@cameo43 is right - although @cameo43 being right is old news… BS admissions are way more holistic than CC make them seem. I’ll go on a limb and say that being calculated about EC choices, etc. to pad a kid’s resume and position him or her in a way that’s perceived as “competitive” is not only a bad lesson to teach our children but also doesn’t have the presumed return, or may even backfire. It seems to me that schools care more about a range of personalities, talents, interests, and experiences, and everyone’s best bet is just to be who they are. This way, wherever they end up, they will be in just the right spot that’s perfect for them. And then you’ll see them blossom in ways you’d never imagined!
LOL @GoatMama, my kid would beg to differ with your first sentence… But thanks for the vote of confidence! 
Took the kids to Bounce today. Dodgeball a great way to pass the time until M10.
@sadieshadow – passing the time for them or for you? 
Anyone else wondering why we are dong this, or second-guessing ? I’m sure if I review the parent essays, I will know what I wrote down.
@Golfgr8 Second guess it all the time. Of course no one in my or spouse’s family has ever gone to BS.
What would $250,000 in an investment account work out to in 20 years?
laenen I am sorry to hear about what has happened to the private day schools in your community. Our situation is more in line with the boarding schools-the schools here are just not able to accommodate the demand. Going to Bounce was for me of course although the kids did have fun. I would not second guess ourselves although it is natural. And—once the acceptances come in and we have a sense of where our child is going lets breathe a moment instead of moving on to the next phase of worry!
Thanks, I alternate feeling like the post by@Korab1 and above like@sadieshadow!! Thanks, @Korab!!! Yes, $250k - my assisted living savings or boarding school? But seriously folks…,Our student is appropriately conflicted about going far away, yet also knows how limited life is here. So, lots of things cooking in the BS “stew” for kids & parents. For our student, one of the positives was seeing how much better the instruction was in the smaller BS classes. Also, the experience made our student think about the greater “teen world” beyond our town and beyond the friend list of Instagram & Snapchat!
Why do we second-guess? Because we are invested parents…we want the best for our kids. When they mess up, we discipline them…and then wonder if we screwed them up somehow, when they need to do better, we push them…and then wonder if we pushed too hard. We want our kids to have better opportunities than we did. We want them to avoid the same mistakes we made, to value their options and assets more than we did, to make more of every moment…and all the while we silently second-guess our performance as parents. We second-guess because we love our kids with our entire being and only want the ultimate happiness and success for them…and for that reason, we are all anxious for M10. Hang in there, guys…and in the meantime, know that your second-guessing is a the best indicator that you’re doing an amazing job!
As I am reading these thoughtful posts from parents who are working so had to do the right thing for their children, I am re-realizing one of the reason I love CC. I see outside our bubble here–and see parents who are also drawn to BS-for related but different reasons. I am so excited that my son will become friends (almost family) with some of your children, students from other parts of the country, other parts of the world–drawn together for very specific reasons. This is a great reminder of why I feel BS is so important. While it will of course be its own “bubble” it will undoubtedly add a dimension that will bring him home to our community with new eyes (just as camp has).
I agree that there is nothing wrong with second-guessing. It’s healthy and it’s part of the process of self-knowledge for parents and students alike. The reason for my very first post on CC was second-guessing: I wanted to tap the insight of people who have traveled this road before and determine is it worth it. Your own answer to that question may fluctuate a bit from day to day, but assuming a normal distribution, I hope you find yourselves on the right side of the bell curve. As someone’s (@PhotographerMom?) parent said, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.
Second guessing here too, and bracing for rejections. 11th and need FA so this is gonna be tough!
If the news is disappointing I think it is important to let it be his disappointment–and not burden him with whatever it means to us. I have a feeling he will be fine with any of the outcomes. . .
There was a lot of tension and second-guessing in our house at this point 5 years ago. DH and I were unequally committed to the process – I felt so strongly that BS – one in particular – would be so much better for DS than LPS while DH was balking at the cost and hassle. I wonder if any of you are in families where the commitment to this option is uneven? I felt really alone during that last couple of weeks of the wait and hadn’t discovered the folks here! DS had only one other classmate who was not going to LPS, and he was attending a parochial school. I knew that if there hiccups along the way at BS, whether academic, social, etc., I’d be the one who ended up dealing with the fall-out as I was the one who had pushed for this option. Sort of like being the one who plans the family vacation and then somehow ending responsible for everyone else’s good time! In that respect, I suspected that the best of news would likely come with a bit of a price for me…
But we were all able to agree that this would be great practice for college. We’d had the experience of looking at schools and applying. If we had acceptances, we’d get another look, this time when they were trying to sell us on them and not vice versa. If we struck out, we knew life would go on. While I hated the idea of our LPS for DS, I was able to acknowledge that there were people, not just in other parts of the world, but in other parts of the country and state, who would be delighted for the opportunity to attend our LPS and that in reality, I was simply “optimizing” for DS, not protecting him from dreadful peril. DS would have been fine heading off to LPS with his local friends if that’s what had happened although he had gotten excited about the schools he’d applied to and I think he felt, too, that they were a better option.
