Chances are worthless, as they have been for the last several cycles. And I don’t think that the level of responses in that formulas changed over the years. Yes, there seem to be fewer 13 year olds chancing other 13 year olds, but that may not be a bad thing.
The potential value comes in opening an applicant’s eyes to other schools that may fit the criteria.
Boarding School Alum/Moderator.
I rarely post but I’ve been a dedicated CC’er since 2009, when my first child applied. I now have three kids in BS and I have also taught at BS.
There have been some tough times on this thread. I remember when ExieMIT got attacked and left. I remember our share of trolls. But I do have to agree with LaxPrep. I think there is a level of tension that is not offset by information as was once the case.
To me the attacks on Gnarwhail, someone who clearly knew a lot about boarding schools, were such a disappointment. I’m glad that the frequent locking of threads has abated. About six months ago, there would be new locked threads just about every day. That really puts a damper on conversation. I do continue to check in but far less frequently. Occasionally I do learn something new. But not that often.
It is certainly a good thing that those who have been on for a couple of years have developed online friendships and can use the site to discuss their worries and their triumphs. But I really do miss the substantive insights that used to have more of a presence on this thread and I wish that we would welcome outsiders in a way that does not happen when those outsiders challenge our ideas.
I do agree with the observations that the stress level seems higher, and that student participation is lower. I miss the students. Some of the students really added a nice perspective to the community. For example I miss @stargirl3 - granted I’m so happy she is busy attending rather than applying to BS. Personally I hope to me more active responding to posts and this thread is a nice reminder to be mindful of tone.
I like when old posts are resurrected and added to with new information. It allows me to see the new vs. old in one place. Starting new threads on the same subject just clutters things and makes it more difficult to find information. I agree that some posters leave once they get “moderated.” Back to the OP’s comment. I feed certain threads to my child but don’t encourage her participation because of the comments here by adults.
These types of forums only have value if the information and feedback is diverse, thoughtful and realistic. Challenging ideas is an important part of any useful discussion. Status quo is just that. If a person,child or adult asks for an opinion I don’t think praise and encouragement is my responsibility or obligation especially on an anonymous forum. Lastly the questions posed are of a profound nature: going to an approx. $ 50,000 a year school. Which is the same if you are going to a low tier school or Andover. If a 14 year comes on here to query then they are mature enough to take the heat and get real world feedback. I tell my own kids the same thing.
I think there’s a distinction to be made between being realistic and being unnecessarily harsh.
“I think it would be a good idea for you to add some schools with higher admit rates” is helpful. “You’re never going to get into the schools on your list with those scores” borders on mean.
Just wanted to add that I also think the “snark” is at a very high level right now and conspiracy theories abound about admission practices. I have learned so much here, but lately spend more time in the college area because there is much greater participation, patience and civility. Well, most of the time! Also, I have seen the same college questions asked countless times and there is always someone willing to educate a new poster. Here, it is common to have an innocent query immediately dismissed with the “already asked and answered” without linking to a thread or inviting discussion. It is uncomfortable to see posters dismissed or attacked and I am dissuaded from contributing. It is easy to resurrect an older thread inadvertently. The search feature is not the best here and I most often have to google a question and tack college confidential at the end to return relevant results and overlook the date.
I will try to be more helpful here, although my experience is more limited than most of the BS parents.
I have never understood the value and appeal of the “chances” thread so never reply to those.
@center, Much of your “real world feedback” is purely subjective opinion unsupported by experience. Yet you tend to present it as hard fact. Tone and intention can easily be misconstrued online. You might want to be gentler. Not all children are as tough as yours. (And they are usually younger than 14 when they apply to boarding school.)
Sue22: I hear you. While I completely agree with your statement, I also feel that the message is basically the same. Further, as I said previously I am not sure that is really helpful to sugarcoat things. For example, a 14 or 15 year saying what are my chances at Andover and they have an 82 on their SSAT …they should already know their chances. They are hoping for a different answer than the one in their head. I guess my point is that kids applying to these schools in general, are already more sophisticated, and in many cases entitled, etc. etc. etc than the typical kid of the same age. Nicely suggesting they apply to other schools…?. I am never one to want people to just tell me what they think I want to hear nor do I think it is intellectually or morally proper to do that to others. Blunt,yes. Oh and in addition, I am not so sure that some of these kids are kids.
The Stig said:
Here, it is common to have an innocent query immediately dismissed with the “already asked and answered” without linking to a thread or inviting discussion. It is uncomfortable to see posters dismissed or attacked and I am dissuaded from contributing. It is easy to resurrect an older thread inadvertently. The search feature is not the best here and I most often have to google a question and tack college confidential at the end to return relevant results and overlook the date.
Exactly.
In re Chances, that was the only part of this site that intrigued my DC, until I explained why I thought it was not terribly useful, esp. when DC has a School Placement Office that does this every year for its graduating class. Maybe there should be a master thread on Chances with a sticky note, that broadly explains things that can help or hurt your chances, and reminds kids that most of the schools talked about here are hard for any kid to get into, and that even if you are special enough to have an above average chance, above average at a school that admits 15% can still be a very low probability.
On students postings;
As a new member, I don’t have an idea how active students were before. But I read many current and former students sharing information that were otherwise unavailable or hard to get. I am in great debt to them.
