree with geeps’ no say/no pay position. I just think some young people are more independent than others, have done more legwork than others, and know their own goals better than others. If those kinds of students surprise their parents, then maybe the surprise can be a good thing for all concerned.</p>
<p>I’m hands-off about the final decision as long as it fits either my budget or his willingness to take out loans (which I’ll counsel him against). I wouldn’t give him a free choice between a free ride at one school and $50K/year at another. Our options will be a little more reasonable than that.</p>
<p>“It’s not holding money to influence”
uhh, yes, it is. if my parents had said to me ‘we have a say in where you’re going’, f that. it’s my life & guess what? i have a say if i want to cut u out of it when i am finally financially independent. can’t rule over your kiddies for ever ;)</p>
<p>^ be serious…you say it’s your life…then expect your education paid for without your parents being part of the process?..quite unappreciative if you ask me.</p>
<p>One thing, most parents don’t know anywhere near as much about colleges as the parents here know. My parents know UMich is a good college, and have heard of Harvard and MIT and know those are good colleges. Beyond that they don’t know a single thing about a single college. I think most parents (especially parents who don’t have a bachelors degree) aren’t going to have any valuable advice or opinions. Most parents don’t know what is a good idea vs. what is a terrible idea, and I think in general the kid is likely to make a better decision for themselves then their parents can for them. </p>
<p>Now, a parent very educated about colleges can likely offer something valuable, but what works for you and other parents here isn’t the norm of what can work for other families.</p>
<p>My daughter was accepted to three schools, as well. One of them, a large OOS public university had been her first choice for awhile. Now I’m not as sure if it’s still on top. She’s a gal of few words. :)</p>
<p>So, now she’ll wait to hear back from the remaining seven, all in-state. At this point, I’m just trying to lay low and be prepared for whatever she finally decides will be a good fit in the end. And, of course, it has to fit our budget. But even then, my husband said if she truly wants to attend a school that we can’t fully afford, she has the option of taking out loans. Frankly, I hope it doesn’t come down to that if there are other, affordable schools that will work just as well for her. We shall see in a few months!</p>
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<p>Scoutmom said:</p>
<p>Like mantori.suzuki my son is accepted to three colleges and is waiting for response from three others. I think two of the ones he was already admitted to are strong contenders.</p>
<p>But I too wonder quite frequently where he will end up (hoping it will be the right one). My son who is usually very gabby and talkative is keeping these thoughts very much to himself. I suspect he is still waiting for the clarity- that “this is the one” moment?</p>
<p>My son ended up going to a college on his list we hadn’t visited yet. I knew that on paper it should be a good place for him, but had no idea what it or the city it was located in was like. (Not that he cared about the latter.) Even though he’d been deferred by his first choice, I secretly believed he’d get in in April. I really don’t think he’d decided where he wanted to go beyond the first choice - and he waited until about April 30 to make the final decision.</p>
<p>With all due respect to everyone’s right to post whatever they want, there is another thread (probably several) for arguments about how much say a parent should have over their kids’ college choice.</p>
<p>I’d love to hear more about kids who make surprise choices. Like, maybe you thought your kid loved Ohio State, but then he announced he would rather go to St. John’s College because his dream is to defeat Navy’s crew team, and you didn’t even know he liked crew. That kind of thing. Or anything similar.</p>
<p>We beat everything to death in my house. We discuss, analyze, argue, slice and dice until every scenario, risk, advantage, eventuality and possibility of an issue, problem, choice, or decision is fully scrutinized. So, I can’t imagine being surprised by anything.</p>
<p>I’d like a nice surprise once in a while.</p>
<p>“the topic is kids who make surprise choices”
OP, thank you for[ hopefully] steering this thread back on track. Posts that state" no surprises here" are not what this thread is about.</p>
<p>My daughter firmly vetoed any women’s colleges, despite months of cajoling, analysing, and discussions. I’m still not sure how, but Scripps College is one of her top 3 choices. Now we just have to wait to see if they choose her!!</p>
<p>Some students posting on this thread are missing the mark. This has nothing to do with parental decision making, but second guessing where the child you been raising for his/her entire life has chosen to go to college. You think that by now, especially after doing so much for them, including college visits et al, you would have clues. My son told his aunt that he would go to UW even if he were accepted to Stanford- goes along with the above Californian choosing to stay instate. Four years later he’s applying to grad schools, another whole ballgame.</p>
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<p>mantori, let me address this more specifically than I did earlier. Son’s EA acceptance was to a school known for its required core sequence covering a broad range of topics. At the beginning of his senior year, son was still enjoying studying every topic under the sun.</p>
<p>By the second half of senior year, he was ready to go whole hog into research in his chosen field. He knew what he really liked and he was in a hurry to get going into that field. So, he ended up choosing the school in which his major (computer science) was located in an engineering school (the other school doesn’t even have an engineering school), after he had visited twice and determined that he would be awarded a lot of advanced standing so he could bypass some gen ed stuff, and was told that he could line up research just as soon as he was interested.</p>
<p>The large merit award was a big part of his decision, but it was not the final deciding factor. In the end, he wanted to be somewhere where hands-on research was happening from day one.</p>
<p>I think a lot of kids change/mature/narrow their focus (choose your term) during senior year, and that is what is behind some of the surprise decisions.</p>
<p>Last year, my ears would pirck up every time someone asked Son where he was going to school because the answer was different every time!</p>
<p>at this point son’s final decision is going to be surprise! alot of research went into choosing and all have very strong positives…have already received great merit awards (full tuitions to full ride)…but son giving no real clue to what 1st choice is right now…i’m trying to gauge by what college shirt he is wearing the most!</p>
<p>My S’s (first kid) decision was a surprise. When starting the process, we asked him what he wanted or at least what he didn’t want in a school. They only thing he said was he definitely did not want a small liberal arts college.</p>
<p>We visited three LAC’s because two top ones are within an hour or so of where we live (easy day trip and a way to ease into the process) and a third top one where he is a legacy and had the stats, so it could be a safety/reach (lol, my terminology.)</p>
<p>1st surprise–ha applied to two of the LAC’s we visited.
2nd surprise-after acceptances, he narrowed down his choice to three schools. Two of them were the LAC’s.
3rd surprise–He choose one of the LAC’s over a top university.</p>
<p>We did not even visit most of the top LAC’s because he did not want an LAC.</p>
<p>We also had to give him a deadline because he could not decide. I have no idea why he choose the school he did.</p>
<p>For 18 months whenever anyone asked her, my D said her first choice school was Middlebury: she’s big into languages, wants to study IR, wanted a small, intellectual LAC, and she liked the campus. She visited about a dozen schools in 8 states, but it always came back to Middlebury. Then one Saturday morning in September she announced she was applying ED to Haverford. Since it’s only a 3 hour drive to a campus near a city instead of an 8 hour drive into the cold mountains of VT, my H and I were not only surprised, but delighted (although we tried to hide it). I think as it got closer to time to apply, she did more reading up on schools and realized her lack of interest in the outdoors and winter sports wasn’t a match (her idea of being “outdoors-y” is rolling down the window in the car). The descriptions of the student population in guidebooks and websites made her feel that perhaps it wasn’t the best fit after all (too pretentious?). After her first visit to Haverford, she had thought it was kind of small and wasn’t sure about the emphasis on the honor code. But in the end, those aspects became very attractive, and the less isolated location was a draw as well. I also think she felt she had a better chance at admission. She got in ED, and is very happy to be going there. She’s happy, so we’re happy.</p>