This part of the wait is tough indeed. Hang in there folks! It’s less than a week!
Thanks for sharing!! Think my DH doesn’t want to discuss even his feelings before March 10!! It’s a huge leap of faith to send your child to BS. We love our kids so much and want to make the best decisions. DH did ask an AO @ security & safety imeasures at the school during interview visit. Protective parent! Anyone else ask @ this? I think it made AO uncomfortable (but the school was in the news) so worried now that he blew the interview & got a bad mark on the checklist!
@buuzn03 - My 7th grader is applying to 8th grade at Groton and my 8th grader is applying to several schools in MA and NH. I also had to take one of my sons far away for the SSAT - about 250 miles. My older son tested about an hour away, though, as he was taking the upper level SSAT. We were halfway to the middle level SSAT location on the original date when we got an email that the test was postponed for the following weekend because of bad weather. So, one son tested one Saturday and the other tested the next.
We are also over 900 miles from the boarding schools. I haven’t figured out all of the logistics yet of getting them back and forth for breaks. They have flown places but not by themselves, and I haven’t wanted to dive into that research until I know whether they are going away.
The boys want to stay home from school on Friday and do something together as a family so they are not checking for emails constantly and so they are not distracted all day at school. I have mixed feelings about this and haven’t really decided how we will spend Friday (though I have taken the day off work because I know I’ll be useless).
How do you all plan to spend Friday?
@Golfgr8 – this is the exact reason I will force my husband to do revisits (fingers crossed he has a reason to) – so that whatever choice is made, he has little to complain about. Lol. He has not seen any of the schools DS applied to & did the “whatever y’all think I will be ok with” spiel–HA! Not falling for it because when there’s a problem, all fingers will point to me! Nice try, buddy!
@gardenstategal – almost the very reason I think I may have destroyed chances at a school or two…asked about security/town visit changes with the new laws that recently went into effect. Now I’m wondering if they’ve twisted my words/meanings around…why I couldn’t just leave well enough alone, etc etc. oh well. What’s done is done
@KentuckyMomma. I hear ya! This remote process is quite an undertaking!! It’s funny you should ask about M10…we just found out my daughter has the day off because her school did not use their snow days, my husband is at a point in his project that he can be home most of the day and I work from home, so even though I couldn’t get the day off, I can be with everyone when things are opened. But…my DS is at school. :)) so, we are debating letting him start an hour late for all of those early day notifiers…hoping he won’t have any exams then. And then his last class of the day is a non-graded class, plus the fact we need to drive 325 miles that afternoon for his team’s playoff finals (they just won semis today, so this is a new twist). So, I think we will pull him an hour early and then open the rest as the family is driving across the state together. I think the main thing was going through it as a family and reminding him that we are the ones that will be there for him no matter what–through smiles and tears and that we love him and are proud of him regardless of the outcome. M10 affects the entire family, so we’re going to embrace it together!
PS, I warned my coworkers that I will be a bit distracted Friday, so they’ve received that memo. Lol
@Golfgr8 - I wouldn’t think there’s anything wrong or inappropriate about questions about safety and security. Here in CT, after Newtown, school security has been a huge issue. There have been ongoing discussions about security at our school. I am not sure if I asked it anywhere, but I have wondered about campus security, as these schools are very open and accessible (except for those in CT that you can only reach by driving for hours on hilly, winding roads). I would think that the safety of your child is a valid concern.
Yes & thanks @CTMom21 – good points you make! Our school has gates & security people. Prior day school in city had lockdown drills even before the tragedy at Newtown. The kids have grown up in the lockdown drill atmosphere & gated campus-- they really didn’t know anything else. When we went to visit schools, it was like “Hey, where is the front gate security guy/gal?” or "Front door & desk security check in " . I think the schools have security measures but don’t advertise it. Its actually a big part of our school’s risk assessment ( we have lawyers just for this) & we have a large security team-- but it could be due to proximity to an urban area. Probably different in the country.
True & funny Security story to ease the stress of this week (are you ready?): When my little one was in first grade, she was hit by a softball and I was called by the school to fetch her immediately. The security at the school was so tight that we had to present our driver’s license to get into the gate. Normally this is ok, but I had received the emergency call while I was in the middle of getting my roots done ( moms, can you imagine?). I drove with wet hair & tin foil to reach my child. When I arrived at the school gate and presented by license, the security officer claimed that I looked nothing like the person in the photo. He denied me entrance! Luckily a faculty member was near and could serve as a witness for my parental identity. After that, ALL the security guys knew me!