Im leaving for college in 3 months, Im going to tallahassee to the tcc2fsu program. The thing is out of knowhere 3 months ago I fell into a relationship with my bestfriend. She said shes in love wit me etc and i feel the same way. Shes going to fsu so we would be close but college is a whole other experience. Im not sure what to do in the future with this so if you guys can answer it i would appreciate it. Cause not thinking abt it and partying away feelings is not working.
Why not just enjoy the relationship for now and see where it goes? See how well it stands up to being apart in college and decide later if you want to continue or not.
As a young person, this may be your first relationship. or your first relationship where you have felt in love.
As an adult, I have seen many many HS relationships that both feel that “This is the ONE!”…but they fail after time.
I have seen a few that have stuck and went on to marriage.
You have two choices:
- Continue your relationship to the end of HS and then break up
- Continue your relationship to the end of HS and then don’t break up
My daughter did 1) when her BF went off to college a year before her.The newness of college, the fact that people are there and not far away made it make sense.
If you do 2), there is a phenomenon called “the Turkey Drop”…that means if HSers stay together when they go to college, they usually break up by Thanksgiving.
This is what usually happens with HS Boyfriends/Girlfriends:
You swear YOU TWO ARE DIFFERENT! You can make it work!
At first you facetime every day!
But then you realize that is annoying to your roommate/you have no privacy so you try to find times to facetime when your roommate isn’t there.
But you have classes and he has classes and you joined that club and he is on the intramural soccer team so maybe we can talk on Tuesdays.
He has that co-ed group of friends he goes out on weekends with and you have your group from the dorm.
Oh, here comes Fall break…but his is at a different weekend than yours so you can’t get together…
There is that one person in the group that you/he kind of likes…but you have girl/boyfriend!
Why isn’t he talking to you as often? or Why are you looking at excuses not to talk to him?
So you look forward to thanksgiving…but by then you are kind of really into that other guy/he is really into that other girl and you kind of get together over break and ooohhhhh noooo you have a fight about not talking as much anymore and you break up.
It’s called the Turkey Drop.
The same daughter had a BF senior year in HS. When she went to college, they stayed a couple. He wasn’t too far away so they got together on weekends. At first they would alternate…but then the way her dorm was it was always her visiting him. Then at the end of college freshman year he broke up with her. I woudl ask her why she didn’t stay at college and hang out with friends some weekends. She said she didn’t have any. I said you don’t have any because you are never there on the weekend. She felt like she wasted her whole freshman year.
Maybe for you, you will be near by so getting together won’t be an issue.
Let us say that this is THE person for you. If it is, your relationship will stand up,. BUT, make sure you spend time making friends on campus and getting involved on campus.
Don’t overthink it. Stay together and see how it goes. When the two of you get to college maybe you’ll stay together and maybe you won’t, but there’s no reason to stress over it. Like @bopper said, if you’re meant to be together forever then everything will work out.
You do not change anything in terms of what you are doing for college. You just let things play out naturally. If you are meant to stay together for the long run, it’s going to happen, regardless of where you go to college.
Totally agree with @Lindagaf …stick with your current plans for college. I knew a kid who was accepted to Oxford but wanted to stay with his girlfriend so went to a lower tier school…they of course broke up and he was stuck there.