Looking for private schools in Massachusetts or CT?

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Thanks for the thoughtful and informative response, Gnarwail. You raise good points.

I guess we should closely compare the Hopkins curriculum with our local high school’s. I’d be interested in your and other forum members’ advice as to how to gauge the quality of the academics. That’s the million-dollar, and elusive, question for everybody, with all schools, I suppose.

I’m also curious as to why you feel Hopkins isn’t the academic powerhouse people like to say it is.

We thought of Hopkins because of its national ranking on lists like Forbes’, and we figured it must be good if all those Yale profs send their kids there. It also has a reputation in our area for excellent academics – but you never know what opinions are based on.

My husband and I have both attended elite schools, but we’ll have to consider whether having a somewhat different attitude from the parents you describe would matter, and how much. [This would probably be true at any private school.] Also, how much it would matter to our son not to live in the same place as most of his classmates.

Right now, we are thinking Hopkins or our public high school. I guess we fall into the category of local-ish families who won’t consider boarding school. Our son wouldn’t want to board, and I wouldn’t want him to deal with the day/boarding tension you mentioned, so that eliminates all the BSs plus the day options at Choate/RH and Taft. Hamden Hall, which I haven’t heard about, is exactly the same distance from us as Hopkins, according to Googlemaps. (Also, Hopkins has a bus from our area, which lessens the commuting burden, for us at least, if not for our son.) Day schools that are closer to where we live really put the prep in prep school (jacket and tie required) and emphasize athletics heavily, neither of which interest us or our son.

You’re right that financial aid remains a concern with Hopkins.

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I certainly understand the interest in a school like Hopkins, @tunnelbana That Forbe’s list, though, is risible, absurd. There’s no comparison of the education or the experience at a proper boarding prep school, even as a day student, compared to one of those NY day schools. None at all. And those NY day schools are awful in so many ways. Proper prep schools across the US are chock full of kids who got the heck out of those NY schools as soon as they got to 9th grade, but that’s an entirely different discussion.

As far as Hopkins goes, it’s a good school, and the reputation for academic insanity might be reasonable when compared to Hillhouse, but not Hotchkiss or Choate or Andover or Exeter or so many other schools the folks around here talk about all the time.

The pervasive sons-of-Yale vibe at Hopkins is something some people really desire–and as I said before, I know people who moved to New Haven so their kids could wallow in that vibe with less of a drive and less hassle–but much like the proper boarding prep schools have plenty of kids who ran from NY private day schools like their butts were on fire, those same prep schools all have kids who passed on Hopkins. The Choate day student population usually has a bunch of kids who passed on Hopkins also, and that ride to Choate is kind of a hike. As I said before, nobody chooses Hopkins over Choate or Hotchkiss because Hopkins is the better school–though it might be better for you or me or someone else for various reasons.

If you live where there’s a bus to Hopkins, that’s a huge bonus. The last I knew, Hopkins was telling parents to form carpools from Cheshire and outlying places like that if they were worried about the daily drive. That’s stupid. A bus is a real step up.

Hamden Hall is a good school, country day school or some such, but a sort of hidden gem of private high schools in that area. If you’re considering expensive private days schools in NH county, it’s worth a look.

For me, if it was a choice between driving to Choate or driving (or bus) to Hopkins, I’d take Choate 100%. Having to make that decision is probably a nice problem to have for anyone local to those schools. There was a time when a prominent Yale family–with an active connection to Hopkins–had one kid at a Big 5 boarding school that was not Choate and another kid at Choate as a day student. As I understood it at the time, both kids had passed on Hopkins.

It all comes to priorities and choices. Connecticut has so many private schools. Hopkins might be the absolute best choice for you.

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I have to put my two cents in here. Hamden Hall is NOT in the same league as Hopkins. End of discussion.

My DD attends Choate as a day student and most of her close friends are boarders, so not sure to what you are referring to when mentioning “tensions.” In fact, half the “day students” actually MOVED locally from other states/countries to BECOME day students. The majority of day students spend at least 12 hours on campus, often including weekends, so not much difference there. It depends on your child, of course. There are some day students who stick to themselves, but they do not even hang out with other day students. Loners will be loners.

