Legacy REJECTS

<p>QX3K.........why on earth wouldn't you tell your parents how much you appreciate what they have done? That response eludes me, I too am a senior and my parents have truly exhausted themselves in helping and supporting me through this process, although I by no means say it on a daily basis, I have time to time told them how much I appreciate what they have done, and recognize that not all parents are there as they have been, the smile it put on their faces and the obvious satisfaction they got from hearing me say this reiterated to me how just a small dose of appreciation can make someone feel so worthy and happy. Why don't you try that to your own parents, I am sure you will see the same reaction!(:</p>

<p>Yes, I personally really like it when our kids verbalize their appreciation. It goes a long way for parents deferring their own dreams and aspirations to send the kids to college.</p>

<p>My alma mater pulls out all legacy applications and invites all of the students and parents to a special program on the college application process. They stressed how competitive it is to get in, provided the current statistics along with the legacy acceptance rate (about 1.75x the overall rate). Finally, the admissions director reads all of the legacy applications. I suspect he does that to prepare for the phone calls that he will inevitably receive.</p>

<p>Funny thing is we have received 3 or 4 solicitations for donations over the last couple of months. We give something every year but with one in college already it is a bit difficult to give a lot.</p>

<p>We are waiting to hear on whether my son gets in. Whether he gets in or nothHe already has a number of great options.</p>

<p>From what I've seen, legacy applications to very selective schools ARE likely to be strong ones. I'm sure there are cases where the school is really a reach for the student, and the student applies anyway, but for the most part I see far more alumni parents steering their kids away from applying to their alma mater if they don't believe the school is a good fit, or they don't think the kid has a realistic chance to get in (and they don't want to "waste" the ED application). I know of one school in my area (tons of Penn alumni parents) that outright tells the legacy parents from that school not to even bother having their kids apply there if SATs are under 1350. So, it may be an even more competitive group applying than people imagine, ESPECIALLY from certain geographic regions. </p>

<p>As far as FA, well, isn't it pretty much set up that way to begin with in many schools, since legacy is really given the most advantage during ED? After all, most who apply ED don't require FA.</p>

<p>I do agree completely with those who feel that the schools should be more sensitive to their alumni parents. It's also possible that the schools are trying to save themselves from the ongoing aggravation of having to deal with alumni kids kept in limbo (imagine the phone calls they field) !! I feel for kids and parents who go through this - the rejection hurts more because of all the emotional ties and feelings of loyalty to the place, and it's hard not to take it personally.</p>

<p>Ask me after April 5 or so. My son has applications in at three schools where he is a legacy. He did get into UVa. and was named an Echols scholar (Go Cavs!) We're waiting on Emory and Brown. Son's stats are definitely competitive in both cases, but given the low rate of acceptances, particularly at Brown, the decision could go either way.</p>

<p>I want to put in a good word for UVa. and Brown in terms of legacies. They both have special counselling services for the children of alums. You can call up and have an interview where they go over all your credentials. For both schools, if the stats are clearly not in the ballpark or if they are borderline, they will let you know. That way it is less of a shock should bad news come.</p>

<p>The UVa people do this only for admission to their own school. At Brown they'll give you advice on your general college search. (And yes, they do keep it confidential.) The Brown woman was especially helpful since she'd served on the admissions committee in the past and could explain how the selection is done. She also had specific suggestions on how my son should present his EC's. </p>

<p>In terms of money, I am not "cutting anyone off". Not that they would worry about my meager donations! But it does make a difference how much I give to who. My husband and I plan to be as generous as we can with whatever school our son chooses to attend. We did the same with his high school--a very small school that had its first graduating class last year. We feel we have that responsibility if our finances will permit. Education in one form or another has always taken top priority in our budget. Where son attends does make a difference on how much is left for donating to other schools. </p>

<p>I'll let you know in about two weeks how he made out. Whatever happens next week, I have no regrets.</p>

