Lessons learned: As a parent of a senior

<p>NEVER assume you will get into any particular school, no matter how solid your application/grades/test scores/recs/ECs are!!! No one is a shoo in. Find safeties and matches that you love and would be happy to attend. And look beyond the same 25 schools that everyone else wants to go to because there are some incredible schools out there that you probably have never heard of. Many of them would love to have students who wanted and were qualified for HYPSM etc. but did not get in. It is actually fun to go to a school who really wants you, not just the ones you had to beg to get in.</p>

<p>Cast a wide net if you are looking for financial/merit aid. Don't apply to all of the same kind of schools either. Your definition of need, FAFSA's definition of need may not jive with a college's definition of need, and all that matters is the college's. Also how they meet the need is important. Getting $50K of loans is not a good deal!</p>

<p>Agree wholeheartedly w/HeartArt. Look at schools that fit your kids plans, interest, etc. Both of my S' are going to "no name" schools, but are perfect for them. One is considered a "hidden gem" by HS counselors, and not just at his HS. </p>

<p>Look beyond the usual big names. There are lots of good schools, lower tier, that give serious merit $$ to strong students, not just typical CCers.</p>

<p>We knew going in that we were looking for merit aid, so S applied to a lot of schools that offered it. Luckily, he was invited to 5 scholarship weekends. We hadn't planned on this amount of travel during the last semester of school. His work load is tough, and he was competing in some science competitions as well. So, I wish we would have known in advance that some of the merit scholarships require on campus visits and interviews, so that we could better budget time and money.</p>

<p>I'd also look at the cost of attendance at the schools and compare that to the merit award. $24 k at a school with a COA of $43K is much different than $24K at a school with a COA of $53K. When we started, I was just looking at the merit awards and assumed that the COAs would be about the same -- they are not.</p>

<p>I am glad I did TONS of research, otherwise D would have missed a lot of opportunities. I could not believe how little some families (kids and parents) know in regrad to opportunites in their chosen area of interest even in their own town. We have discovered it while taking D to her numerous interviews and talking to other parents and kids who were totally clueless.</p>

<p>Don't assume that your kid is going to your alma mater. No matter how many times the two of you visited.</p>

<p>Ask teachers for recommendations EARLY EARLY EARLY!! D started asking the first week of school in senior year, which helped her meet the early October college application deadline to one school.</p>

<p>An application is NOT complete and ready for review until ALL conditions are met, application, fee, test scores, recommendations, essay, etc. etc.</p>

<p>Accept that you will not be able to know or do everything and that you certainly will not be able to just "make" your kid do everything you have learned one "should" do. </p>

<p>Develop lots of strategies for maintaining patience and soothing yourself (and your kid). There is no one right way to do any of this and it is a major life transition/rite of passage for both kids and parents. </p>

<p>What is right for one kid is not necessarily right for another (even with--or especially within) one family. </p>

<p>And most kids (if you actually look at national stats) go to one of their top 3 choices in colleges. Don't let posters or stats on this board discourage or distort your walk on your own path. It is all just data and not all data is sound or sufficient.</p>

<p>And use a board like this to maintain your sense of humor and to direct your parental obsessiveness rather than driving your kid nuts! I am so grateful for what I learned and could spout off about here...</p>

<p>I think I'll be back to weigh in on this one when the dust has settled and a college has been chosen...</p>

<p>Marian and Coolweather, we all have very similar sons. I didn't read some of my son's essays either. He did let me read his Common Application essay though. </p>

<p>I've found it's helpful to make an appointment with him to talk about college. If I just bring it up out of the blue, he gets that deer in the headlights look. I appear to be much more excited about college than he is. </p>

<p>My niece was so certain and set on a college that she applied ED. In the end, she didn't receive any merit scholarships. On the other hand, my son who applied RD, has gotten several merit scholarships.</p>

<p>Parents- Fill out the FASA for your student early. Your kid does not have access to your records. It is widely known that the tax information for that year isn't mailed out before the FASA due date so you will have to estimate using past records mixed with the current financial situation of the family. Absolutely hate it when the parent throws it onto the student to figure out. They are dealing with enough application paperwork and need you to do it sooner than later. Yes, it would be a good learning experience but students are juggling classes,ECs, application essays...so help them and be gracious about it.</p>