If you were thinking that the day students are “less qualified” in some way, please be aware that the Honors Track (top third) is pretty equally split between day/boarders. Some of the day students are several YEARS ahead in math and/or languages than some boarders.

I agree that some of the Catholic schools in the area are quite good. Xavier is known for being stricter and better academics than Notre Dame.

Hopkins families suffer the commute because parents drop off the kids on way to work at Yale in New Haven. Students do not spend as many hours at school as a day student at Choate. Hopkins not known for being generous with FA.

And WHY is Choate not in the mix? Have you visited? Seen the gorgeous campus? The culture of day students staying until 9pm is convenient for two parents working and the FA is much better than Hopkins. Good luck!

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Thanks much – I appreciate all the insight from both of you. As you know, this is a huge, tricky, personal decision that we’re just at the beginning of, not having visited schools, or had our child take the admissions test. I haven’t even researched whether our son would be likely to get in to any of these schools.

BTW, if a school accepts both the SSAT and ISEE, do you know if they weight either one more favorably?

Glad to hear that not all the day students at Choate feel like second-class citizens. A couple of threads indicated that was the case.

What do the day students do on campus until 9 at night? Is it like high-performing kids anywhere --sports and other extracurricular activities? Do they start their homework when they get home? For us, that would be 45 mins later. (We’re in Fairfield County.)

For now, based on your thoughts, I’ll put Choate day back on the table, and look into visiting. Do either of you know whether sports are required there?

Thanks again.

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There is a thread “everything about Choate”. Check it out.
Almost all of the day students stay for the mandatory study hour (formal time 7:30-9/9:30) to do homework, attend the special workshops (about once a week), and meet the teachers for study sessions (each has their own schedule.)

There is a long line of cars at Hill House Circle for pickup starting around 8:45pm, some a little earlier or later than that. Day students cannot be in dorms during study hours, so they are in their lounges or the Mellon Library, located right on top of the lounges. A list (by town) of ALL day students is sent out in August so that car pools can be arranged. Most students are part of one. We happen to be closer than most, so makes no sense for us, but we still check in with local parents, now that WINTER IS COMING… Ugh. BTW, heard that many teachers will allow a student to SKYPE into a class if weather is really bad.

Most day students try to get a good amount of homework done on campus. Those with an hour car ride do some on the way home or to school. I only know of one student who actually WAITS to get home to start. Must be able to live on 4 hours of sleep(lives 30 minutes away).

All Choaties have to participate in some EC: sports or art activity. You can get an exception if your special sport is not available, which is rare. I know of a day student who goes to Yale a few days a week for special training that will help out a varsity Choate team. If your sport is swimming, you can do the club team housed at Choate, but attendance is mandatory and is taken seriously. Some ECs are crazy hard (crew), while some are crazy easy (hiking, only two times a week.)

As far as being second class citizens, it really depends on your child and their personality. No one talks about money here and it is a pretty positive atmosphere. Basically, if you made it in, you are good to go. There are a lot of interesting and successful kids here, but they are all just that: kids.

Go check it out and see if you and your son feel it is a fit. Best of luck in your journey.

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@tunnelbana If you are on the Fairfield County bus route for Hopkins, you are WAY too far from Choate to be a day student. Don’t do it. That would be a nightmare. It’s highly unlikely you are 45 minutes away every day, 10 months a year, for four years. That commute would be devolve into a death march. Your kid would be at a huge disadvantage compared to boarders and the day students who live mere minutes from campus on foot. If there are day students at Choate in 2015 with hour-long car rides to campus every day, shame on the school for admitting those people. As an aside, doesn’t Andover still have a pretty strict policy about limiting day student admissions to a less than 30 minute drive? I think even that’s too much, but doesn’t Choate have such a policy? An hour in the car can take you out of Connecticut starting out from Choate! Why am I asking you? Regardless, I say beware.

