I find the nudges about keeping a thread on topic to be extremely annoying. It’s akin to helicopter parenting. I have no trouble when posters move off on a tangent that’s related to the topic. Often, this can lead to more interesting discussions.
Sometimes closing a topic seems arbitrary. I never read the topic on sheet sizes/sets, but it’s now closed. Seriously, what could be controversial about sheets?
A number of years ago there was a separate Politics thread in the Parent Cafe. I don’t remember why it went away, but it seemed like a place where folks had the option to discuss political issues if they wanted to do so. Those who didn’t want to discuss politics could simply ignore it. Why not return to something similar and have a moderation free zone?
Fyi, the other forum I read has it’s off topic/current events subforum visible only to registered users. That’s prevented troublemakers from signing up only to t**** the forum.
Are you talking about the fitted sheets thread? It was a two year old thread that somehow got reopened, most likely because of someone posting an advertising link. Ergo, it was closed. I’ve reported a couple of those myself.
In terms of threads closing because of “asked and answered,” if it is closed because of people repeating themselves or arguing back and forth, it probably serves no purpose. But there’s no harm in leaving it open.
If a tread moves off topic and there is continuing interest and discussion of the new topic, it likely deserves its own thread. If there’s nothing more to discuss on the original topic, the thread will stop naturally. Some of you have been opening such new threads. I think (opinion) it would be good for all of us to keep an eye out for circumstances that warrant it.
If, for example, someone mentions free Krispy Kreme donuts on a vaccine thread, and the discussion veers into ongoing discussion of best donuts, didn’t donuts deserve their own thread? A year from now, someone may be going to, say, Portland Oregon and wants to get donuts. They remember an interesting discussion. Will they remember it was in a vaccine thread? Probably not! Much easier to locate a topic if it is mentioned in the thread title.
There have been quite a few phantom posts lately in the cafe. Where a new poster comments on a 2 year old post. That is what happened on the topic of sheets.
I look through posts very early in the morning and I’ve have flagged a few that have been bumped up by a random poster with spam. I report it as spam and the thread gets closed.
There are a lot of very intelligent posters in this community, and there have been some wonderful conversations, discussions, witty/clever banter and a lot of very useful knowledge/information imparted here. I really miss the days of the clever repartee. There is a wealth of information, and with that often comes differences of perspective on many things. We like to discuss, explore, question, and as someone mentioned above, many of us old farts were trained to be critical thinkers. So, please, if we want to question, challenge, discuss, explore, disagree, as long as its within the TOS and in a respectful manner, please quit telling us that we are debating or bickering. SO WHAT??? One person’s lively discussion is another person’s “debate”. Please let that be allowed here.
Some words in caps=emphasis pretty much only in completely plain text forums.
But in forums like this one, where we have the option to mark our posts in bold or italics (or heck, we can go crazy and use bold italics!), alongside [color=“red”]any[/color] [size=“+1”]number[/size] ofother methods for emphasis, yeah, all caps is shouting.
a. The Terms of Service say nothing at all about topicality or debating or whatever.
b. The Forum Rules are really what we’re talking about here.
I don’t know if this opinion is shared by those who are in charge, but in my view, this is the difference between, respectively, a constitution of an organization and its by-laws—and by design, organizational constitutions are designed to be hard to change, while by-laws are designed to be more flexible.
But either way, the forum rules include lines such as “we expect discussion to be courteous even when disagreement may be vigorous”. I feel like in some cases, the Parents Cafe isn’t being allowed vigorous but polite disagreement—or at least vigorous but polite disagreement with the sort of person who routinely flags posts they don’t like.
I’ve said in other contexts that one possible idea, and maybe the Parents Cafe would be a good place to try it out, would be to place a limit on the number of flags any one individual can place within some delimited period of time—make people think about whether what they’re flagging really is actually impolite or not.
Yes!!! There are many valid points being stated here. However, I can say firmly state that from my perspective as a moderator, the Covid thread, which started out being so helpful, ended up becoming a big problem. Last year around this time, I felt CC was becoming a very angst ridden and not terribly positive place. I am sure the same was true of MANY other websites. I had just started moderating then, and I felt very conflicted about when to put on my moderator hat.
