Lost (College) Freshman--Needs Check on Reality

Parents Forum
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<p>Just breathe - I'm an MD, so I've been there and my D is a junior at another Ivy and my DH has taught high school chemistry for years - I know a little of which I speak.
First of all, the chemistry department/pre-med at Brown is just nuts, plain and simple. Freshmen, even Ivy League freshmen have no business in organic chemistry. A few true chemists, and a few people who have gone to science magnet school type places that offer very advanced science courses may be, but your average freshman - no way.
Second, there are many paths to med school, but the first and most important thing you need to decide is whether or not doctoring is for you. Take classes that interest you, anthro and cognitive science are fine, take computer science - your mom may know more than you do - take a government or sociology course or history.
Try to find a health care related internship, doctor shadowing opportunity - if Mom and dad are so set on med school, may be they can help, preferably at a hospital large enough to have psychiatry or some formal behavioral medicine, so you can get a chance to talk to people doing the care part of cognitive science. It is almost the norm now for students to take 5 or 6 years (including undergrad) before starting med school, either finishing their courses slowly, doing a post-bac after a non-science major, or working for a couple of years. You need to learn about medicine first, then either embrace it or discard it. If you learn that science and medicine is not for you (remember medicine is the application of science, it is different than "real" science), that's great, this is about exploring and demonstrating to your parents that you are making reasoned choices in a logical sequence, not just giving up after a bad semester.</p>

<p>After observing my D's experience, that of some of her friends, my own experience, and scuttlebutt from community physicians who sit on the admissions committee of a med school, I'm beginning to believe that trying to go to med school from an Ivy League college is probably a bad idea for most of the students - oh, yeah there are some real stars, and science geniuses, but there are also a lot of good potential docs who get turned off, and the weeding out is a little different than in a large public university.</p>

<p>Finally, go talk to the career services people at Brown, they may well have some advice for you on options and careers. There is a huge world out there, beyond professional schools, and professional schools may make more sense after exploring lots of options.</p>

<p>I just read your other posts - good for you. I still encourage you to take that computer science course, you might be surprised. I also encourage you to visit the Career people at Brown, the services the y provide may be invaluable, and they are there to serve you. you have a bright future, one bad semester just slows it down, it doesn't totally derail it.</p>

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<p>Justbreathe -- I know a chemistry PROFESSOR who nearly flunked organic. And he says other professors/instructors in his department also struggled with organic. So just because this class is giving you nightmares doesn't mean you don't belong in the sciences. OTOH, if you're not INTERESTED in the sciences, premed probably isn't the path for you. Go with your heart and your gut. You're at an amazing university that offers a world of choices. Take advantage of them. Pursue interests. Meet people & faculty. Make the most of this wonderful time in your life. It sounds like you're a mature and intellectually curious person and I think things will turn out just fine.
PS Hugs.</p>

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<p>Hi,</p>

<p>So I haven't replied in a while because I was out studying and finishing up finals. I took the exam, pretty sure I failed the class, but I'm okay with that. I already talked to a Dean who says that I should be fine. I'll get the academic warning on my permanent transcript, but will be able to get off of it pretty easily next year. I've got my classes for next year lined up and I've got a few majors I'm going to consider and explore before I have to declare at the end of next year. </p>

<p>So thanks a lot for all of your help and advice!</p>

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<p>Two sciences and a math in the same semester along with anything else requiring homework (i.e. not PE. though if it's crew or some other sports, the PE could also put a student into overload as it's not easy for some people to get up at 4 AM M-F for crew practice and do competitions on weekends and still get course work completed on time) can put some students into overload (while other students can handle lots of credits with no problem; at Cornell, there was a guy who got a 3.9 GPA in a semester where he took 60 credits - yes, as in four semester's work in one semester - and another guy that same semester at Cornell took over 30 credits and also got a high GPA doing that). Do you think if you had taken Orgo alone that you would have similarly flunked the class up to this point?</p>

<p>As for your parents, I wish I could chat with them, but since I can't, I'll pass along to you two things that I hope you'll share with them.</p>

<p>1) A former chair (like a president) of our son's grad dorm killed himself a few years back. I got some insight as to why today. It turns out the father openly blamed himself for the guy's suicide at the memorial service - said he pushed his son too hard and forced him to study physics rather than allowing him to go into a more altruistic field as the son had wanted. The parents also frowned upon the guy dating who he was dating, not because she was a bad person, but because she was Chinese (and he was Indian). So would your parents rather have a child who is in a legal and moral field that isn't their ideal field for the child or have a child who is dead? Seriously, I think that should be easy for them to answer, and yet I am sure they have no understanding of how pushing a child into a field that isn't wanted can potentially be deadly (not to blame the parents, as ultimately, whoever makes the choice to end the life is really at fault, but parents can <em>contribute</em> to such tragedies even though it's the last thing any parent would want to do).</p>

<p>2) My son's alma mater had an Honors College dinner for parents and HC students and many of the parents spoke about their own educational background and what they were doing for their career today. Much to my surprise, the ONLY parent who got a degree in the same field as he/she was working in the day of that dinner was my husband! Now I can't say if this is mostly due to smart people (as the HC parents are likely a somewhat smarter crowd than the general population average) boring of a certain field and moving onto something else or not (though I can say our son hasn't even finished his Ph.D. yet and has already told us that he intends to change fields every 10 years or less as he feels that once he's been in a field for 10 years, he'll have given as much to that field as it makes sense to give and it will be time to do something else), but the main point is that many and perhaps most successful adults are NOT in the field they thought they would be in during college or got their college degree in.</p>

<p>My own brother has an M.D. and entered his first choice neurosurgery residency and he ditched surgery for research and has never regretted that move, even if my father gave him hell for it. I've got both a bachelor's and a grad degree I don't use and have never regretted dumping out on the initial path either. It wouldn't surprise me if many of the happiest people in life are those who make educational changes (though certainly there are some like my husband who knew in high school what they wanted to do professionally and are in middle age and still very happy with that choice).</p>

<p>Good luck to you, whatever paths you traverse.</p>

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<p>I want to commend you for keeping a level head during this semester. You appear to have an optimist attitude well intact and that will serve you better in life than any college degree will, trust me! :)</p>

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<p>My son called today when he finished his orgo exam. I'm sure he's out celebrating right now that it's over and done with. I told him about your post and he said he knew someone with a 19. The prof said his class has the worst grades in 30 years or some such thing. I question why that is. Is the caliber of students different this year or is perhaps the teaching somehow less effective? </p>

<p>Good luck next year. You have already learned quite a bit about yourself. You are growing, which is what college is all about.</p>

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<p>I have to commend you. I tried to "force" my child into a hard science curriculum, something he really didnt' want. And he got accepted into quite a few partial scholarships in the area that I wanted him to study. But in the end he chose to go an entirely different path from what we have been discussing for the past 3 years, to something he states he loves. So I'm just going to give him the encouragement in that field of study. And if that doesn't work out, I will support him in whatever he chooses to study.</p>