Having choices is usually considered a wonderful thing, but an offer of a large increase in merit aid from College B has really left us reeling, given since College A (1st choice) has offered zero merit. We’ve gone back and forth with them to no avail yet, though they promise they are re-considering and will let us know sometime tonight, as they are working late.
We are honestly having such second thoughts, at this late hour and date. College B has been amazing, but one of the main reasons we didn’t even visit the campus was because it simply was not going to be doable financially and we would have to fly there, as well, just to learn it was a 2nd choice or not affordable? Now we obviously regret that we only were able to do “In your area” visits in our state. Hindsight is 20/20. But who knew that our son would suddenly be awarded a significant award on 4/29? College B has been super nice and we’ve had calls from everyone from the deans, to directors, and students. College A has literally been the opposite, which really leaves us wondering. If they are this unavailable and unhelpful before our son commits, what will it be like after he matriculates?
Has anyone been in this situation? Last minute decisions, I mean? Trying to think this all through. Committing without a visit to campus? Not something that would have ever been imagined or recommended. And realistically, does that even make sense?
There’s an unopened box with a sweatshirt in it that was overnighted today. This is not the way we had hoped Decision Day would play out. :-\ This is child #3 going through the college search. We are not newbies and thought we’d done our due diligence through this whole process with our son. I know that sometimes things happen for a reason, but, this is very confusing.
Any anecdotes or advice? Trying to keep positive. We still have a few hours, right? There are definitely pros and cons to both schools, so it’s tough just using a list. It’s that gnawing in my gut I can’t ignore. And my son is the same. He does not know what to do.
Thanks in advance. Prayers and wine also welcome. 
Price difference? Any debt needed? What non-price differences are significant to him?
“College B has been super nice and we’ve had calls from everyone from the deans, to directors, and students.”
Obviously they REALLY want your DS.
The silence from College A is also very telling. They probably have lots of kids ready to step in to take his place.
If it costs less to go to B overall and they have the programs he wants, then B sounds like the smart choice!
There are thousands of CC students trying to make last minute decisions, so your family is not alone…
I never visited Penn State before I enrolled. They had the major I wanted so I went there. I actually started a thread asking people if “fit” was overrated. I think it is. Personally I would not worry about visiting, but you know your kid better than we do.
Yes, there is a difference, and particularly with the merit scholarship (vs. aid), which would stay constant even if our income increased, which it will because we will need to increase our income to help pay the costs. It would cost less for College B, especially for subsequent years.
Non-price differences are related to school reputation for major and having already met students attending and matriculating. And locations.
“It would cost less for College B, especially for subsequent years.”
then unless there is a CONSIDERABLE difference in reputation- for instance if A is ranked in the top 20 vrs B’s mid 70 ranking - I suggest you embrace this wonderful, unexpected gift and encourage DS to go to B.
There is NOTHING like a merit scholarship to give bot you and your DS financial peace of mind! Especially as college costs will continue to rise each year!
Thanks, menloparkmom, College B does seem to really want him. And College A probably does have a wait-list for the spot.
TV4caster, that’s good to know. My son is a bit nervous having not visited, but definitely feels the love from them.
My son was in this spot two years ago. He called to request an extension from his three top schools (two Top 15’s, and one state school with amazing merit), and they all granted him one until May 6.
I guess the reputation difference could be seen as “considerable” if you’re looking at stats. That is the most gnawing fact. But, I am of a mind that you bloom where you’re planted, as well. And the other program is very good as well and would provide its own opportunities and alumni network long term. And both places, in fact most of the schools he was accepted to have very strong faculty.
OK, why not just name the schools as well as possible goals and total cost amounts?
Otherwise, it’s really hard to give a recommendation.
For example, for a pre-med who is sure to stay pre-med, I can’t justify paying $15K more a year for HYPSM over WashU/Vandy, but for someone aiming for Wall Street, I can (likewise HSM for someone aiming for the VC/start-up world).
But that may change if the difference is $5K or $40K/year.
I guess the difference, 16.5K total of total merit has made us take a much closer look and the things we were trying to minimize (the atmosphere of the A school) are a bit more glaring. The programs themselves are very good. My son said if it were not for the program at school A he would never have considered it otherwise.
happykidsmom, I was wondering if my son could get an extension. We might just hop on a plane and go visiting.