But for hoping some long time student members to continue to regularly contributing seems a bit too much to ask. Do they have time to do that? Looking at how busy is my daughter, my guess is no.
Be right or be helpful.
I also see some parents postings to young students that sound correct, but doesn’t seem to be helping. I see no point in them, unless doing so gives any satisfaction to one’s ego by doing so, which I humbly think it shouldn’t
Since we are sometimes discussing often with a 13 yo child to help them, not to crush an grownup political opponent, the goal I think should be being helpful and not proving your superior logic and experience. Being right is often the most effective relationship killer. Throwing a bucket of cold water isn’t always helpful.
Chance Forum
I agree with many that it isn’t very useful. But what’s the harm? Kids have doubts and wants to be assured. It’s emotional needs. If you don’t believe in it, don’t visit there.
Seems everybody is sharing opinions on those issues. So I am adding my 2c.
I have never understood the problem with resurrecting old threads. It makes the thread available to new posters and can provide additional insights. The older posters may have discussed the information but there are new posters who may want to discuss the topic as well. If you can never ask a question that has already been answered then this is no longer a forum it becomes a place to do research. I spend most of my time looking thru old threads hoping to find the imfomatuon that I seek.
@Center, How? I have to admit that I’m a little less forgiving of high school students asking these same questions about college because they have a wealth of resources at hand-college advisors, websites, the schools’ own Common Data Sets, but in many cases these prep school aspirants are largely on their own, some with equally clueless parents trying to guide them, some lacking even that. Boarding School Review and CC offer some information but I don’t see any harm in students asking advice of parents whose kids have been there, done that. And remember, in many cases we’re talking about 12 and 13 year olds. IMHO kid gloves are called for.
The following is not directed at any poster in particular. These are just my personal thoughts.
I do get a little irritable when someone comes on here and tries to correct the information provided by a well seasoned poster. Telling ChoatieMom she’s wrong about the school culture at Choate because your neighbor’s cousin’s kid said something different, or lecturing ThacherParent on California schools isn’t going to win points with me and if the poster’s an adult I may be blunter than I should if an initial gentle correction is ignored. When the poster’s a kid I try to cut them some slack, but even then if the information being presented is just flat out wrong I will say so, albeit I hope gently.
In my case, I attended a New England prep school, as have all my kids. In total my nuclear family has attended 6 different prep schools. We have experience with being a day student at a day school, a day student at a boarding school and a boarder. We are friends with a headmaster as well as many faculty at schools on the list of schools coveted on CC. We have close friends with kids at over a dozen NE prep schools, and my father was once the Head of the Board at one. That gives me a lot of experience from which to draw, although of course I don’t know anywhere near everything there is to know about these schools. I try to be careful about opining about specific teachers or coaches at schools my kids haven’t attended or, say, New York day schools or New England parochial schools because I just don’t have enough experience with them to speak with authority.
Kids come and go as they are admitted to or denied by schools. I hope we have many kids and parents learning from past posts. I myself have never encouraged my kids to read CC because I think it’s just too anxiety provoking, but then they have benefitted from secondary school placement offices at their elem/middle schools so they haven’t really needed CC to the extent that many kids here searching for basic info have. “Chance me” post strike me as both harmless and useless, the blind leading the blind. In most cases these kids have already submitted their applications anyway. If it helps a kid blow off some nervous energy I don’t see the harm in it, but I know my contribution won’t matter at all in the end so I stay away from these threads.
My impression is that the moderator’s note about not reopening dead threads is boilerplate, which is why it may strike some new posters as overly blunt. I do think the vast majority of these posters do better to ask their questions afresh than to post on zombie threads. In most cases they’re either responding to posts well into the conversation that have little relationship to the original topic or they’re addressing long-gone posters.
Historically, most students, both to BS and college, leave once admissions decisions are in. The longer-term posters all seem to be parents.
I belong to two other boards of a totally different nature. They are far more active and yet there is no prohibition against resurrecting old threads or asking some of the same questions (again and again and again). Old-timers may get annoyed, but they usually ignore the post or refer the poster to old threads. New timers might discuss it ad infinitum as if it were a tabula rosa.
Moderators pull threads that veer into the unacceptable or pull members who “misbehave”, but do little else.
I do agree, though, that is seems silly when someone asks a question of someone who has not posted in several years.
This board is useless without the very experienced parents who stick around here to guide the new and ignorant. I fear they are slipping away.
I agree with the need for the experience parents. I have found very useful information just reading threads with posts from Sevendad, choatiemom, exiemitalum, and so many more. It is just a little off putting when I see someone asks a question and they are told that question has already been asked and to do a search. You search the thread and still have questions but then you get into trouble for resurrecting an old thread.
Could you share those boards? I like this one, and love the info I have gotten, but it seems that this year the GLADCHEMMS and TSAO schools are the only ones being discussed. I have done internet searches but cannot seem to find other resources that may talk about other schools. I can only hope that this means that my kid is the only one who applied to the schools of his choice and will be a shoo-in! :-j
VACAlover, my daughter is applying to non-TSAO schools. Governor’s, Tabor, Brooks, Lawrence, St Mark’s, Concord, and St George’s. You do have company, just under the radar.
I have learned a lot here and hope the experienced parents will stick around to help once M10, A10 and the summer roll around!
A mix of schools here, including EHS, NMH, and Suffield, in addition to a few GLADCHEMMS. You’re not alone! 