I’m just curious as to what choices people who live in college towns have made concerning attending the local university.
I live in Oxford, Miss., home of Ole Miss, which is where I went to school. It has a top-notch honors program with generous merit aid. I’m trying to figure out which direction to point my kids; they aren’t sure either. If they were to attend locally I would want them to live on campus, and later in Greek housing or an apartment. I grew up only 30 miles from Ole Miss, and it was convenient to go home for laundry, ect. But there is a difference between being 30 miles away from home and being two miles away from home.
I don’t need to list the pros and cons, just curious what choices other people might have made and whether they were happy with their choices.
I grew up in a college town and my parents said that if I chose to attend that school (a public university but not the flagship), I’d have to live in a dorm (which still would have been only two or three blocks from my parents’ house). I chose to go to the flagship and was very happy with that choice.
For a non-commuter school, it is generally preferable to live on campus frosh year if cost of such is not a problem.
When the school is so close to home, commuting from home can be retained as a last resort cost reduction option if the family experiences unexpected financial problems while the student is in school, even though it may not be the preferred choice at a non-commuter school when cost is not a problem.
We’re close to a fine school and one of mine was very hesitant to apply. At the time, she said part of what she expected from college would be the chance to challenge herself on new turf. That here, while others were exploring the area around the school and the local program opps, including service, she’d be treading the same old boards, so to say. She had already been trying to sneak into parties, used the library, hung out in that immediate area.
I think that if a kid does stay near home, by choice, (and there are many good reason to chose Ole Miss,) it’s sometimes good if the kid and the parents draw a line about retreating home too often. We had that conversation.
DD could have gone for free at the school where I teach, which is a fairly good school. But it was never an issue. Everyone in the family always knew she would go somewhere distant.
We’re debating the same thing to one of the schools my son’s applying too. We plotted it out and it’s maybe 8 minutes from home to the dorm he’s likely live in. However, with me going back to work and us only having one car, I’d have to drop him off early in the morning in order to get both myself and husband to work. Or I’d have to drive him to a bus stop. (Our town does not have a good public transportation system.) Walking would take him through some really bad neighborhoods. We’re thinking it’d be easier for him to dorm. He could wake up, sleep, live, etc to his own schedule. He’s had 17 (by then 18) years of living at home. It’d be good for him to spread his wings some more.
My son says that living in a dorm will be a good learning experience as he’ll have apartment mates during grad school and the first few years of his career. He’s an only child and only used to us living with him.
I was with the vast majority of HS classmates who felt going further away for college was an important part of what going to college was all about. Especially considering most of us who did go away for college manage to attend on FA and/or scholarship packages which made expense less of a factor*.
If I ended up staying in NYC for college, it would have felt like a continuation of HS…especially considering I was already familiar with the campuses of many NYC area colleges and I would have had to commute due to the expense factor.
Ironically, the private LAC I ended up attending gave me enough FA/scholarship money so even factoring in travel expenses…it was still less expensive than attending the local colleges I was admitted to…especially NYU*.
If I had opted for NYU, I would have ended up in heavy debt like many other friends/colleagues who attended NYU rather than graduate with a small 3 figured loan which was paid off within 6 months of graduation. That and at the time and arguably even now, it was not as strong for my academic fields of interest as the LAC I ended up attending.
We are a 25 minute drive from where my daughter attended college (in a Boston suburb).
She was very happy with her choice, and pretty much only came home for holidays.
It was nice to be able to meet her for lunch and attend some of her school related functions.
We were also happy not to have to deal with Thanksgiving flights and the like (although obviously that was just a side benefit).
Editing to add: Perhaps you are interested more in the staying in a college town angle, rather than having offspring staying in a larger urban area. Consider that many (maybe even most?) college students don’t roam far from campus on a regular basis, and if your kids went away to college, the associated college towns may not have a whole lot to offer (thinking of small towns like Middlebury, VT or Northfield, MN).
We live in a college town, and both of ours attended largely because an enormous benefit for employees is a significant tuition break. tHey did apply elsewhere, and had other choices… locals get a cash incentive to commute freshman year. One took it, one did not. My dorm student moved to an apartment this year at our request; the commuter also lived off campus as an upperclassman. We could just afford it, with their help.