(Any day student at a predominately boarding school is ALWAYS a second-class citizen. The school is a boarding school, built around and for boarding students, and the day students are not them. Day students with laborious commutes are even worse off. Whether the disadvantages of being a day student outweigh the advantages of the school can only be decided by individual families–usually they shouldn’t because many of the schools are oodles better than the local public options, but some people are really sensitive, which is too bad. (I’m not saying don’t go to Choate as a day student if you are close enough, but I’m a glass is empty person even if it’s mostly full because I never want to be accused of the hard sell with this stuff.) If Choate in particular has a culture which integrates day students into the school better than many/most, that’s great. Choate does have a relatively high percentage of day students compared to peer institutions. At a day school, everyone leaves. That’s something.)

Hopkins with a bus, even a long ride is way better than that trainwreck of being committed to driving to Choate every day from such a distance. Plus the Google machine tells me that Hopkins’ bus company uses mostly speedy vans for the majority of the FF county routes. Nice.

Hamden Hall is an excellent school. It’s not in the same league as Hopkins as in it doesn’t have that stink of Yale about it, and it doesn’t have the history, so it doesn’t have the cachet, but if you want an expensive day school in central Connecticut, AND want a school for the strivers where you might have to mix with the hoi polloi as well, it’s good. Real good. Financial aid, if necessary, will be an issue at Hamden Hall the same as with Hopkins. Unfortunately, you need to apply to see if the school, any school, is going to really come through for you. If they want you and you need money, they choose you by offering a generous FA package. Also, I’m not sure the Hamden Hall bus goes far enough into FF county for your needs, but it might.

On the other hand, if you are far enough south in FF county, someone might ask why bother? Plenty of folks who graduated from Choate or Hopkins or Hamden Hall or other famous NE schools and are your neighbors send their kids to the local public schools with giant smiles on their faces.

If you kid has the interest and the grades and the scores and the hook and you would never consider boarding, you do have options/possiblities. That’s something, too.

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Note oddly random italics in above post; none were intentional…

MODERATOR’S NOTE:
I’m not sure why that happen, but I’ve edited the italics out.
-se

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Note: Choate does not have a policy forbidding students from an hour long commute. Apparently, they let it be a family decision. They do encourage carpooling and send out a list in the summer to all day students.

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@GnarWhail: why does Yale stink? I know they have old locker rooms, but is there a stink? I often walk the campus and do not recall any offending odors… LOL.
Most people on this forum do not have a negative attitude towards Yale; some may even think it is a good thing. It is the go to resource for Choaties. Those doing the Science Research Program who live in the area do it at Yale and there is a current student (quite brilliant) who takes uber advanced math classes at Yale.

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I know several Choaties who commuted over an hour a day. Two of them (that I know of, one was FormerCK’s best friend) graduated at the very top of the class. Day students do seem to have a bit of an advantage when it comes to study time, especially that first year, as they are not under the same restrictions (lights/internet off) and distractions as boarders and have enjoy the comforts of home. I like what @skieurope said a while ago: The only difference between day students and boarders is where they lay their heads at night. This is totally true at Choate. The two populations mix seamlessly and, with over 600 boarders, there is no sense of the campus “emptying out” on weekends. Not at all.

How far is too far to commute is totally a family decision.

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This may vary by BS, but it was certainly not my experience.

Thank you @ChoatieMom for giving me the quote credit, esp. since I probably said it over a year ago. :slight_smile:

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I appreciate all the opinions. Agreed that the commute to Choate would be long, esp. in the snow and at night. But a car pool would alleviate that negative, and might help shy ds form bonds with other day students.

DS is sensitive, not an athlete, and not likely to be big-man-on-campus socially. Feeling on the outs because of day status would be a negative. Might be worth it anyway for a demonstrably fantastic education.

Also puzzled by the “Yale stink.” One reason we were drawn to Hopkins was precisely because of its academic parent community, our thought being they’re more likely to pick a school for academic value rather than for famous name or social status reasons.

We’re not far enough down in Fairfield County to have the choice betw. private and public be a no-brainer. Our high school is good, not tip-top.

Does anyone have any thoughts/opinions/info on Greens Farms Academy? Sure is a lot closer, but I’m under the (perhaps mis-) impression that wealth and athletics rule there.

This is all moot until DS takes the SSAT or ISEE, and we evaluate his other credentials relative to the applicant pools at these superschools. Is there a consensus over which test is better?

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ISEE is one-and-done-for-six-months. SSAT is not. You can retake the SSAT if something odd happens. SSAT is probably the better choice.