Lost, confused, depressed uni freshman looking for pre-insight.

Applying to College
1

<p>This weekend is sort of the last 'break' I have before I go full throttle studying once more to study for the big finals, which are 2.5 weeks away, so I thought I would visit here when I had the chance and just...express my thoughts. </p>

<p>I come back to this forum once more to sort of gain some feedback for a confused college kid. Before I begin, I would like to state immediately that, yes, this Monday I will visit the undergrad advisor as well to talk to him/her about all of this, I would just like to hear from you guys so I gain some insight beforehand.</p>

<p>So right now I'm at a point where it's almost near impossible for me to enter my university's (University of Washington) beloved department of Computer Science and Engineering. I have tried very, very hard but I don't think I stand even a chance with my competition (just so you know, the University of Washington's CSE program is ranked top 10 in the nation, it is very prestigious) with how my GPA has been looking for the critical Math and CSE classes. Friends have told me to consider another major to try that is easier (note that I haven't declared anything yet), but having already taken 2 CSE classes, that would be a difficult choice to make. </p>

<p>But that's not the major reason. I think that, after having taken 2 CSE classes (Java programming), I have come to enjoy CSE studies greatly, and I wish dearly to pursue it. However, I am going head to head with very talented people here, including those who have programmed for many years before even entering college and thus breezing through these very classes I struggle to do decently in. Also, having taken a year off between high school and college and combining this with my 'averageness' and my poor high school education (I got rejected once by my university, at which I reapplied the next year and got accepted), I feel like a crippled student in not just the CSE and math classes, but studies in general. </p>

<p>I do not hesitate when I say that I have tried my best so far. My college lifestyle has just plain sucked, I have found no time whatsoever to get out and try new things and I find myself constantly in the library studying away, with a past-hobby of playing Go (a board game) once in a while as well (it was truly the only thing I had outside of studies, which I have quit a month ago or so in order to focus even more on my studies). The few friends I have made (and kept before college) are too precious for me, and if I were to lose them I am afraid depression would consume me. </p>

<p>I considered perhaps to focus on another area of engineering such as EE, but with only mediocre math grades, I would have to excel in Physics and/or Chemistry, which would be difficult for me having had no experience with either of them from HS. My uncle told me not to worry about going to college with a weak HS education because I would re-learn the materials anyways, but the pace of the class is terrifyingly fast and also my competition has already been exposed to the materials presented to them, meaning I am at a curve disadvantage when it comes to the exams. I could back away to an 'easy' major like Business, but this feels like a give-up tactic, and though I have some interest in business it is not something I wish to study for 4 years. </p>

<p>My father just called me a few hours ago and asked over the phone if I was doing well in my studies (I just arrived home for the weekend). I couldn't have given a more deceitful answer in my life. Even if I were to 100/100 all 3 of my final exams (I don't think I need to explain the impossibility behind this feat, but this is what I am aiming for nonetheless, hence studying earlier than usual), my grades would come out between 3.4 - 3.6, this is only mediocre at best to my department. I'm just so lost and confused...sympathy, tips, guidance, ANYTHING would be appreciated. I need it ever so badly. </p>

<p>PS: I tried searching Google + UW search engines, but nothing I can find shows up regarding re-taking a class other than that it can't be done more than once and it requires explicit permission. I can't find anything regarding GPA change (retaking classes I did poorly in the past in the summer is an interesting though I think), but I can ask this to my advisor on Monday, along with all of my thoughts that I just threw onto this post.</p>

<p>Technical info:
I'm a freshman at the University of Washington - Seattle.<br>
My fall quarter classes & grades + my winter quarter classes & approx. grades (I haven't taken the finals yet...):</p>

<p>Fall:
Math 124 (Calculus I - Derivatives) - 2.5
CSE 143 (Java programming) - 2.9
ECON 200 (Intro. Microecon) - 3.6</p>

<p>Winter:
Math 125 (Calculus II - Integrals) - ~2.8 right now, Final is worth 40%.
CSE 143 (Java programming II) - ~2.9, Final is worth 40%.
LING 200 (Intro. Linguistics) - ~3.0, Final is worth 35%.</p>

