<p>Hey all -
after the great advice and help while getting kid #1 placed (heading off to be a 10th grader at Culver Girls' Academy in about a month), hoping you all have some more good advice for kid #2. </p>
<h1>2 very different from #1 - not as active in athletics, more into music, over-comfortable and bored where he is so needs academic challenge. Also want to get him away from the NYC vibe if possible - I would like him in a place that is a little less focussed on how much money mommy or daddy has.</h1>
<p>I'm thinking Exeter (where I went) or Andover - on the coast, but big enough, diverse enough, and academically focussed enough that there is a counter-weight to the consumerist atmosphere (was that put tactfully enough?) I feel a little dumb saying this, but, what's the difference between Andover and Exeter? I have such an Exeter-centric view that it took me a while to realize I know next to nothing about the competition down the road! </p>
<p>Thoughts? Suggestions? Other places that combine heavy academics with geographic and other aspects of diversity? </p>
<p>You might want to have a look at Cate and Thacher, both in California. These schools offer academic rigor, a diverse and welcoming student body, and so much more. Our family’s experience with Cate School has been great. link - [Cate</a> School](<a href=“http://www.cate.org%5DCate”>http://www.cate.org)</p>
<p>St. Andrew’s in Delaware. Certainly not as big as Andover or Exeter but academically challenging and diverse. Please do check out the website and don’t forget to watch the new admission’s video.</p>
<p>CateParent is right. Sent my son to Thacher (his choice 100%). We live in D.C. </p>
<p>The culture of the School is one of academic excellence, modesty, hard work, doing and not talking about doing, the outdoors, horses, mountains. Their code: Honor, Fairness, Kindness and Truth permeates everything. An East Coast student gains the benefit of that extra independence that comes from being far away from home, from navigating the travel, and from being in a part of the country with a different climate and a very different “vibe.” Big money, entitled behavior is not evident at Thacher. The Horse Program during freshman year pretty much scrubs that away.</p>
<p>We look back over his four years at Thacher and are so glad that he didn’t stay on the East Coast. I’ve had to pay a lot of tuition over the last 10 years (three kids, college, all full pay). It’s been stressful. My smartest investment was Thacher. Check it out. PM me if you want more info.</p>
<p>I sympathize since I’m an alum myself. I can tell you if your child isn’t excelling in anything spectacular then you may need a back-up plan. I’m an alum (can you tell?) and I know they had to make a lot of calls this year to alum to tell them their kids weren’t getting in - it’s just that much competition.</p>
<p>If he’s “bored” at his current school you might try a school that is academically challenging but less of a pressure cooker. Look for schools where there is a personality match for his interests in music, but a nurturing staff that will provide a challenge but still let him be a “kid.” Know what I mean? I love Exeter, but it wasn’t the best choice for my child even though she was competitive in music, tennis and debate.</p>
<p>But to tell you the truth, Andover did seem very different from Exeter in their approach to our application so you might check out the “competition” and see if it’s what you’re looking for. I was pleasantly surprised and could see why they often select students Exeter doesn’t. Still - it’s intense and the campus is bigger - so pick a school based on your son rather than stats and reputation and you can’t go wrong. We ended up choosing Taft and are thrilled with the decision based on our phone calls with them after enrollment (i.e They treated me like family even though she hasn’t started yet.)</p>
<p>Sending a kid cross country (or other far distance) for BS requires a rare special parent. We did the reverse (West Coast family who sent S east) and have found it very rough, even though BS has been a positive experience. Can’t be there for sports games, couldn’t get there quickly when he was in ER after a cracked femur, can’t really get a connection going with the school/advisor/faculty. My 2 cents is pick somewhere that fits your kid and allows you to still be a parent from time to time. Believe me, we are not helicoptoring parents (can’t from 3000 miles away) but we feel like NO ONE can replace parents, especially to be your D/S’s support and advocate. There are teachers, coaches and advisors, but they are still busy people with multiple kids to watch, teaching, and their own lives, so parents need to still be there for their own kids. We have found the physical distance tough (Thnxgiving, Xmas and Spring break notwithstanding). Frankly, we have learned more about the entire school year since he’s been home this summer than we did with daily calls, etc. Nothing replaces seeing your kid at the dinner table nightly or giving them a hug, whether they still want it or not.</p>