Low income as essay topics? please consider my essay Topic!

College Essays
1

<p>Hello, this is my first time writing something in the forum!
For prompt #1 in UC personal statement, I, upon a great thinking, chose to write about my
experience with Lunch Tickets.
As you guys know, or hopefully know, that the lunch tickets are provided for the students under the low income families. When I entered my high school, I was very embarrassed by my financial situation. I didn't want to tell my friends why I was getting free lunches. I would tell them that my dad purchased lunch credits before school started so that I wouldn't have to carry money. Then one day, I went to a charity work under my Habitat for Humanity Club. There, I encountered so many underprivileged students who didn't even have the opportunities to get lunch tickets or anything. Since then I learned not to hide my economic background because I knew that my parents did lunch ticket program to support me physically. I also learned to take all the chances (SAT fee waivers, AP waivers) that i have so that i can succeed with available resources to help the low income students with various scholarship and any waiver programs that I will advocate in the future. I also began to appreciate my life in free education America. </p>

<p>please please please! critique me harshly and truthfully as soon as possible! TT im sorry im so demanding but! Im like dying.... !!! cause I don't know what to write. I think im overthinking it but please guys HELP!</p>

2

<p>You get only so many words to show a college what you bring to the party. So if you use the essay to tell them you’re no longer embarrassed by your financial situation, what are they left thinking you bring?</p>

3

<p>starting charitable work for students who need financial support? TT
it’s so hard to incorporate what i can do to represent the school, unique story, lesson learned with anything that i can think of! but thanks anyways!
i have add on question, then how does a story of godzilla, color of toothbrushes describing ur friends, rainbow sherbet’s color representing personalities etc… give something valuable to college party? (btw these were the essay topics that got them into good colleges!)</p>

4

<p>The topic does not matter, it’s what you say in the essay. An essay about being low income is fine, but not centered on it not bothering you anymore.</p>

5

<p>I think that sounds like an interesting idea… just make sure you don’t sound like you’re asking for the sympathy vote. Good luck! :)</p>

6

<p>I would say your essay idea does a lot more than reveal you are no longer ashamed of your financial circumstances. It shows you are appreciative of your parents efforts to feed you, despite their limited resources. It demonstrates you realize there are many worse off than you. It demonstrates you are educable, in that you learned from a different perspective and changed your own perspective, and that you have taken advantage of opportunities that were available to you. It also shows a desire to help others less fortunate than you, both because you belong to the Habitat club and because you want to help others take advantage of the programs that have helped you. It also brings authenticity.</p>

<p>If you were to begin with a story about an experience in the lunch room that causes you to reflect on the issues you bring up you could probably remove any inkling of lobbying for sympathy (although, I don’t really get that from it anyway) and also probably introduce some other facets of your personality and finest qualities.</p>

7

<p>thank you for all your comments and advices! =0)</p>

8

<p>Yes, this is a fine essay topic. It’s more of a maturing, coming of age story. It could possibly say a lot about your character, more by implication rather than direct statement.</p>

9

<p>thanks you!</p>

10

<p>I actually thought this sounded like a pretty good way of writing about being low income - I think as long as you’re careful, you can definitely pull this off without sounding whiny. Give it a try!</p>

11

<p>can you guys tell me little bit about what’s a whiny, pitiful, sympathy-wanting essay? just in case i drift towards that way? for this topic i’m not really focusing on my hardship but more of how I was immature of thinking that low income is something to hide and how that led to my inability and my perception that using the surrounding resources/help is embarrassing and is not a privilege or fortune.</p>

12

<p>Cliche. “I’m low income and was embarrassed, but then I realized that I’m no less of a person because of it, and from this situation I learned 3 generic life lessons.”</p>

