As our seniors get ready to graduate and leave for college, what one skill do you think parents need to make sure they know?
I think we need to teach poise! As the end of the school year is a few months away, and there will be countless ceremonies (graduation, awards recognitions, etc.) requiring students to stand in front of crowd or walk across a stage, this might be a good time to have your student practice poise. Last night I attended a lovely award ceremony honoring over 100 students. Each student had to stand on stage while his/her accolades were announced, walk across the stage, and shake hands with a line of administrators. Some kids stood still, arms behind their backs, looking forward confidently, then walked up to the first administrator with an outstretched hand and a big smile. Seemed like the Eagle Scouts, Speech and Debate kids, and football players were very comfortable in this venue. Other kids were clearly out of their element, fidgeting, adjusting their clothes, looking down while shaking hands. Just a recommendation here - if your child is facing something similar, don’t just tell him how to act. Have him practice! The younger the better, but it’s never too late. Walk with purpose. Stand still. Shake hands firmly with your right hand, grab whatever they hand you with the left, look the person in the eye, smile. Walk confidently off the stage. Help your student develop this skill! It will come in handy when your student is being recognized in future awards ceremonies, or is walking in to a job interview, or entering a meeting.
Proper table manners.
Make a good first impression in social and business situations by having ease of knowing your way around a formal place setting, making appropriate dinner conversation with those seated next to you, how to rest your utensils between bites, how to be served, buttering your bread, even how to order.
Also proper dining manners at other cultures’ tables.
@thumper1, yes, “hopefully”, but for many students, they have not learned these things! Better late than never! I’ve been surprised by the gaps that sometimes show up in my own children’s skills, so I’m hoping to get some good ideas here.
One area in which my own kids needed some last-minute instruction was dealing with medications.
When you’ve come from a high school environment where you could get expelled for carrying Advil for menstrual cramps or prescription medication for allergies or migraines, you may need to be explicitly taught that in the adult world, carrying medicine is actually the correct thing to do!
Also, if parents have always ordered and picked up medication refills as part of the family errands, students may need to learn about the importance of ordering refills a few days in advance, bringing their insurance card to the pharmacy, etc. And they need to know that the pharmacist is a valuable source of information about medicines and a heck of a lot easier to reach than most doctors. So if they’re wondering (as they should be) whether it’s OK to take an over-the-counter medicine for a headache on top of the prescription antibiotic they’re taking for an ear infection, the pharmacist is the person to call.
And even if you don’t condone underage drinking, I think it’s important to make sure your kids know that some medicines interact with alcohol and that the pharmacist can advise them on this topic.
^^ Along with that is dealing with doctors on their own. Hopefully by now they have been going alone (or at least going in to exam room) without a parent. They need to learn how to communicate, make appointments, etc.
Also, seriously, do they have checks and know how to use them. My D1 sorority required checks for some payments that went main office and then she also had to be part of setting up house checking account for a rental in junior/senior year.
How to talk on phone. Lots of these kids default email as formal communication and hate to make phone calls when that is sometimes the more effective/expedient way to get things done. Needless to say, thank you notes or to at least write thank you email to some professor who takes time to give you advice or help you with something like references, internships, research opportunities.
Finally, kind of same as feeling comfortable talking to adults is to learn to advocate for themselves with professors. They need to all feel comfortable going and asking professors for help or at least introducing themselves at beginning of semester. My friend who teaches college always advices to introduce yourself to professor and if you send email to professor attach photo so they make the connection.
This may seem silly, but I will add that a lot of kids don’t know how to shake hands! They may offer their practically lifeless hand, but that conveys a poor message – and I’m referring to both sexes here. I think it’s an essential social skill. Hold or shake someone’s hand and look them in the eye.
In general, a parent can only hope that the lessons that have been taught over the first 18 or so years of each child’s life have stuck…including the value of hard work, common courtesy., social skills, being able to stand up for oneself in an appropriate matter, making wise choices, self-control …(and the list goes on).
However, I did take both of my kids down to the laundry room to be sure they know how to do their own wash at school (yes, admittedly they were spoiled at home).
@ucbalumnus…that was what I was going to say. That will be the one thing I will tell them…I continually tell them. I’m past the “don’t drink or do drugs” speech. It will go in one ear and out another. I get VERY specific and hopefully (pray) they don’t do hard drugs…but why take the chance. I bought this one book before DS1 left for college written by a doctor and it has almost every drug you can think of. What it does to you, how it makes you feel, the bad. It’s very nonjudgemental and is called BUZZED. There was one drug that this doctor begged his children never ever ever to take…just one hit and you will be hooked and he might as well be planning their funerals. I can’t remember what it was, I need to look it up. I think it was crack.
Anyway…I plan on getting that specific about certain drugs, doing shots, etc.
@mackinaw, not silly at all! My dad taught me how to shake hands when I was young. My husband taught our children to shake hands. But many kids, and even many adults, do the limp fish handshake! Everyone who reads this should shake hands with their kids tonight just to confirm that they know how to do it properly. You might be surprised!
That what you learn out of the classroom can be as important as what you learn in the classroom.
When to seek medical help.
When to seek mental health help. Don’t assume this isn’t necessary. Trust me, it is.
How college is not high school. Sounds dumb but after reading many posts here, many students fail to understand the differences what the professors expect.
What a syllabus is. My daughter found that many of her friends didn’t know. The thing is that it was clearly explained during orientation. Go figure.
I tend to focus on what they need to know that they can’t pick up easy on the fly or on things that can have real consequences.
…as long as the words coming out of your mouth after a hand shake make sense, then yes, hand shake, but it is only an initial step in communication and communication skills (social, human, all those “soft” skills) will make a huge difference, agree!!!
Alcohol. Make sure they know their limits and how different they are for different types of alcohol. You do not want them doing tequila shots for the first time with people they barely know.
For girls: If you are sexually assaulted CALL THE POLICE and have them meet you at the hospital. If you decide you want to press charges, you will need physical evidence. But more importantly, don’t drink to the point where you are insensible.
For boys: Be a man and intervene when you see a woman in trouble. If you see that someone has spiked her drink, bump into her and spill it, then explain why you did it. If you see a really inebriated girl being stalked by someone you know is a predator, c**k block. Be the hero.