CC used to have a politics sub forum and it was locked eventually because it became an angry, unpleasant place. I love Parent Cafe, but see no reason for bringing politics to the forums. We live in divisive times and it’s better, IMO, to keep CC neutral.
How many posters have we lost over the last year? How much has posting volume dropped?
Hey, I was checking here multiple times a day this time last year, mostly the Covid thread but also wandering to other threads. It was a vibrant community. Now? I might check daily. Might. And I have been home with nothing but time on my hands. I blame too vigorous moderation. Try a lighter hand and see what happens.
@Lizardly , you ask how many posters have been lost over the last year? Apparently, there will be one more, as I my thoughts are being minimalized by some on this board.
All I did was point out that there can be no good, frank, back and forth discussion unless there is the acceptance of the premise that though all may have opinions, and are free to express those opinions, opinions cannot be presented as fact, because they are not fact. I have been told that this is not acceptable, that all opinions should carry the same weight as fact. Additionally, I have been chastised for my use of caps to indicate emphasis (???).
So, I bid you all good bye. Go ahead and assert that your opinions are fact, thereby accepting no other points of view. Moderator need not ban me, I remove myself. So go ahead, believe whatever you like, making it true because you believe it so.
I’m probably the minority here but I feel as if moderation has had a lighter hand lately. I’ve seen many more posts where moderators “redirect” conversation in a kind way and make sure to inform participants why they are stepping in.
I love the café. It has become my virtual coffee club meeting place, especially during Covid isolation. But unlike an IRL gathering, I can learn from others all over the USA (and beyond?). I also appreciate total opposite points of views. Even better when they are well researched or reasoned.
What I don’t appreciate is when some posters want to force a point, and won’t let it go. Share your opinion. Maybe clarify your point once again. But then, give it up and let the debate continue with others. It often feels like some are trying to get in the last word of an argument. Perhaps if we keep in mind to treat each other as we would IRL gatherings, there would be more civility.
I also feel “politics” can be discussed, perhaps with greater oversight? At some point, other than decorating or food as example threads, many interesting topics eventually become political. Global warming? Masks? Vaccinations? The shrinking middle class? I’d love to be able to discuss these types of topics further, but so many are eventually closed. Maybe if and ONLY if they become snarky or mean, then the moderators intervene?
@MADad I’m sorry you feel pushed to leave. I hope you change your mind. Online we often don’t have enough clues to know we have pushed someone out or over the edge.
Re:politics maybe try a thread or two that doesn’t lead with the “this topic and politics” like “The State of a climate Change Due to Politics” but instead “Climate Change” - I know that’s a big one but choose your starting point.
I am on multiple times a day just to see what people have to say in my threads of interest, or if a new thread has started. Overall I feel that the forum has become much more pleasant and still very useful and informative. If I have something to say to a specific poster that I don’t feel is of general interest, I’ll send a PM.
I don’t think of this forum as a place to debate and argue over major issues of the day. However, it’s clear that many posters do use this site for that purpose and feel that vigorous discussion might be passionate but would remain respectful and polite. So far that hasn’t been the case, but who knows!
Perhaps the solution would be a subforum to discuss Major Issues, where moderation would only be involved in preventing name calling and abuse and clear TOS violations. Moderators could move threads that involve “lively discussion” aka bickering aka arguing aka disputing to that subforum.
I agree with @mathmom earlier in the thread about keeping the book club threads open indefinitely. We are always encouraged to read the earlier books, if we didn’t and comment on them.
Early this year I went to the thread to let people know that Netflix had made the book into a movie. The thread was then closed because it was old. When I wanted to inform everyone about the movie, I really wasn’t sure where to do it, and the original thread was the most logical. If I posted in the most recent book thread, people who had read “The Dig” but weren’t reading the current book might miss the information. Should I have started a new thread about that?
Sometimes I do get a bit annoyed when a thread gets closed, but often I can tell when the thread probably will.
@MADad Actually, I fully agree that some thinks their facts are “facts” and other people only have “opinions” Many people think and live in a silo and no other “facts” can enter their world.
We need diversity of thought. That means allowing others to express opinions we don’t share and treating everyone with respect.
I hope you seriously did not leave.
I don’t agree that the now closed politics forum became an angry and unpleasant place.
One issue I am seeing in this thread is a wide range of opinion as to what constitutes snark or crossing the line. Some people see conflict where others see a discussion.