<p>If you’re disadvantaged (low income, handicapped, etc) it’s almost always best to leave it out of your essays and then let them figure it out from the rest of your application (parent education/employment history, additional info section, etc). Coming of age stories are done by thousands of college students applying to every college in the U.S. that requires an essay. If it’s not low income, it’s being handicapped, or having family problems, or having a relative with a disease. They all have the exact same story a heart: “I learned something critical about life because of one situation or event.” No matter how true it may or may not be, you don’t want to be telling the admissions people that. First, because everyone else is telling them that too. Second, because is that really what you want them to define you as? Your essay is the most personal part of your application. If you write your essay about being low income, their thought coming away from it won’t be, “Thoughtful, independent, mature,” it’ll be “low income”.</p>

<p>Your essay is a magnificent opportunity that every college applicant should be thrilled to have. It’s your chance to get them to know YOU. Low income isn’t YOU. Heck, I’d even venture to guess that “proud of who I am, taking chances, and appreciating American education” isn’t YOU. Those are great traits, but they should be given! Let those traits shine through in your essay without you stating them outright.</p>

<p>Which of the following two statements does a better job of convincing you?</p>

<p>1) “I love math. It’s pretty cool how it all works together and makes perfect sense if you think about it. No one thought I was good at math but I did well in the end.”</p>

<p>2) “Parabolas, differentials, matrices! The world of math is absolutely fantasitc! I remember my first algebra class way back in middle school; I was so scared. Everyone told me it was going to be hard because I wasn’t much of a math person, and I couldn’t find any reason to disagree with their prediction. But I sat, and I listened, and the beautiful world of logic and numbers opened up to me.”</p>

<p>See what I mean? In the second statement the author doesn’t even SAY that she loves math! No where does she say she enjoys it one bit. In fact, if anything, she says that she ISN’T a math person. But you KNOW she loves math. You know it more than the author of the first statement.</p>

<p>THAT’s what you want to do! Go outside the box, don’t be rigid. You DESERVE to go to this school. If they don’t admit you it’s their loss. You’re the prize. Don’t waste your time telling them the same things that everyone else is going to tell them, let them know how much they’re missing out of if they don’t admit you! If the prompt asks you to write about a life changing experience, write about a trip to McDonalds! It’s unexpected, but I bet it’s true in some way, and it’ll catch their eye way more than your life story. If the prompt asks you to write about a significant hurdle in your life, write about your attempts to fix a jammed stapler! There’s no wrong answer. The most frustrating moment in my entire life was trying to fix a jammed stapler, it’s true, so I’d tell them about how ridiculous it was when my only stapler around jammed and I had to hand in 3 papers the next day, and how the stapler seems to be a good metaphor for my life because I’m a living incarnation of Murphy’s law.</p>

<p>Be creative! Have fun! If you don’t enjoy WRITING your college essay they won’t enjoy READING it. Don’t even give them a CHANCE to think of you as “low income.” Don’t even put that idea on the board. Do you like puppies? Macaroni and cheese? Is your favorite flower a venus fly trap? Do you like to walk in the rain? Let them know YOU, not your SITUATION.</p>

13

<p>Actually, I like your idea for the essay. May I add a couple pieces of advice that I learned from this forum and others?</p>

<p>1) First, make a list of the personal attributes that you want to convey through your essay.
eg. determined, compassionate - whatever the case may be. The essay is the place to emphasize attributes that may not be obvious from the rest of your application.</p>

<p>2) Think about how you can “show” those attributes through the story that you are going to tell. For example, rather than saying “I learned to become more compassionate, blah, blah, blah”, “show” how you became more compassionate by sharing a scene from your life. </p>

<p>(I recently read a draft of my nephew’s admissions essay in which he said “I like to express my creativity through my writing.” My comment was “That is actually funny because there is nothing creative about your essay!” Of course, my advice for him was to “show” his creativity by writing a creative essay, rather than to “tell” the reader that he is creative. He did rewrite the essay with a creative twist to it.)</p>

<p>3) Catch the reader’s attention at the beginning of the essay. There are a lot of ways to do this. The sample essays will give you some ideas.</p>

