<p>so i know this is really corny, but i the idea of leaving my boyfriend of two years when we go off to college is starting to sink in. i know there a tons of people in this boat too. it sucks. if anyone has any advice or stories ab leaving a bf/gf to go to college please feel free to share? and opinions about whether it is smart to break up or stay together are welcome!</p>
<p>Well. I'm going through a similar situation right now. Only thing is, I'm on the other end of this. My ex-boyfriend just broke up with me because he's going off to college in about two months or so and I'm only a senior in high school.</p>
<p>It kind of really really stinks. I mean, we didn't date for too long (7 months) but we were very compatible and spent more time together than we did apart. Because I didn't even see it coming (we talked repeatedly about making it work through this year, then me joining him at college in 08), it was even worse. </p>
<p>And to make it EVEN worse, he doesn't want to be friends now because when we hang out we have fun, which only leads us to want a relationship, which is very set upon not having.</p>
<p>I, personally, don't see any point in breaking off a good relationship just because you think that MAYBE there will be someone else for you at college, or what not. If you like what you have now, why lose it.</p>
<p>But, if you are even questioning it, it's best to talk to your boyfriend about it. Maybe he's feeling the same way. If he's not, then he'll let you know. Just be honest with him; let him know how you feel.</p>
<p>If you are happy with your relationship, though, I would wait until about 2 weeks or so before you leave for college to break it off. It's so hard to constantly think about the person you are no longer with, especially if you have nothing better to occupy your time. It's also nice to have him X number of miles away from you, where you won't run into him or people that remind you of him. These two things were probably two of the hardest parts for me because he doesn't start school til September 19th, so he's here for a while, and I'm not very busy this summer until the end of August. So much time to think about him.</p>
<p>Sorry, this probably seems to be composed of pure rambling. But really. Talk to him.</p>
<p>My roomie and her bf talked multiple times a day this past year...they were nauseatingly cute. They had their 2 year anniversary this year, and only fought once, to my knowledge. And it wasn't even a real fight. He said something dumb, she got mad and hung up, they called the next day, and all was well again. Honestly, I think you'll know, together, what's the best course of action. Do either of you entertain the possibility that there may be another love waiting to be found at your schools? Will you both be okay not seeing each other for weeks or months at a time? Will it be hard to stay together while you each have your lives that doesn't include the other? These are questions that you should discuss and answer totally honestly. Not that you won't make it, but many couples talk about it, decide to stay together, and end up broken up by Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>My friend Kira and her boyfriend have been together for like 2 years and they made it through their freshman years at different schools. Their colleges are only 2.5 hours apart, so they saw each other pretty much every weekend. They're the perfect example of making it work.</p>
<p>Well, my D started dating a guy last year who was a senior she was a junior. They had a serious relationship through spring and summer and then it was getting close to the time he would be leaving. He wanted to make it work gave her a promise ring. They lasted until about March of his freshman year. No one cheated it was just too hard. It was painful. I think at this young age you need the contact seeing eachother. Older people have more maturity and are probably ready for a commitment but at 17 or 18 you really aren't. There is no magic answer I wish you well.</p>
<p>I was going out with my girlfriend for two years when I went to college and we broke up over spring break that year. We still talk, still care about each other, etc, but distance is not something that works for everyone. She expected I'd be able to be there for her the way I was when I was home which simply was not possible. Our lives began to take different courses, etc. These things happen, don't be surprised if they happen to you.</p>
<p>Expectations is an important thing to lay out in these situations as different expectations is a fairly common way to doom things.</p>
<p>Breaking up with my girlfriend before going off to college (she was a year younger than me so still a senior when I left) was up there on the list of intelligent decisions in my life. I think everyone should do it. You're 18 years old, get out there and play the field a little bit. I know many think they're "OMG IN LUV!" or whatever but when you're 17 years old you're really not, I promise. Go ahead and flame me, then report back in five months.</p>
<p>Out of everyone I know, most people that came here with relationships ended them within three weeks of the start of school. One of my friends tried to keep it up the entire year, but in the end it didn't work out for her at all. </p>
<p>You just meet so many new people that I really don't think its worth it.</p>
<p>My boyfriend of two years went away to school when I was a junior, and we tried to make it work. We lasted the entire school year, but things ended a couple weeks after our three year anniversary. I think we were just in two completely different situations, and me being back at home held him back from really enjoying college.</p>
<p>I think it is wise not to have any expectations regarding your current relationship once you go to college. If you really love that person, chances are that you won't find/pursue someone new; hopefully, the same is true for the one you love. But at the same time, you have the option of following your heart in a new direction if appropriate without being on bad terms with your former significant other. Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart and I think that one during the first year of university would be a serious mistake for most. Part with your significant other on good terms so that you can always get back together. Just don't do what my (retarded) friends did which was have sex (for most for the first time) right before you part ways... Good luck!</p>
<p>Uh... break up with him is my suggestion. My former boyfriend didn't break up with me intially when he went to college last year--we'd been in a long distance relationship with one another before then so we both figured we could handle it--however, after he went to college we lasted a week. Freshman year you'll be way too busy to maintain a real relationship with someone away from campus... they'll be people to meet, new relationships to consider, activities to get involved in, classes to study for, tests to take, parties to partake in...</p>