Kids do change their mind on programs and majors, though.
I would take the College B as a blessing from above (and i’m not religious and jump at it…they love your son and the money seals it.
" My son said if it were not for the program at school A he would never have considered it otherwise."
Well, that speaks VOLUMES! And I agree that many kids DO change their minds about majors once they are in college,
Do ask for an extension and go visit B! You have reason to do so. I’ll bet B will ok it. Not so sure about A .
One school gave my son until the 6th. The other two gave him until the 12th and 15th. Extensions, especially if you are trying to plan a revisit, can be really helpful. As for the revisit, my younger son completely flipped his decision after his revisits two weeks ago. He was choosing between five schools. One that he had never visited was #5, and one he visited last year was #1.
He walked on campus at #5 two weeks ago, and fell in love. Couldn’t get enough. Didn’t want to leave. He knew it was his school.
We went to his #1 school and REALLY disliked it. Was supposed to do an overnight Saturday night, Accepted Students Day Sunday, and class visits Monday. I met him on Sunday morning after his overnight, ready to do all of the Accepted Students activities and he asked if we could just leave! The overnight had sealed his decision. Well, that, and the two+ days on campus at his #5 school.
If your son is really torn, I’d be very tempted to invest in overnight stays at both schools. There is a world of difference between a two-hour canned tour/info session and overnights, where they meet other students, see the campus life up close and personal, etc. It might be hard to schedule overnights right now during finals, but if you explain your situation, you might luck out. A lot of Seniors have finished their final presentations and such and might be willing to host.
Since you haven’t visited the college, giving us the name would provide a better response.
I always think of the older brother in “A River Runs Through It” who went off on the train to Dartmouth from Montana, never having been anywhere other than Montana in his life. He said he rarely went home for 8 years.
I hadn’t really been to my college before I moved there. I think we’d driven through town once or twice, but I knew nothing about the campus, how to find buildings. It worked out fine. It’s an adventure. If he’s choosing College B, not settling, then it will work out. With very few exceptions, most of the schools we looked at would have been fine for either of my kids. You go to class, you hang out with friends, you eat in the dining hall. College.
My kids definitely feel like they are contributing to their college because of the merit aid, and had a lot of pride when it was awarded. They are invested. A friend mentioned a few years ago that she wanted her kids to have ‘skin in the game’ and had her daughter take out the Stafford loan (not all of it) and I thought that was a really good idea, but I think my kids have more invested with the merit aid. They know they have to work hard to retain the awards.
Take the chance. Go with school B. It doesn’t sound like you are giving up any aid at school A, so if things really don’t work at B, I bet he could always transfer.
I wouldn’t give much weight to how welcoming or not either school’s staff is or how desirable the merit offer makes your kid feel. After May 1, he’ll have no further contact with Admissions, ever, he may have little contact with whatever professors at College B were courting him (while there may be profs he’d love at College A who just weren’t asked to do that sort of thing), and at either school he’ll be just one of a pile of freshmen whose relative desirability will be a non-issue for the next four years except to the extent it impacts mom and dad when the tuition bill arrives. Certainly the fact that College A may have many in line waiting to take his spot should have no impact on his decision one way or the other. Be careful of the flattery effect.
@CapeCodLady8 Not quite this close to the wire, but about three weeks ago we were ready to pay the enrollment deposit to the school that offered my daughter the best partial tuition merit of the schools that she had gotten into. We hesitated only because she hadn’t received notice of her last offer because the admission decision came late due to an error at the admissions office. We had pretty much written this last school off because we had no confidence that any merit offer from this last school would bring the price down enough because it was private. We went on our spring break vacation and one morning my daughter got an e-mail from this last school offering her a full tuition for four years plus a one time scholarship for an experience abroad. Needless to say, we took that last offer and are over the moon. We live overseas and did not visit any of the schools that she applied to (well except for the one that I attended as an undergrad). I love the CC quote–“Love the school that loves you.” Sounds like this is the situation your son is in. Congratulations whatever you decide.