<p>Good luck and have fun with it!</p>

14

<p>yup i agree with gutter. they would much rather hear something funny or wacked out than ur typical little cliched story that relates an experience to a message which showed a trait you gained. make the essay original dont be like the other million kids.</p>

15

<p>thanks guys… the sad thing is that for me, I can’t think of anythingggg!!! TT</p>

16

<p>

</p>

<p>That’s the problem, you’re trying to think of something. Don’t torture yourself trying to write a masterpiece; just sit down and write and the brilliance will come. Here’s an essay I just cranked out right this very moment to respond to a topic that I just made up off the top of my head but that is pretty generic.</p>

<p>Prompt: Write about your proudest moment.</p>

<p><start essay=“” [1:51pm=“” est]=“”></start></p>

<p>If I could be any inanimate object, I’d be a refrigerator. Now hold on, don’t laugh and throw my essay out the window just yet, let me explain. The most horrific memories I have of the past 18 years of my life all involve being HOT. Whether it’s being bundled up in two jackets in the back seat of the car on the way to church with the heat on full blast at the age of six, or going on vacation to New Hampshire when the average temperature for the week was 99F and our room didn’t have air conditioning, or burning my hand on the stove, I don’t associate heat with anything positive in my life. The only possible escape from this trend is taking a hot shower, and honestly I do that far less than most of the people I know. Cold showers are where it’s at. My life would be so much better if I could just plug myself into an outlet and manufacture cool air for my own enjoyment.</p>

<p>So when I think of my proudest moment, I can’t say I was being too charitable. All I did was give my younger brother, who was 3 at the time, my blanket. My mom was loading us up in the car to send us off to the babysitter on another cold morning in the middle of December, and as usual, neither my brother nor myself had any intention of staying awake for very long once we got into the car, so we brought pillows and blankets. Or at least I did. My brother was a little forgetful and didn’t bring anything. As my mom turned the key in the ignition, all I heard was, “Mommy, please, I want to get my blanket. I’m cold.” But our poor mother was already late for work because of us, and as much as she would have liked to run in and grab my brother’s covers, she had to actually show up at her job some time in the near future.</p>

<p>And so I committed the first act of kindness that I can remember. I took my pillow and my blanket, and with reluctant determination, I handed them to my brother. There was an awkward pause as he stared at my offering, and then he took them and nestled himself in the seat corner to take a nap. I’m not sure what my mom was thinking at the time, but it didn’t matter; everything was suddenly peaceful, both in my mind and in the observable car interior.</p>

<p>Exactly why this is my proudest moment I don’t think I’ll ever know. Neither my brother nor my mother actually remember the event, and the whole ordeal lasted maybe two minutes. It probably had something to do with me finally listening to the instruction of my kindergarten teacher and actually sharing. Not that I never had an act of kindness before the age of seven, but there was something about giving up a personal possession so that my brother of all people could enjoy it that was immensely satisfying. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t going to use the blanket or the pillow, it was significant merely because they were mine.</p>

<p>There’s no real moral to this story but it doesn’t need one. Instead I took a trip down memory lane and got to ponder about how much more I like the cold than the heat. So instead of making up some life lesson, I’m just going to end it here and go play video games with my brother. He can pay me back for the blanket by letting me win a game or two.</p>

<p><end essay=“” [2:14pm=“” est]=“”></end></p>

<p>Is it the best essay ever? No. And I didn’t even look it over after I wrote it so I’m sure there are errors. But I’d much rather read that than something forced that the writer thought I WANTED to read.</p>

17

<p>mhmm so many suggestions i don’t know which to follow!</p>

18

<p>thank you for your great help!</p>

19

<p>I agree with post # 5…being that you are having a hard time choosing your topic, try looking at previous essay topics from the particular school you are looking at.</p>

20

<p>thanks! I’m just waiting for more feedback… thanks in advance!</p>