<p>If you really feel like he's "the one," try staying in contact with him but going on a break. You never know; it might work out that after a period of time away from one another you'll realize that being together is the best fit. But going into college with a relationship isn't a wise move in my opinion; too much can go wrong.</p>
<p>And by the way chuy, you sound like my ex, scarily enough :D. "Thank you for letting me make this decision... it was one of the best of my life because I'm too immature for a relationship right now and just want to have fun in college" was essentially what he said the morning after I "gave him permission" to dump me. At the time I thought it was insanely harsh and unfeeling of him, but now that I'm going to college soon myself I've more-or-less come to understand why he said it and how right (if not PC about it) he was.</p>
<p>ive been with my gf for 4+ months now...im leaving for college in august, shes not.. i know i def want to break up with her but i highly doubt that she feels the same way (f##k!)</p>
<p>I'm sure she doesn't feel the same way, socks (or at least I didn't when my former bf went to college last year). That's why it's up to you to "be the mature one" and explain why you're making this decision, how difficult it is for you, how you don't want to hurt her which is why you're doing it, and so on and so forth. She might not understand why you're doing this when you do it, but in the future when she goes of to college she almost certainly will.</p>
<p>It's harsh, but not breaking up with her and then doing so when you get to college (ie: after something happens, after you meet someone new, or over the phone) is indefinitely harsher, from my experience at least.</p>
<p>I think whether you should stay together or not really depends on the relationship. My bf and I are both in college, and started dating in high school. We go to different schools about a 45 minute - 1 hour commute away from eachother (schools we both chose because we liked, not because of their proximity to eachother), and we made it through (though it was my sophomore and his freshmen year). </p>
<p>It was difficult at times because we were used to being able to see eachother back home not only more frequently, but with a lot more ease. You're also really busy - there's so much pressure to meet everyone and do everything freshmen year that it can be hard to make time for a relationship. You just don't want to "miss out" on anything. But, I think being in a relationship was almost easier. We'd been together for more than a year by the time we went away, and it didn't matter as much if we missed seeing eachother one weekend and couldn't see eachother during the week. The people I know who really "missed out" were the ones who tried to start dating someone fall semester and didn't make any other friends at their colleges. </p>
<p>I have no regrets whatsoever about staying together - we branched out, had room to grow, and tried new things, without sacrificing a wonderful relationship. And now that we have our groups of friends, and have found out what's important to us and what we won't mind missing out on, I think we're both convinced that this year will be easier.</p>
<p>I've been with my boyfriend for two years. He just finished college at UNC Chapel Hill and is now going to NYU for Dental School. I'm just going to be a freshman at UNC... I'm a little scared about the change but not about us, we've had our ups and downs but I'm so proud that he's gotten into the Dental School, I wouldn't change a thing. He's been so supportive of me going to UNC since I've always wanted to go. We aren't going to let a good thing go, we know we are going to have to work a little more to be a part of each other's lives but it's worth it to both of us. Communication has been our number one asset to our relationship since day one. I know plenty of others who've made it work. Good luck to ya'll!</p>
<p>I just broke up with my ex. She's going to Meredith(she's a sophomore) and I'm gonna be a rising freshman at ODU. I really started not to be so committed to the relationship anymore and I didn't want to be tied down coming into college. Plus I'm rehabing from a car accident two months ago. I was warned by my brother not to be tied down goin to college, as he was the first two and a half years at Princeton and he regrets it to this day. If you are 100% committed to the relationship, then do your best to keep it working. If you're not, then break up. It will benefit the both of you in the long run.</p>
<p>I think it's worth trying to stay together if you feel really strongly about him—I know three couples who made it work (and in one case they were on different sides of the country!), and may even be stronger for it. OTOH, don't be afraid to break it off if, after a bit, you realize it's not going to work, because many of these relationships don't work, and it's not worth it to try to stick with something that's obviously falling apart.</p>
<p>The best advice I got was take things as they come. I'm going to be in a L.D. relationship as well (been with my gf for almost 2 years now) and my freind from college just told me if I really like her (which i do) that I should definitely try it. If both of us are able to find a balance between studying, having a colelge life, at the same time being able to save away a portion of the day to chat with/webcam/call your significant other and we are both happy that way, he said hes seen quite a few couples be able to survive and be okay that way. </p>
<p>He also told me going into college with a L.D. relationsihp in a way makes life easier as well. You're not as focsued on the other sex and you're still able to be in a relationship without having to dedicate so much time to them and thus you have more time to sepdn wtih your new friends/studying. </p>
<p>So it's really how you see things. I really like my gf and I'm hoping things will work out but I'm being realistic and do know there is a fairly high chance we wont make it. But im still gonna try and you should do the same as well rather than wonder "what if".</p>
<p>There is a good book of advice on your first year of college - a good book with a funny title - "The Naked Roommate" - it even includes advice on some worst case scenarios, such as what to do if your roommate habitually walks around the room with no clothes on - but I digress.</p>
<p>Anyway, in The Naked Roommate there is a nice section about should you break up before you leave for college and the book basically says you need to do what feels right. Don't feel required to break up just because you will be living in two different towns. </p>
<p>"The Naked Roommate and 107 other issues you might run into in college"</p>
<p>Really a good book.</p>
<p>My girlfriend and I will be going to colleges 1.5 hrs apart.. (Trinity U and UT-Austin) We talked about it, and she thinks we should be single when we go to college...</p>
<p>We've been dating just 3.5 months...but I am so scared</p>