UVa is awesome, has a great ROTC program and I can put in a personal plug for the International Residential College. It is a fabulous, fabulous group of people.
That’s awesome news - so happy to hear this has worked out well after all! May he thrive & enjoy his college years at UVA!! Thanks for sharing the journey – and the good news.
I am just not sure you can judge by the way someone words a post and the overall thread of how the parents reacted to this seemed to me both believable and supportive. She also said:
While I agree that parents should be supportive, they also are allowed to have an opinion, even with an adult child. He had already been accepted to the Ivy, so not like she was pushing him at this point to achieve that goal.
Again, I think you are making some big leaps in saying that this kid has problems with self worth. I think a lot of 18 yo kids want to do something “real” and don’t see more school as fulfilling that.
@mom2and , I hear what you’re saying, and I was fairly sanguine about the whole thing and have followed along through the entire thread, until the last post where she expressed her disappointment about the ivy, and then I was like, really!?! That’s just my gut reaction, and I’m sticking with it.
I can see her saying her disappointment without giving me bad taste.
Such as if there are family members near that particular Ivy, it’s closer to home, or it’s an alma mater, etc.
I would be disappointed if DS did not choose my alma mater (not even planning to apply, LoL), but I would happily pay for another school. I may, once in a while, mention disappointment, but DS will not feel not living up to expectations nor having let down us. I hope not. (He will just say tough luck. lol Mine are not that fragile.)
Perhaps they are an asian/international family, then things can be read in a somewhat different tone, and the way OP described is far from a stereotypical asian family.
Congratulations and best wishes for your child @Light1012
UVa is a fantastic outcome and can take him wherever he wants to go in life. Congratulations. I think this happened because you listened to your son and he listened to you and together you found an option that makes sense and will satisfy him.
And so you know a friend of my S went ROTC to UVa and had a fantastic experience a the college. Got a great education, loved ROTC (his dad died in 9/11 so I think it was important to him to do this), and he still had time to get involved in other activities on campus. He was commissioned as an officer after graduation and is currently serving.
“Remember…this whole college process is not about getting into the most prestigious colleges but finding an affordable option that is the best fit for the student.” - Amen 
Congrats! I think you not only got a good result but helped your son see how to research and evaluate options. You had influence but he made his decision.
To two other points, for those asking about Marine officer training, ALL Marine officers go to The Basic School at Quantico which is a six month grind. Infantry officers will go to a separate school afterwards that is even more demanding. If he chooses that path, he will be tested.
And @BlueMoonArmy, officers do know what college fellow officers attended and do take note. No, it doesn’t affect promotion directly but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. The education is what matters most. GPA is not the only factor in MOS selection. Performance in summer training while in ROTC, PFT scores, etc, will play a key role as well.
Will he get an ROTC scholarship?
@Sportsman88 Officers only know what college you went to if you tell them. And they don’t take note. It shows up nowhere on promotion boards. The worst you’ll get is some jokes about where you went. But by the time everyone is O-3, they’re all probably going to go to a for-profit school to check off the Master’s degree requirement for promotion to O-4, so they’re all going to be in the butt of the same jokes eventually.
I know GPA isn’t the only factor, but it is by far the largest factor. Having a high GPA, and not being a screw-up pretty much solidifies a good selection unless they pull a “needs of the service” on you and throw you in a job you never even wrote down on your list.
@nw2this If he’s doing Marines, that means he’s doing NROTC, and all NROTC cadets are on some kind of scholarship. At a minimum, there will be a stipend.
I was wondering if he had missed the deadlines.
Hi,
I resent the comment some of you have made about the prestige issue. We are not prestige obsessed. But we do want son to fulfill his potential, and the truth is that no matter where yo go in this world, the public perception of the college you’ve attended DOES matter.
We unfortunately missed the scholarship deadline for the next school year. We will pay for this year, and hopefully get a scholarship for next year which will make things easier.
@Light1012 After working a few years in a regular job, no one really cares where you went to school. After all, if someone graduated from college 5 years ago, why would you judge their college performance when you have their actual work history to look at?
People don’t care about Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs or Bill Gates because of the schools they went to (which they didn’t finish anyway). You act as if his whole life will be ruined if he doesn’t go to a tier 1 school. And if we’re going to be completely honest, the income, wealth, status and influence of a child’s parents is a far bigger determining factor of how well they’ll succeed.
Bill Gates got into computers at a young age because his father had the money to send him to private schools that actually had computers when he was growing up. Computers were ridiculously experiences in Bill’s youth, so they were literally a device for the wealthy only. Mark Zukerberg also received a private school education growing up, and he had his own personal software developer as a tutor.
You’ll find that most Ivy League or other Tier 1 school graduates who achieved a stellar level of success had wealthy parents that could afford great education opportunities for their kid at a young age, and the richer the child’s parents were, the greater level of success the child achieved. Which makes sense, because wealthy parents can afford better opportunities for their children. Wealthy parents also make it easier for the child to take risks early in life to peruse business ventures, start-ups and risky but lucrative fields.