<p>
[quote]
I'm a college senior and while I would never say this to my parents, I have always appreciated everything they've done for me and know that their suggestions and advice (how ever different from mine) come with the purest of intentions. No matter what I do, even if I end up in jail, I know they'll be there for me to depend on.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Please DO tell your parents this. It will mean so much to them!</p>

<p>I applaud colleges that are honest enough with students they know they will reject come April to tell them that in December. Remember, these kids may have as second choices places with ED2. If they get an upfront denial from the first choice, then ED2 becomes a viable possibility. They might pass this up if they are still holding on to an unrealistic hope of top legacy school. Even if one stays in RD, thinking about the real options Dec-April, allows a student to develop a realistic set of preferences. </p>

<p>I agree that colleges should send nice let down letters to all their denials, and perhaps an extra note to legacy families. Stringing the kids along when they know they will be rejected ultimately is harmful. Same for "courtesy" watilists. Don't leave someone hanging. If they are not getting in, let them know this, and let them get excited about the place they will really attend.</p>

<p>afan,
I agree completely. If admissions decides to pass on a legacy ED, they're probably not getting in RD. If admissions KNOWS they won't take the kid, a rejection is the kinder option. Get mad, then move on while you still have time to get more applications out. Offering false hope is not kind.</p>

<p>I could be naive, but is it possible that college admissions and development operate like a newspaper's editorial and advertising departments? As in separate? As in no cross-communication? Or, if there is such, that the time lag (given that those fundraising calls are often done by volunteers with outdated lists) could easily explain the unfortunate gaffe?</p>

<p>My SD applied to my alma mater and to H's. I was not at all surprised when she was rejected from mine, moreso when she was waitlisted from his, since she was a double legacy there (her mother also attended). It is a large state university, however. I don't think she had any serious intentions of attending the college from which I graduated but applied because of her affection for me.</p>

<p>She did, in the end, after what I believe was some aggressive effort on her mother's part, end up attending H's alma mater. He has never given them a dime, even though he, his ex-wife, his brother and his two daughters graduated from the school.</p>

<p>I recently gave what was, for me, a large gift to my alma mater. The development person is well aware that I have a S still in high school and we did discuss his college plans. She offered to set him up with a tour should he come to visit the campus, but was very clear about boundaries regarding her role. She also knows that my gift to the school has nothing to do with my S, who is geographically unlikely to be interested in that school, but is academically much better qualified than was my SD. </p>

<p>I have no idea whether my legacy or donation status would help him gain admission, but what I do know is that he would not wish for either; he would only want to go to a school that wants him on his own merits, not mine. I suspect that would be true of most other students, as well.</p>

<p>"but given the low rate of acceptances, particularly at Brown, the decision could go either way."</p>

<p>I believe the rate for legacies at Brown is 40% - much higher than
the "normal " accept rate of 12 - 13% , so your son does have an
obvious advantage.</p>

<p>I understand. </p>

<p>But acknowledging that would promise maturity. And I guess, I'm not strong enough or maybe too stubborn, at this point in my life, to make that kind of promise.</p>

<p>honestly, i don't understand why the son or daughter of an alumni should put anyone higher on the admissions list than a non alumni's son or daughter. they should have to earn their way in, the exact same way as all of the other kids do. not get a little nudge for being born into that family.</p>

<p>and to think that you guys would stop donating money to your alma matter just because they didn't accept <em>your</em> kid? That's like a giant "grow up and get over it" right there.. in my mind anyway...</p>

<p>Fendergirl, while some colleges don't care if you're a legacy, others see it as cultivating a longterm relationship that will be to their benefit. </p>

<p>Why would I stop donating to a college that didn't take my kid, of my kid applied and I thought they were qualified? Because I love my kid and don't want to rub salt in the wound of rejection. Would I mind if my kid didn't apply to one of the seven different colleges I've attended at one point or another? Wasn't a problem--my daughter chose a college I didn't apply to but had considered. </p>