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<p>Intro classes are thought to be easy, but knowing U Dub, you were probably just a number in a class, which is quite different from high school, right? I don't quite know what to say, partially because I'm a high school student, partially because I'm not in your predicament, but I think the best thing you can do is just to keep trying. Like this Japanese song: </p>

<p>YouTube</a> - Utada Hikaru - Keep Trying With English Subtitles!</p>

<p>*Note: there is some foul language, but this should put a smile on your face. </p>

<p>If you can't get into U Dub's computer programming program, it's always a good idea to come up with a different plan- like you said, go into chemistry or physics. If you've read The Stranger, you'll know that the main character Meursault just takes life as it comes to him. Try your best and achieve for the best, but if not, then maybe you weren't meant for that program. You could even go into linguistics if you like it enough. Take some more intro classes and see if you like anything else, and of course, still apply to the computer programming program. It will never hurt you.</p>

3

<p>SChoe-- you sound much more together than you probably feel. What you are going through now is difficult, no doubt about that. I think (I'm a mom of a current freshman, girl, at a different school), that you are on the exact right track in planning to ask for help from both the school services and from your advisor. Can you also schedule some extra help time with TAs, professors, or is there a study center type of place with tutors? Everyone needs help with stuff from time to time. The strong thing to do (and you sound very strong, contrary to how you might be feeling) is to know when to ask for help and where to ask for it. You are not at all in denial, so things will work out for you. You are in control and you have the power. If it means changing majors, ok, but maybe it's too early to tell that at this point. Try to shorten your sight a little. Instead of looking way down the road, try to look a week down the road. Get some support to study for exams. Maybe form a study group with classmates. I am also a teacher, and I have a bit of teacher advice for you too. If you are struggling with the material, guaranteed others are too. They are probably being quiet about it; this is no fun. But you can find them and work together. You would not have been admitted to this program if the school thought you couldn't do the work. Did you have to declare your major already? If not, wait until you do have to declare it, and see where you stand then. If you did declare, then also wait a while and get advice for help, if and when you need it. You have a long way to go, and things will change. Hang in there; you are on the right track. I do know that it is very hard.</p>

4

<p>SChoe, I want to encourage you, too. You are more than the sum total of your GPA. You only live once. Seek the help you need on campus and consider other options as well. I know you desperately want CompSci but you might be surprised to find other areas of study that captivate you if you are willing to broaden your view. Take heart!</p>

5

<p>You could also consider transferring into Computer Science at another college whose department is not as competitive as UW's. There seems to be a growing demand for CS majors so I don't think that graduating from a less "prestigious" school will hurt you in terms of job/grad school. I would look into that option before you give up your dream of being a computer scientist.</p>

6

<p>I agree with the idea of looking into other less competitive computer science programs if you're certain this is what you want to study. I've worked in the field for many years and most of the people I work with, including the really
successful ones didn't come from competitve programs. Especially in computer science business applications, I don't think that matters much. Also computer science is a very broad field encompassing many different skills including good communication, analysis and business skills as well. You may be struggling with programming because you have less experience than the other students, or it may just not be right fit for you. If you really love though, you should stick with it. Talk to you advisor if there are options to still take computer science classes even if you're not in the major. Can you minor in it? Also a lot of schools have a more business oriented computer science major. You say you like business so this might be more suited to your strengths and might make college a more satisfying experience for you. And based on my experience that would be great preparation if you want to work in the field -- a lot of the strictly techincal stuff is being outsourced but there is still a need for people who understand technology and the business side of things.</p>

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<p>SCHoe101 --</p>

<p>I'd like to give you the best advice I ever received in college: get to know your professors - all of them. All professors have office hours - use them! I know it is really hard not to just avoid your professor when you are feeling like you are doing rotten, but hear me on this:</p>

<p>Professors love to teach students who want to learn!</p>

<p>If you get to know your professors and TAs, ask questions, get help, show interest in the material, etc. they will help you! I had professors several times give me extra work or projects or even an extra test to bring up a grade. On the other hand one of my friends told me the other day that he graduated a semester late because of one class he had to retake. The professor, who finally got to know him in the smaller summer section, said, "If I'd known you were an honor student, I would have worked something out to bring up that last grade so you could graduate." ARRGGGHHH. For lack of knowing a professor...</p>