There are outliers for sure, like Steve Jobs (but he’s not a role model you’d want your child to follow), however, they are far fewer in number than the kids who came from wealth. An Ivy League degree alone will not automatically make you a part of the same society that the wealthy kids came from. It just gives your kid the chance to have networking opportunities with very rich and powerful alumni of the school from an early point.
An Ivy League degree will also not turn someone into a success. Most learning that a person does is outside of college. After all, it’s only 4 years of a 70-80 year life span. Successful people also don’t expect a particular degree to teach them everything. What separates your kid from being a success instead of an “Average Joe” is the willingness to learn at all points in their life, not just when they’re in college. If someone develops the mentality that an Ivy League/Tier 1 degree will give them a one way ticket to success, then they’re already doomed to never be successful.
@BlueMoonArmy Our points are close so I don’t want to talk past each other or seem we that we are in blatant disagreement. My goal is to discuss the nuances. No, where one obtained a college degree will not affect promotion. I noted that in my earlier post. In most commands, fellow officers will know what college others attended if nothing else by the brief bio at the command Hail and Farewell. If one goes around bragging, “I graduated from Harvard,” then it will not bode well. If one is a quiet professional, others will know and respect it. Fitness Reports determine promotion, not a college transcript. Professional reputation within your community sets you up for key billets and long term success.
My second point was it’s more about a quality education than prestige. I don’t think a directional university is going to give the same quality education as UVA. I think honor’s colleges from State U’s that are a notch below UVA will provide an outstanding education. Today’s officers must learn to think critically, to have the ability to analyze complex problems, and to articulate their point of view. Some undergraduate environments will do that better than others. The Navy focuses on STEM majors due to the technical nature of many career paths but that can be at the detriment of a liberal arts core. I like that the Marines are open to all majors as long as you take key classes, plus of course NROTC courses.
Finally, yes, GPA matters. A 3.5 is better than a 3.0 and a 3.0 is better than a 2.5. I don’t believe the Marines are going to nitpick a 3.5 vs a 4.0. I stand by my statement that performance at OCS in summer before senior year or Leatherneck for USNA Mids will be the biggest determining factor in military standing. Marines want to see how you hold up under pressure in a harsh environment. Can you still think, communicate, and lead under heavy physical and mental pressure.
http://www.marines.com/becoming-a-marine/commissioning-programs/four-year-colleges/nrotc
On the scholarship, I don’t have time to check now. As stated by OP, at this point it’s probably too late for a freshman scholarship but a three year scholarship is still an option. He would likely get the stipend which helps with books, etc. On a four year scholarship, the commitment to Active Duty is after the first year. Not sure with the three year scholarship.
Last note, you are coming from an Army perspective and I am coming from a Navy perspective. Every service does things a little differently. Sometimes we are aware of the differences and sometimes we are not.
Congratulations to your son! Sounds like he made a wise decision.
For the record, UVA is a Tier 1school. But yes that wouldn’t matter whether he decides to go for Marine officer training or into Intelligence or whatever. 
‘on the job’/training performance will be key.
Congratulations to your son.
If takes a lot of self awareness to Know what one wants and what one is good at, and a lot of courage for a young person to go against parents ’ expectation. Beside excellence, he’s shown he has character.
@Sportsman88 I’m in the Air Force, not Army. My username is a reference to a video game. The AF is primarily about GPA for selections out of ROTC. The first pilot I ever met in the AF was a Drama major from ROTC. I’ve flown with a pilot who told me he majored in Farming Science because it was easy to get a 4.0 in it, and he REALLY wanted to be a pilot.
AF officers don’t need to be an all-terrain roughneck. Hell, AF officers are only graded as “Meets” or “Doesn’t Meet” standards on their annual evaluations. This includes fitness. An AF officer who scored the bare minimum passing score of 75 is viewed the same as the officer who got a 100, and boards have no way of knowing your score. Being a bureaucrat officer in the AF gets you farther than anything else. The Air Force itself is a branch made for officers. It promotes officers the fastest and caters to their needs more. Unfortunately, this is to the detriment of the enlisted. But it’s the best branch to be an officer in.
Regardless of the quality of the school you go to, everyone in the military will ultimately get the same training. The military has their way of doing things, and you have to learn their way, hence why even Nuclear Engineers fail out of Navy nuke school. They don’t learn to do it the “Navy way”. All officers have the same Professional Military Education, which is expected to get all officers up to speed on their career field and being an officer in general. Regardless if you went to Harvard or Podunk, you’ll both sit in the same class and learn the same things.
This is why I say the college you do ROTC at doesn’t matter. By the end of your first contract in the military, you’ll have so much other education and training under your belt that no one will care where you went to college. The military has the benefit of allowing anyone of any social status or background the opportunity to reach any level they desire.
If the young man decides to drop out of the ROTC program he will be in an excellent college.
“the truth is that no matter where yo go in this world, the public perception of the college you’ve attended DOES matter.”
That’s about as far from the “truth” as one can get. Don’t confuse your prejudices with truth.
What you DO with your education determines what you’ll do in this world, not the name on the college sticker on your bumper.