Many, many local students live at home rather than pay $28K over 4 years for housing on campus or a similar amount to be crammed like lemmings into apartments. Nobody thinks ill of them, and it doesn’t seem to adversely effect their experience. It is quite common for parents to offer a car for not living in a dorm . If all parties are willing to treat the student as an adult boarder, it can work. If they are in a dorm, we found it useful to be unavailable at times, to help them problem solve…no running home for forgotten items here.
My kids could have gone to the school I used to work at for free, like Wasatchwriter’s. But it’s closer to home than their HS was (they passed it on the way), and I didn’t think it would support their goals well. It was worth paying for them to have a more typical college experience. (But this school wasn’t nearly the level of a flaghip like Ole Miss.)
My son attended our flagship state university, which is a 40-minute drive from our house and on the route that my husband takes when he commutes to work every day. He lived in the dorms for two years and then in an off-campus apartment for two years.
It worked out fine – but I don’t think it would have worked out as well if he had commuted.
I know that millions of people commute to college, but most of them attend commuter schools. Being a commuter at a residential school could be a very lonely experience.
My husband has a friend who commuted to one of the Ivy League schools (for financial reasons). His friend got a fine education but never felt as though she was part of the university community. I wouldn’t have wanted that experience for my son.
My kids only applied to our college town state flagship. I can’t tell you how many of their classmates felt the need to go far away to school but then ended up transferring back.
The largest percent of every graduating class each year from all of the local public and private high schools here choose our backyard flagship.
When you have a highly-ranked institution with only $10k/year tuition which is less than 10 miles from home, why go anywhere else?
Generally I’d say kids live on campus rather than walk, bike or bus from home. There is limited/expensive parking so any local commuter students generally wouldn’t drive themselves. There is no requirement to live in a dorm but it’s an experience not to be missed and reasonably priced with no forced meal plan.
I can image so. Same with being a residential student at a mainly commuter school. (Though the effect is probably biggest for frosh, rather than upper class students who are more likely to have made their social connections in frosh year or make them in their major classes.)
We live walking distance from Florida Atlantic University . . . if our son decides to go there, we are encouraging him to live on campus. He’s been homeschooling for the last nine years and I feel like it’s important for him to branch out on his own a bit.
He already dual enrolls there and knows the campus well, which is nice.
I think it can be the best of both worlds. If they’re having a rough day they can come home (though for some kids this would be too tempting). I think my son can handle it, and will probably not want to come home constantly. But you never know. Parents have to be strong enough to have some reasonable boundaries.
I went 8 hours away from home and loved it. Think it just depends on the kid/family.
We are local to our flagship as well. My husband drives through campus on the way to work.
I would be fine with either of my kids going there. Son refused to apply. He’s at a school about an hour away. He probably averages coming home about once a month. There was a streak last spring where he came home every other weekend it seemed like. His sister was amused, given how adamant he had been about leaving town… Some of these trips we never even saw him. He’d come into town for some other reason. Stop by when we’re not home, then go back later that night.
D has applied to the flagship. It’s not her #1 choice at the moment but she’d be willing to attend. She would live in campus if she did and I expect we’d move her in and not see her much after that. She’s a pretty independent kid and she’s spent 5 summers away from home and only seeing us for the 4th of July weekend.
The flagship is very popular with kids from their high school, even though it’s a pretty competitive school that sends a fair number of kids to top national schools.
How old are your kids? Are they close to college age??
If you can afford other options, I think the “steering” you need to do is to be willing to show/visit lots of options - homebased and not homebased - and let your kids do the steering.
For them to be comfortable and confident, I think they need to be in the driver’s seat of making the decision of where to go, where to live - that kind of thing - all within your family’s affordability.
Edited to say that we live in a college town - public but not flagship (and I actually work for it) - none of my 3 were interested in attending - and I really fully supported that. I supported knowing a world beyond the town they have/had spent their first 18 years in.
We are considering retiring to a town with a few colleges. There are so many things the colleges offer that we would like…arts, entertainment, lively downtown, easy access to airports and health care.
Also, by reasonable boundaries, I mean it flowing the other way too. I would have to fight the urge to stop by my son’s dorm every day to see how he’s doing.
With my older son who moved to Nashville (my first kid to leave the nest), if I lived closer I know it would be tough for me to let him test his wings without me trying to help.
I think it’s important for young adults to have that experience.