<p>My son did choose to go to my undergraduate college (MIT) and I tried to talk him out of applying, in fact--but once he did apply, if they'd rejected him, I would have stopped giving money. See reason above.</p>

<p>To my young and condescending critics: take a walk in my shoes. Wear your country's uniform. Risk your life. Invest your heart and soul in your children's future. Nurture, scream, hug, cry, coach, beg, borrow, argue, inspire, encourage, laugh, adapt, and save for 30 years. Then, if you still feel generous toward an inattentive and dismissive university, do it with your own savings.</p>

<p>But, for now, don't be so quick to judge those of us on the other end of life's curvy road.</p>

<p>"inattentive and dismissive university"</p>

<p>how so?</p>

<p>Well, it gets into far too much detail to discuss in this general thread, and, frankly, I've put it mostly out of mind. Suffice it to say that Cornell does none of the things discussed above about other schools (including, apparently, UVa). </p>

<p>My son got his ED rejection in December. Then, in January, he got an e-mail from Cornell that started, "Now that you're admitted...". It was all a huge fiasco. Anyway, he's happy at UVa and I've discussed my unwillingness to contribute to Cornell with the highest university authorities--face to face. I was just answering the OP's question, which trolled for unhappy legacy rejects.</p>

<p>i mean.. i donate money to my former college.. because i think i got a good education there and would like to contribute towards the funds for the college as well as their future students... </p>

<p>just because they didn't accept my imaginary kid doesn't mean i'm going to stop donating to them.. i still feel i got a good education there and would like to give money towards the college and the kids who did get accepted .. </p>

<p>I guess it's different if you're actually in the situation, however I just can't imagine myself ever doing something like that.</p>

<p>for example, on a much smaller scale, security at my school gave me what i felt was a bogus parking ticket. i didn't feel like going through the process of appealing it (it was only $5), so i paid the ticket and moved on with things. my mom made a comment about how maybe she wouldn't donate money to security anymore since they're making a bunch of money on bogus parking tickets, and then my dad reminded her that the money given towards security does allow them to patrol the campus and make sure bad things arent happening and she continued on to make her yearly donations to them... even though she was ticked off that i got a bogus ticket.</p>

<p>(Reasoning for the ticket being bogus - we had parking stickers to attach to our car bumper or rear window of the car. I won't place any type of sticker on my car, so I kept mine taped on the inside to the rear window - just as visable as it being stuck to the outside of the window. The person doing the ticketing didn't see my sticker in my window and I got a ticket for parking in my own parking lot :( )</p>

<p>fendergirl,</p>

<p>what if you only have $X to donate, and you have been donating to your school for 20 years. Then your "kid" goes to college, but goes to a different one. Is it ok to donate $X to your kid's school? I mean, don't you want your own to benefit from your generosity? Or is it better to donate $X/2 to both schools?</p>

<p>It's like, school A helped my family 30 years ago, but they haven't done anything for me since. School B is helping my family now.</p>

<p>if it's that situation then sure, go ahead and donate it to the kids college... but don't use "i'm not donating anything to my former college because they rejected my kid" as an excuse. use the "i only have x amount of dollars to donate and i want to give it towards my kids current college"... </p>

<p>it makes sense in my mind... at least that's what the little voices are telling me :)</p>

<p>question: when your kid graduates, and is then an alumni and donating money to his/her school.. do you go back to donating to your school again? or do you continue to donate to your kids school?</p>

<p>Two Points:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Stanford sent a letter explaining that their overall admit rate was about 13%, and their legacy admit rate was 26%. This means that being a legacy basically doubles your chances of getting in. That sounds great, but those same figures also reveal that three quarters of all their legacy applicants get rejected. Being a legacy is hardly a shoo-in.</p></li>
<li><p>I don't donate to my colleges with the expectation that my daughters will be accepted. I can't afford to make donations big enough for the schools to take much notice. I donate because a previous legion of alumni were donating when I was in college and helped make it possible for me to attend. So I owe a debt to the subsequent generations.</p></li>
</ol>