<p>This Thread has been REALLY helpful. I am a mom of a junior. We have looked at 6 colleges, and plan on looking at 6 more before then end of the summer. I am hoping to take note of some of the excellent ideas posted here. Thanks to all.</p>

<p>I have created a spreadsheet and we stick to it. After that, was no brainer. First choice fell thru, second was a winner. That is where D. is now and we all (D including) are very happy with her choice.</p>

<p>Would you be willing to share your spreadsheet?</p>

<p>If so, please email me at <a href="mailto:twhitemk@yahoo.com">twhitemk@yahoo.com</a> Thanks!</p>

<p>My spreadsheet consisted entirely of combined bs/md programs that my D was interested in. I can share it, if I still have it (D. is a sophmore). I do not think it will be interesting to anybody outside of my D's narrow focus of such programs.</p>

<p>Sorry, spreadsheet is gone. I identified important factors like SAT II reguirements, ACT /SAT scores, GPA, number of spots, number of applicants last year, contacts, cost, dates, reguirements and availability of scholarships, assay / interview requirements and dates. I let my D to rank them. These are very selective programs with very few spots (sometime only 10) available. I even include requirements for her minor with the dates and contacts. I could not print the moster on one page of legal size, I had to tape it together with scotch tape, it was very detailed and served us very well.</p>

<p>If you live in California, apply to more UC schools than you think will be necessary. The rejection of top students at multiple UC's this year has been remarkable and many solid students have been rejected from all their choices. My son didn't get into Davis (or Cal State SLO, for that matter) and we were really sweating it until he was accepted at UCSD the following week. In retrospect, we should have also applied to UCSB and perhaps UCSC or UCR to ensure we had an in-state UC option. Also in regard to UC's, it's been a bit of an eye opener as I read posts on CC to see that students can be rejected from one UC, but be offered a Regents scholarship to another. When it's time for my daughter to apply we will definitely cast a wider net.</p>

<p>If you are considering the very top reach schools, read The Gatekeeper. Helps you realize in a big way what a crapshoot it is getting into the elite schools, so you and your kid--who keeps being told they're a shoo-in for those big names--will know the truth. Helps keep you grounded. It was a real eye-opener for me.</p>

<p>Other helpful threads</p>

<p>101 Things I Wish I'd Known Before the College Search </p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/466871-101-things-i-wish-id-known-before-college-search.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/466871-101-things-i-wish-id-known-before-college-search.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Some Guidance For The Parents of Juniors (class of 2013) </p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/448440-some-guidance-parents-juniors-class-2013-a.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/448440-some-guidance-parents-juniors-class-2013-a.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Swallows to Capistrano ( Financial Aid Myths and Realities )
<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/492777-swallows-capistrano-financial-aid-myths-realities.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/492777-swallows-capistrano-financial-aid-myths-realities.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>HOOKOLOGY 101: special, college-applicant qualities as admissions advantages </p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/144779-hookology-101-special-college-applicant-qualities-admissions-advantages.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/144779-hookology-101-special-college-applicant-qualities-admissions-advantages.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Senior parents: Help for parents of juniors </p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/140378-senior-parents-help-parents-juniors.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/140378-senior-parents-help-parents-juniors.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Just How Hard Admission Can Be </p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/116204-just-how-hard-admission-can.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/116204-just-how-hard-admission-can.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>If you knew then what you know now... </p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/64383-if-you-knew-then-what-you-know-now.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/64383-if-you-knew-then-what-you-know-now.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Buying a lottery ticket: A lesson from CC </p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/48099-buying-lottery-ticket-lesson-cc.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/48099-buying-lottery-ticket-lesson-cc.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>The long (financial) road to matriculation... </p>

<p>For financial reason and with lots of angst, evil_robot turned down his dream school last year for a less highly rated college that offered him excellent merit aid. Now he returns to CC to say he's flourishing. </p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/37237-long-financial-road-matriculation.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/37237-long-financial-road-matriculation.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Thanks sybbie!! I went looking for some of these, but forgot some of the wonderful and creative titles!!! </p>

<p>Reading these contain so much information that could be so helpful and answer questions parents/students would not know to even ask.</p>

<p>Thanks again sybbie!!</p>

<p>Kat</p>

<p>ps ooh I should have known by the creative titles to just search under curm's nick and YOURS!!</p>